It’s legally 14 here, which is insane given that there are no after school care facilities for children beyond primary school.
While I agree that many 12 and 13 year olds are relatively responsible, the first couple of years of high school are also a period when many children start bending the rules when unsupervised.
I know there are times in our neighbourhood when no-one my children know is home, just as there are times when every phone number I call is either engaged or not answering.
While children might be good at following the drill for those emergencies we can anticipate, I can certainly think of situations which have arisen in our home even when I’ve been present that my children would have been unable to deal with because doing so involved thinking “on their feet”.
I take calls for Child Protective Services in Texas. I will recommend cases for investigation, but the CPS worker has the final say in deciding if what the parents did was criminally negligent. But we are given these guidelines:
Neglectful Supervision is present (and a request for investigation is sent) if a child of the following age is left unsupervised for the following amount of time (or longer):
0-4 years: ever
5 years: after school, until dark
6 years: all day, until dark
7 years: after dark
8-10 years: overnight
11-12 years: several days
We’ll adjust this based on factors like maturity, frequency of occurence, availability of other responsible adults (e.g. a neighbor next door). Also, kids 7 and younger can’t be in charge of kids younger than they are, and 8-9 year olds can’t be in charge of kids 5 and younger.
I was a latchkey kid from about age 10, but then again I was always pretty stable and trustworthy as a kid - not given to wild fugues. I’d say it depends on the kid, who should get credit for the maturity he or she displays.
I pretty much ran wild during the summers, since my parents were separated and had to work. I was always fairly precocious, so there wasn’t much deliberation on my parents’ parts about how much to leave me alone. When I was 6-7 I could go to the playground and library, which were 2-3 blocks away on my own. When I was 9 I was a latchkey kid, and I’d often be alone until after dark (it gets dark early in the winter in Seattle). When I look back, I think that any parent that let their kids run around like I did would be considered negligent. However, I can’t think of a time when my lack of supervision led to problems greater than missing the bus in the morning (my mom left for work early, so I was responsible for getting myself off to school, as well).
I never caused trouble when I was home alone until I was a teenager.
Well for me… I started ‘babysitting’ when I was quite young. I would go with my Mom on her babysitting jobs to keep the other kids company. I distinctly recall a time when my family got together for a reunion in NS and I ended up looking after about 6 or so kids by myself while everyone else had dinner. I was 9 or 10 at the time, and the adults were all downstairs in the diningroom BUT I had the responsibility of keeping track of all the kids including at least one baby and probably a toddler or two if I recall my cousins ages right while the adults had a quiet supper away from the kids.
I took the babysitters course at 11 when the age allowed was 12 and up…
I also had to look after my brother overnight a number of times once I turned 12. My mother worked nights (minimum wage when it was less than it is now, at a 7-11) and couldn’t afford to pay a babysitter once welfare said that I was old enough to look after my brother (8 at the time) on my own. It appears they didn’t differentiate between what time of day the babysitter was needed for, but I’m sure Children’s Services would’ve screamed bloody murder if they found out. I’m also certain my insomnia problems start from this period but that’s a whole 'nother story.
Any younger than that, heck I can remember going to the candy store a whole block away by myself, with the parents knowledge. This was before the first move and I couldn’t have been more than 6 or 7.
My kid sister stays at home alone for about an hour sometimes, and she’s eight. If I’m at home with her, our parents can leave us at home for the whole day unsupervised. It’s been that way for the past… two or three years, I think. And before that, I’ve been left alone at home many times. It’s apparently not such a big deal in Taiwan, since most (if not all) of my friends are like that too.
When I was about 10, Mom thought my brother (7) and I needed a babysitter. She hired the girl from down the street, who was about 14. Babysitter told Brother to call 911 because she was choking, he did, and Babysitter called them back to cancel the ambulance. She’d been faking it.
I was routinely left home alone when I was nine or ten. My sister and mother were often at work. I’d come home, call my mom around three to let her know I was home, and she’d be home around six. Of course, this was back when people didn’t necessarily lock their doors and before kidnappers and pre-teen drug use were invented.
I’m going on 17 now. My parents are quite, nay, wildly sctrict people. They aren’t fanatical, they just have a strong sense of what’s appropriate and what’s not. They’ve left me home alone countless times since the age of 7 (actually, they left me to baby-sit my 2 younger siblings). Mind you, I was an extraordinarily responsible child…I ranked in the top 3% of test scores in my province (I wasn’t a dumbass), and I’ve worked on a farm since the age of 6 (I wasn’t a lazy dumbass kid). These factors may or may not have had something to do with the fact that my parents entrusted me with this responsibility at this youong age. Nonetheless, it’s a personal, unique thing.
The guidelines on this page say most kids aren’t ready until 10-12. However some kids will certainly be ready earlier, some later and there are other factors to consider - safety of the neighborhood, etc.
I was also a latchkey kid from about 8 on. I was babysitting small children (babies) by 11. Red cross babysitting classes start at (I believe) 11 - so if you can watch other children by then you should certainly be able to watch yourself for five minutes several years before that. (Although I’d never hire an 11 year old sitter for my kids).
Elfkin - your brother could have had the same experience while your mother was home and ran in to pull the roast from the oven. Or even if she was standing right there and talking to the neighbor. Parents are not some magic force field that prevents accidents from happening. An adult may be expected to keep a closer eye on a child than another child (maybe, its a big maybe). And an adult may be expected to act quicker in an emergency. An adult can drive to the hospital for stitches - while a child home alone has to wrap his bloody hand up and walk over to the neighbors (or call 911).
Oh, here are my county guidelines- Ramsey County, Minnesota
The child is left alone or is held responsible for siblings or other children for extended periods of time and in circumstances beyond the child’s chronological age, social maturity or judgment to handle safely. This includes the child’s exposure to or expectations to manage environmental hazards. Assessments will be conducted on the following:
Children 5 and younger left alone for any period of time.
Children 6-9 alone over three hours.
Children 10-13 alone for over 12 hours.
Children alone over 24 hours if parents whereabouts are unknown to children.
In all of above CPS will involve police for immediate safety check of children where appropriate
Children 11 to 14 may baby-sit with the expectation that an adult will return later in day.
Children 15 and older may baby-sit for more than 24 hours.
Very like the Texas guidelines above. I’ve heard the 12 thing in Minnesota before (and for other states) and think its often based on what people have heard - not what is written as law.
My parents began letting me stay at home by myself when I was five. They really didn’t have any choice since they both worked in the next town and my sisters didn’t get home from school until thirty minutes after I did. Apparently I was the trustworthy kid because I never got in trouble (aside from bringing home an unscheduled friend once) and I called my mom at work as soon as I got home.
I started flying cross-country unaccompanied when I was 4 (my mom made me lie and say I was 6) and was often left home for short periods of time at around the same age (mom going to the store or something)
I started taking the bus to school (city bus, not school bus) in 2nd grade. My school was about 45 minutes and 2 busses away. I was nearly abducted twice that I can recall (someone trying to pull me into their car) and had a man show me his penis once, and had a retarded man chase me almost every day for quite a while, as well as tell me that he loved me a number of times. After school I had a key and was typically alone until 6pm or so.
At the time, I considered myself neglected, and I probably was though not to a criminal degree. (I had to make most of my own meals, for example, starting around age 7 or so.) Looking back, though, I’m glad for it because I learned to be independant and capable.
Dominic has been home alone long enough for me to run to a neighbor’s house for something really quick, but that is about it. He’s 7. He is quite independant, and when I’m sick (for example) he is capable of not only entertaining himself from the time he gets home from school (3) to the time Daddy gets home (7ish) but he often takes care of me as well by bringing me drinks or snacks, or tucking me in, or asking me if he can help me.
In another year or two I would probably be willing to dash to the store and leave him, but not any major errand like “real” grocery shopping or such. Beyond that I’d have to wait and see how responsible he is at the time.
I don’t think there is any magical age, I think that it is pretty much up to how each kid can handle it.
My older two are 10 1/2 and 9; they can sty home for a few hours if we’re out running errands, etc. The younger one, 7, comes with us or stays with a neighbor. There is a list with my cell and pager numbers, nearby relatives and close friends numbers to call if there is an emergency.
