At what age did you let y ou child stay home alone for short periods?
I’m going to start letting my 11 year old son stay home for about 45 minutes at a time. He’s a good, responsible kid.
What do you think?
That’s what 6th grade/middle school. For 45 minutes, I wouldn’t be concered if he’s a ‘good kid.’
If he’s responsible, I wouldn’t worry about it. My mother was finishing up college when my brother and I were 9 and 11. We regularly came home ~4PM, and mom would get home from class ~6PM. We never had any problems. Of course, we lived in a doorman building, but I don’t remember ever having to go to the doorman for help with anything. That being said, we lived in NYC, and thus were pretty mature and responsible at a young age. YMMV.
Also, when we lived on long island, my mother would regularly go grocery shopping (1.5 hour trip), leaving us home alone. Our main rule was that we couldn’t go swimming. We never had any problems.
He should be fine. Then again, I grew up in an age were it was common to see 6-7 year old latch-key kids.
Give him a clear set of rules (Don’t leave the house. Don’t turn on the stove) and have him memorize the cell-phone number of either you or another responsible adult.
I’d be nonchalant about it. “Going to the store, see ya in a few. Don’t let the house burn down.”
I don’t think you want your kid to think it’s a big deal you’re leaving them alone.
My parents left us home alone frequently and for long periods by the time my older brother was 7 or so. Of course, he used this time to beat the hell out of me, so I don’t know that it was such a great decision. We never burned the house down or got into the guns or liquor, though.
So . . . just my humble opinion, and it varies from kid to kid, 11 is plenty old. He could get too attached to you or start feeling like you don’t trust him if you don’t start cutting him some slack soon. Again, just my very humble opinion.
Same here, except I was the older one. Just like you, we always took complete advantage of this situation as an opportunity to beat the shit out of each other, and, if Mom or Dad didn’t specify who got to “do” the TV, there would be bloodshed!
We started leaving our son on his own for very short periods (say, during a walk down the street to the corner grocery store) when he was a bit younger - I’m not sure how old, but he is 10 now and I’m sure we did it at least a year ago. However, he was living in an apartment building on the first floor, with doormen who knew him only a few steps away. Also, he is a very sensible kid.
It’s a moot question now that we’re in Indonesia with household staff always around, but I suspect I would feel comfortable leaving him on his own for 2-3 hours at a stretch now that he is 10, although I might call him 1-2 times while I was out.
As the son of a single mother, I was home alone from about the age of 9 on, especially during the summer. I never managed to burn the house down or break my damn fool neck.
#2 son is 10+ and we now leave him home alone when I go to the grocery store etc. He also now has a key, in case I don’t get home from work in a timely fashion. I wouldn’t let him be home alone for more than 3 hours. He knows how to work the stove and oven (but prefers the microwave). He knows how to call 911 and also his parents’ cells and his grandparents’ phone. He also knows not to answer the door when he’s home alone. We have great neighbors who he can go to as well. We infantilize kids so much these days–and not to their benefit, IMO.
So much of this depends on the kid. There are 17 year olds I wouldn’t leave alone for 5 minutes and some 8 year olds who could responsibly and reliably be left home alone all day and be fine…
See how he does with short trips, then increase the time away. Mind you, if you start packing for a weekend, I’d be a bit :dubious: . 
My youngest is almost 10 and I’ve been letting him stay alone after school since it started a couple weeks ago. I’ve really stressed out about it but this thread is making me feel better. Make a list of rules and what activities he can do to pass the time. Also, depending on your neighborhood, you may want to speak to at least your immediate neighbors and have people willing and able to help him out if needed. We have a little “Neighborhood Watch Nathan” going on here on my street and it makes me feel better and him, too.
It’s a bit easier for a kid to be good when home alone if none of his friends know he’s home alone. So not notifying friends was one of my rules.
Well he was home this afternoon and the house is still intact. The main rule I set is ‘I expect to see a significant portion of your homework done by the time I get home.’
He said it felt weird to be home alone, but it was OK.
11 is way old enough, IMHO. My brother and I were home alone most Friday and Saturday nights from when he was 10 and I was 8 (my parents worked in a bar or else went out). There was never a problem, and we had a phone number to call if there was. Sitting a kid down and doing the big serious ‘This is very important and I trust you’ talk works wonders I think.
Glad to hear it went OK.
Sure, not a problem, provided he can call you and/or a trusted local relative or neighbor at any time in case of trouble.
My oldest is almost ten, his sister is a year younger. They’ve been staying home for brief periods of time for over a year. Last year they were home for about an hour each day until we got home. The neighbors are home. They’ve stayed home while we’ve run to Target for longer.
I was babysitting my own siblings by nine and other people’s kids at eleven.
At age 11, I wouldn’t be left alone in the house. I was left in charge of my brothers, who at the time were 3 and 5yo. We all reached adulthood without major problems. This would involve giving them dinner and putting them to bed, in the most extreme cases.
The world has changed to a somewhat depressing point. Had internet existed when I was a kid, a concerned mother would probably have asked : “Can I let my 11 yo alone at home for 24h?”, or something similar. Even though I know parents have a completely different attitude, I wouldn’t have believed that nowadays people would be concerned about a kid staying alone for…what…45 minutes??? 45 minutes??? A 4 yo? No, an 11 yo. An 11 yo??? 45 minutes???
It’s not a criticism of the OP. I know, things aren’t the same and all that. It’s just that I’m completely baffled and a little depressed.
Am I that old? 
We both are.
- fessie, latchkey kid at 9
Make that 3 of us oldtimers…
But we’re doing our best here to buck the trend – we have 11 YO twins, either one of them can and does stay at home, alone, for many hours if they are so inclined – and we even go as far as letting them walk to the pool* alone***!!! :shock: :horror: :eek: (or to the mall… or to a friend’s house…)
I’m not even mentioning the fact that they can use the microwave on their own, and of course they know both of our cell numbers all too well… 
(and have their own cells and their own keys at this point.)
Just yesterday we let them take a public bus for the first time without supervision. They made it home in one piece.
In general, we’re all about gradually making them become independent.
Granted, I’m not in the US, so YMMV and probably does.