I gotta have one of those.
The possibilities for Personal Grooming alone…
Well I’ll be damned.
Home Depot never seems to have these in stock.
Try Futuristic Weapons R Us. ™
They give a discount if you buy by the case.
I suppose now is the perfect time to start investing in new “Sewing People’s Faces Back On” technologies.
Always exciting to get in on the ground floor with something like this…
Do not deal with these people! Their light sabers are assembled in third world worlds by non certified Jedi (those who were banished from the Jedi order). The Kyber Crystals are fakes and none of them are as rigorously tested as the genuine Jedi models. Buyer beware!
I had a friend that bought one of these a while back. Six weeks later…
BAM! Herpes.
Oh come on. I read about the Ewok doll manufactured with the “help me, I am being used as slave labor” hologram inside it. It’s an urban legend.
There is nothing honorable about picking your nose with a single ended lightsabre!
Wow…My paternal grandfather’s final words to me…VERBATIM!
Weird.
Oh, yeah! A light saber would go perfectly as a side arm when I’m wielding my 1920’s style death ray. It’ll be nice to have something that’s a little easier to use at a range of less than 500 yards.
I especially love the woman fending off the mugger with the tire iron.
I don’t think that gonna help ya, bub.
Only what you see on the shelf buddy.
Or better yet, how about a 1920s style death ray that IS a giant lightsaber? Set it up a mile outside of a city and just turn it back and forth, leveling the town. I mean, how COOL is that? I’ll tell you: too cool.
Anyone wanna buy some lightsabers?
Real cheap. As good as the original thing!
Don’t pay full price for those, mine are guaranteed to work.
Coruscant lightsabers, Tatooine lightsabers, all made in Taiwan. Same parts, different branding. Buy from me!
Anyone wanna buy some lightsabers?
Lightsabers on sale!
Paulie, is that you?
But that’s what 1920’s style death rays do anyway? It would alsso be nice to have some Mandalorian Blasters, and star ships, preferably a fleet of cruisers and destroyers, with a few fighters to back them up. And an enormous army of fanaticly loyal troops, who would be willing to do to any lengths to…
:: walks away ranting to himself ::
An elegant weapon from a more civilised age, as the man said, shortly before hacking some drunk’s arm off in a bar.
How is it this never occured to me before?
You know, my cup of coffee is getting a little cold. I really wish I had a lighsabre to reheat it with. It would save me the 30 seconds it would take to get a new cup. Our modern time cruched world can’t exist without lightsabres.