There some emotional satisfaction in knowing that some of the stuff will be reused, though. We delayed selling the house for dumb reasons, unrelated to selling the stuff. So it didn’t cost us rent to sell the better possessions. I guess that’s important, too.
But i took all her coats and gave them to the red cross. I sold my dad’s bowtie collection and some other odds and ends to a guy who owns a used clothing shop. The nicer paintings and jewelry went to auction (that took a while, but they left the house immediately.) We got a couple grand at auction just for a set of silverware none of us wanted. It was ugly, and the handles were so heavy the pieces didn’t sit nicely on a plate. But it was a lot of silver, and a very complete set, and sold for twice the value of its bullion weight. We gave the more popular books to the library. We actually sold some of the furniture…
And yes, i paid a guy nearly two grand to get rid of everything else. I assume most of the rest went into a dumpster.
I think (and I’m pretty sure I’ve written this before) a lot depends on the specifics of the move. For example, if I live long enough that I have to move, I won’t be moving from a four bedroom , 2500 sq foot suburban house with an acre of land. I’ll be moving from a 1200 sq ft house on a 20x100 lot in a city. That’s not very different from an apartment. I’ll be moving from one urban environment to another urban environment because I will either stay in my neighborhood or move near my daughter ( who lives about 20 miles away).
And it’s unlikely that I will wait until I absolutely need to move - what’s probably going to drive any move is snow shoveling and lawn mowing. Which we will be almost certainly be sick of before stairs are an issue.
Almost certainly true. When my wife’s mother died as a widow, my wife’s sister insisted on holding three (I think) yard sales to “clear out the house”.
Probably netted perhaps a few hundred dollars in all. But the sister is one of those penny wise pound foolish people who think it’s important to “get what it’s worth” for everything.
Though she also likes to browse junk sales herself, so it’s a sort of hobby, I suppose..
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We moved into our current home about 13 years ago when both aged about 50. We bought a split level. Only after I shattered my ankle did I realize there was no single level with a bed, kitchen and bath. If I knew then what I know now, we woulda bought a ranch. Even if we bought one with a basement, we could eventually move the laundry to the main level and ignore the basement.
Now, I wonder when/if the stairs will be too much for me. A REALLY old and decrepit couple live across the street in a very similar split-level. If THEY are able to somehow figure things out, I guess it can be done - at least for another decade or so.
We COULD look to move now, into a ranch, but I’m thinking that would be a costly hassle. Until we absolutely HAVE to, we wish to stay in a separate home. I’m thinking I’ll try to stay here until we NEED to move into a condo/apartment - rather than adding in an interim move to a ranch. Both in our home and in an apartment, we’ll make increasing use of lawn/snow services, Uber, food delivery, etc. In recent months another neighbor across the street had a stroke and has had a bunch of mobility gear installed in his split-level. I could imagine that if my wife or I experience an event like that - with a long and uncertain rehab - that might trigger our move into a condo/apartment.
We’ve made an ongoing effort over the years to pare things down. I know we will eventually have excess furniture. Will be a shame to see that no one wants several rooms of Stickley furniture that we spent 10s of thousands on, but those are sunk costs. We DID make a list for our kids of possessions which MIGHT have some value - such as a rug that might be worth reselling rather than donating.
We’ve been very up front with our 3 kids about our intentions and have tried to plan things out as well as we can. Have asked them if there are any things at all that they want. They each gave us a list. But when we die/move, I expect it will just be up to our 1 kid who lives local and the 2 who live away to decide what they want - if anything - and figure how to get it to their homes. And how to get rid of the rest.
I wonder. I could imagine asking my kid who lives the closest if they wanted to try to resell stuff if she could keep the proceeds. Might be a way to “recycle” the stuff and help her out as well. For me, messing with sales services is not worth the potential payoff. If I’m having to move into a smaller place because I’m getting that decrepit, I hope that I realize that my old stuff is simply that - stuff. And if my kids don’t want it, I really don’t care what happens to it. Would be nice if I could donate it to someone who would haul it away. If not, I’ll just pay whatever it takes to have it disappear.
Maybe in a really crappy mass auction situation, but if “2 or 3 cents on the dollar” was anything approaching general reality (when dealing with nearly unused quality stuff, not smelly clothing and chipped kitchenware) there would be no second hand sales of much anything, when in fact it’s a huge, and growing business.
I deal with used quality stuff on a regular basis, and do well selling it at around 50 - 60% off current retail price. So, 55 cents on the dollar is more like it.
My father is 93, in a wheelchair, declining and under the care of a home hospice agency. Meanwhile my mother is 88 but still ambulatory though her driving is terrifying. They are still in the one story ranch home they bought in 1970. It’s full of stuff like multiple sets of bone china and ceramic figurines. My mother keeps saying it’s all expensive stuff not accepting that no one wants it anymore. I moved in a few months ago to help out but am on the way for a two week business trip. So today a live in home health aide is starting. Having a stranger in the house is a big adjustment for both of my parents.
And actually I like Stickley furniture. I looked into getting a few pieces but even something like a two drawer file cabinet would cost a couple thousand dollars. So I hope you can sell it for something,
This is what my mother did to me. My father and stepmother look to repeat the irresponsible behavior as well at some point in the nearish future. It’s exactly the situation I’m trying to avoid for whoever ends up handling my transitions. It will likely be a close friend, so I’m trying to make it as easy on them as possible.
I bought one. To interface with my Borg devices.
It was very difficult to get set just right.
And yes my cel service is crap out here in the boonies.
All you have to do burp loudly and internet cuts out.
Mostly I didn’t like wearing it.
I have too much attached to me now. And they work together with CGM.
As with everything, try before you buy.
Somehow.
Starlink is the bomb. My son has it.
We too have too much timber, here. No clear sky.
Starlink Direct-to-Cell is a slightly different service than their standard internet service. It enables messaging (and eventually data) on any LTE phone. It does need line of sight, but for emergency or messaging use it only needs fairly minimal visibility to the sky. As soon as a satellite goes overhead the messages will be sent/received. The dropout rate (with poor sky visibility) would be unacceptable for a normal internet connection, but in this case you just need a signal to get through occasionally.
It’s still in beta and it wouldn’t replace your existing connection. But if you want a backup option or you’re sometimes far enough out that you can’t connect to your home Wi-Fi, it might be worth looking into. At least once it comes out of beta (probably by the end of the year).
As we downsize we found an organization to give furniture and housewares. They provide our discards to people that have been homeless and have gotten a place. It is not a 501c(3), but we have faith the stuff will be used. Dats enuff!
You’re right, but it’s hard enough to see her things being sold, so to throw it all away - I don’t think we could do it. I think part of the reason is, she’s still alive and I know she’s still thinking and wondering about some of those things. We’re all too sentimental I guess.
When I was stuck with the task of emptying my parents large and very full house, I sent the bulk of the belongings to an estate auction house. Not because I expected to get any substantial payment for the high-end but dated furnishings, but because the auction house sent their own crew and trucks to take it all away as part of the service. Their free labor made the paltry payoff one of the best deals I’ve ever gotten.
After my father died my mother, who had during my childhood got her degree from the Art Institute and sold some of her own work at a local art fair, became a hoarder. The house our family of seven grew up in, and several storage lockers, were filled in a manner that made me react to the show Hoarders with “you call that hoarding?”
Problem was she had a good eye. No Van Goughs but little vases buried in the mass that sold for over $10K at auction, and a variety of other valuable stuff, artwork and other, mixed in with literal garbage and Barbies waiting for the collectible market to turn back around.
My sister in law led the effort with me assisting, especially on research, when I could. But it was a long long process.
My kids will get off easy. Most of the crap stored in our house is theirs.
I wish that had been an option for us. Here in SoFL, land of the dead and the soon-to-die, there’s so much of this kind of stuff that auction houses aren’t a thing.
I know older folks who’re living in their big old house entirely to keep their kid’s collection of crap that fills their basement undisturbed. They want to move and downsize, but can’t get the kids to fix a problem that’s no skin off their nose. And the parents (well, the Moms actually) can’t bring themselves to tough-love their way out of living unlike they want to by issuing a time-limited ultimatum then calling a disposal service.
I think a hard truth for a lot of people is the simple fact that nobody wants your stuff. There might be a few items your kids or other relatives want for sentimental reasons or because they share similar interests or tastes, but for the most part your things are a burden to whoever has to deal with them after you’re gone.
Mrs. Odesio comes from a family of, well, hoarders might be a little too much, there are no dead animals crushed beneath mounds of garbage in their home, but they’re definitely packrats. They grew up poor and they just don’t throw things out that might be useful later. Her aunt died not too long ago and it fell to Mrs. Odesio to clear the place out. Fortunately she was able to find someone to clear the whole place out for only $300. The man who did it owns a flea market and was willing to clear the place out and sell the junk.
My mother-in-law has not only a house filled to the brim with stuff but also a rather large building on the back of the property filled to the brim with stuff. A few years ago, we got to talking about the stuff in the basement, and she said something about getting rid of it, and I tried to gently nudge her, but to no avail. It’s just hard for her to get rid of stuff.
I’m fast approaching 50 and Mrs. Odesio and I have discussed what we’re going to do. We have no kids, so my niece will inherit everything, but we’ve got to figure out what to do with our stuff so as not to burden anyone. I’m sure there are some things my niece might want, or her kids if she has any, but most of it is likely to be tossed or given to a charity.
Setting aside the people who have the genuine mental illness of hoarding with the stacks of rotting food and 12 year old newspapers and …
IMO …
The era dying now and the past 20 years are Depression children, many of whom cannot part with a random used rubber band without pangs of regret.
The next gen just now taking over the bulk of the dying from those earlier folks are us, who are the children of Depression babies. We were taught as kids to treasure random used rubber bands. Some of us still suffer badly from that affliction. Most have (mostly) tossed off the yoke of pointless “keep it just in case” or “it’s still good”. Mostly.
But even those of us who’ve fully escaped the “just in case” yoke still have, or will have, a hard time trashing our parents’ useless undesired random stuff. Not because we think the rubber bands are important to us. But because we know they were important to late Mom / Dad.
It’s a generational struggle. It’s damned good bet very, very few of our adult kids will give two shits about anything we own; most will happily dumpsterize the whole kit & kaboodle sight unseen. So if you (any you) do own anything that actually has enduring cash value, best to either sell it while healthy, or make damned sure the kids know that [whatever] is worth lots, not just pocket change. For whatever amount of dollars the idiom “pocket change” means to you / them.
There is a certain amount of exemption for folks near the bottom of the economic food chain. They mostly bought second hand or fourth hand stuff and so most of their possessions could be resold now for a decent fraction of what they paid for them. This is one of the few spots in life where it’s more economically efficient to be poor than well-off. As so often said, usually it’s real expensive to be poor. But living far down the depreciation curve is one way it’s less so.
I don’t know about that - the Depression ended in 1939 or so. Unless I’m doing my math wrong , my mother who was born in 1940 turns 85 this year which means most people who experienced/remember the Depression are either gone or are nearly 100. ( My mother is a hoarder but it has nothing to do with the Depression - it started after my father was out of work for a few years in the 70s. When he finally got a job, she started spending wildly and wouldn’t get rid of anything. Bad combo. )
You’re right. My generational divide was a little too neat and one cycle too late.
Most folks who survive to age 65 make it to 80-something. Call it 85 for simplicity. An 85yo dying this year was born in 1940. So never saw the Depression themselves, but were raised by people who had just escaped it. And at least among Americans, who found that Depression-era shortages were quickly replaced with wartime rationing shortages. So their scrimping and crimping ways were reinforced until about 1945. Then the cornucopia let loose.