My 2 sons are 11 and 7. I think they are pretty close to being able to stay home alone for an hour or so. (I know they need to be older to stay home alone for an extended time) We would only leave them home alone for a short time if we were nearby (like at the store or YMCA) and we both can carry cell phones in case of a problem.
I can’t remember when my parents let me stay home alone but I think it was around 11 or 12. Does anyone have and advice on this?
It depends on the kids. We stayed home alone when my oldest sister was about 10. That would have made me 7. My mother was confident in our ability to care for ourselves. We cleaned, did our own laundry and cooked dinner. We never had any problems. I also became a certified babysitter when I was 11 (the youngest age allowable in Massachusetts at that time). I started babysitting right after that. When I was 16, I babysat for a 12 and 10 year old. Those girls couldn’t even make a peanut butter sandwich without help.
So, as I said, it depends on the kid. If you feel your son is mature enough at his age, give him a test. A written test I mean. My mom made us take a test on what to do in an emergency and what was allowed and not allowed while she was gone. After that, she let us stay home while she did groceries. She gradually extended the time until we were home alone while she was at work.
Good Luck.
It depends on the child. I wasn’t allowed to stay home alone until 14 or 15 (high school), despite being more than capable to do so at a younger age. I don’t recommend you wait that long unless the child is a complete dolt.
Be aware that, depending on where you live, there may be laws or CPS guidelines that say, “Children under X years of age should not be left alone.”
<shrugs> If they are old enough to play outside unsupervised for extended period of time, then they are old enough to stay home alnoe for a few hours.
And as of course you’ve realized, leaving two children home alone is entirely different from leaving just one - if something happened to the younger child, can the older one deal with it? Do they get in more trouble together than they would separately? I was left alone during the day from age 10 or so, but I was an only child.
Yes, indeed. I believe that here in NJ the minimum age is 14. Not that the cops are going door to door to look for 13-year-olds home alone, BUT: If something goes wrong while a 7- or 11-year old is home alone, the parent (or guardian or whoever) can be charged with something like child neglect. [IANAL, this is not intended as legal advice, but is something I’ve been told by social workers and others in Div. of Youth and Family Services.]
To be 11 and home alone with a seven year old can be tough. While the older kid is probably trustworthy enough, is the 7 year old likely to mind him, or pull “you’re not the boss of me!” crap?
The first time my brother and I were left alone together, we were 11 and 5. My Mom was gone for a half hour … while I was in the bathroom, my brother took it as an opportunity to go outside and destroy his arch nemesis, the swimming pool. I’m not talking about a wading pool, but a plastic above ground pool that held several hundred gallons of water. He never would have done it if Mom or dad was there, why else would he have picked a time when they weren’t?
Your boys might be fine alone for an hour, but if the younger one isn’t likely to see the older as an authority figure, I think I’d hold of a long while yet before forcing his brother to look after him.
If they are raised right, most children can be pretty much self sufficient by the time they are 7 or 8, they can feed themselves, go to sleep when they are tired, they can easily call the police, fire department, or an ambulance if they need one, and keep the door locked.
Of course, if you raise(?) your children only to become “big children”, and you dont/cant trust them being alone with poisons, power tools, guns, knives, gas stoves, electric outlets, etc then the answer is never, even if they are 40.
One of my all time scariest experiences involved a phone call from my cousin who had just started bringing himself home to an empty house.
My cousin was about 11 (I think) at the time, he had a very over active imagination and very little common sense and he couldn’t really be relied on to respond well to a crisis.
The gist of the phone call was as follows.
He’d come home from school with one of his freinds.
They’d heard a noise coming from the bedroom and were sure that there was someone else in the house with them.
They had responded to this by running past the (still open)front door to the kitchen to arm themselves with “big” knives and then running back past the handy escape route to the living room to prepare an alamo style last stand (I blame Home Alone) and call me.
Yes he was sure there was someone there, they were still banging around.
I knew he was probably imagining things but under the circumstances I obviously had no choice other than tell him to
A) Get out of the house now
B) Go to your neighbours
C) Ring the police
D) Ring me back when it’s safe and tell me what happened
As it turned out he performed steps A, B, and C flawlessly and completely forgot step D in all the excitement. I therefore had to spend a rather nerve racking hour or so waiting for my sister to get down there and ring me back and tell me that
Moral of the story - I wouldn’t leave kids home alone until you’re sure that they’ll act sensibly if something does go wrong.
Thanks for the advice so far. We will have rules that they need to follow. I think this is one area where cell phones are a big help - when I was a kid there were no cell phones. Right now my wife and I have cell phones but just keep them in the car but we will start carrying them when the kids are home alone.
This summer they will be 12 and 8 so that’s likely when we’ll try some time home alone for them. We also have good neighbors that can help out if we can’t get home right away.
My parents let me go home after school, starting when I was nine. I remember being a little afraid to be by myself at first, but then learned to enjoy taking care of myself. Time away from little sis was nice too, even if it was only for an hour or so. If I’d had to take care of her, there would have been major problems because she was born to cause trouble, I swear.
We started out when our daughter was 6 or 7 - we went for a walk around the block and left her home watching TV. We were gone all of, I think 15 minutes. Eventually, I’d run to the store and leave her home - maybe 30-40 minutes.
When she was 9 - almost 10 - she came home from school by herself. The bus stop was 4 houses down and there were a dozen or more kids who got off at the same stop. She’d let herself in, lock the door, and start her homework. I’d be home within an hour of her arrival.
She was in her early teens when we let her stay home alone overnight. By the time she was 16, she was spending entire 3-day weekends home alone. In a few months, she’ll be getting her own apartment. I think the gradual steps we took gave her the confidence she needed and I have no worries about her living alone. Well, except that she’s messy, but that’s another story entirely.
FairyChatMom, that is a good approach to it, I think. I’m 17 years old, going off to college in the fall, and I am not allowed to spend a night alone and will not be until I am off at school. Consequently, I am scared to death of doing so in college. I really wish my parents had been more trusting, as I never gave them reason not to be.
We didn’t let the kids stay at home for long until they were 12, even then it was only for an hour or just to run to the store. I would advise that they do not answer the door when you are away.
Partly the appropriate age must depend on where you live. In a pretty safe small town in Ohio in the late 70s, my parents left me alone for an hour or two, in the afternoon, with my younger siblings from age 11 or so. In my favor, the sibs saw me as an authority figure (too much like Dad?).
My brother and I (twins, not identical) were home for a few hours pretty much every day from the time we were six.
We started when our kids were 7 and 9. First 1/2 hour then working our way up. They only freaked once after we moved to the midwest from the east. We told them we would be home at a given time and based on what was on TV they thought we were way late. They then proceeded to call all of the Sears stores in the phone book looking for us. If it happened today we would probably be arrested. The nice Sears ladies on the phone told them to chill and if we didn’t return call them back. Way above the call of duty there.
Children Home Alone And Babysitter Age Guidelinesfrom the National Child Care Information Center of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. The answer is:It depends on the kid and the circumstances and state and local guidelines. :rolleyes:
I was in grade 4 when I was coming home by myself, so what, age 9 ? Something like that. I was a pretty responsible kid at that age, but I also got freaked quite a lot. I’d just go to the library a little ways down the street if I got that nervous alone. And I had to call my mom at work when I got home. (I would stay home from around 3-430 after school), but never overnight or anything.