Well don’t be too harsh on yourself. Anyone who says you were in the wrong wasn’t there now were they? I’m big and ugly and generally don’t put up with peoples assholish bullshit but I wouldn’t start anything without properly assesing the situation first. Going off half cocked can get you beat down like a dog and at worst killed.(I’ve been thrashed so many times) Smart mouth punk kids that I used to get real close too and sweat I now look twice before acting. So many kids carry guns and knives these days and a gun moreso than a knife will leave your family and friends grieving for you over nothing but a few harsh words. I have a wife and family (no children) that I love dearly and while I would intervene in a situation of voilence towards innocent people, even then it’s best to try to get the big picture before doing anything other than diffusing the situation.
“These are not the droids you are looking for. They can go.”
Perfect lighthearted youtube accompaniment to this thread:
I use the Ice Queen Glare. Quietly from the sidelines if the yahoo in question is only being annoying, but I have been known to step in front of people and ask what they think they are doing to defuse worse situations. It helps that I have developed both the Everybody’s Mother Voice – the one your mother used to use on you to stop you in your tracks – and an uncanny knack for finding out people’s middle names. My friends inform me that I am very, very scary.
Strangely, I think it helps that I’m a smallish young lady. By the time I sound mad enough to chew horseshoes and spit nails, they figure I either know how to kill them with my little fingers, or I am insane enough to do it through sheer fury.
Must be a sign of the times, but I’m most certain that my coworker had your friend behind him a couple of weeks ago on his way home from Europe.
They were at the gate in Frankfurt. The guy was sitting there, listening to an iPod, and kicking my friend’s seat in time with the music. When politely asked to stop, the guy flipped him off. A little while later while my friend was still moving about the plane, getting his bags put away, the guy made some extremely rude and offensive comment to him.
My friend found a flight attendant and complained, and within minutes a couple of large fellows came up to the jerk and said “Sir, get your things. You are going to have to leave.”
That’s the last anyone saw of the guy.
For all I know they could have just held him for the next flight, but I like to imagine him in some darkened interrogation room with the German police explaining to him how he needs to treat others nicer.
While not young, I am small, and I have this down pat, too. I will get right into someone’s face*. It appears to be obvious that I can’t take them physically, so the assumption seems to be that I either know some deadly trick, or I am batshit crazy and therefore dangerous. Plus being this small makes pretty much anyone who would think about getting physical with me look REALLY stupid, which was used to good advantage when I was tending bar - I was often sent to break up fights because all but the most oblivious drunks would realize that hitting a tiny woman in public would not be a good idea.
(*I am not, however, stupid. I am pretty good at separating general loutishness from an actual threat. If I thought someone might actually get physical, I go find a grownup and tattle.)