The lease is not with him, it’s with the landlord. Are both of your names on it? Call the landlord (not a manager, the Landlord him/herself) and talk through your problem. Chances are good that they have the option to terminate the lease with 60 days’ notice or some such thing.
Either find a new roommate, or let him get one and find a place of your own.
You can’t fix crazy.
We have an odd tradition on this board of having people show up, usually saying they’re young women, with highly personal questions with a few racy details, as their very first post.
I’m not sure you’re going to get the advice you need here.
What? A guy can both be a bully and have unrequited feelings for a girl. I don’t disagree at all with the idea that he’s a bully. I’m not sure I even understand your issue with my post? Who said anything about her falling for him? Certainly not me.
Generally, I’d agree, but this:
and this:
and this:
and let’s go full 80’s romantic thriller, this:
do begin to paint a picture.
Granted, it’s a cropped and enlarged picture, which is why I phrased my answer in the form of a question, but it’s not batshit out of left field.
Get. Out. Of. There.
Call the landlord (maybe from the friend’s place you’re now staying at), but pack up quickly while roomate is at work and get out.
I have a friend where things quickly escalated into dangerous territory, as soon as she talked about moving out.
You suggested he may have a crush on her. Normal mentally stable men do not pull this crap on women they “like.” Normal mentally stable men do not pull this crap on people they don’t like.
In the same manner that your post was moved from one forum to another, you should do the same. Move out ASAP. Let Douchey McDoucherson have his own place, and you can find someplace else to live. I know, I know … easy to say, many reasons why it is hard to do. The situation you are in is untenable (and, “untenant-able”, but that’s not a word) in the long run.
What in the OP suggests that he’s a normal mentally stable man?
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It’s a huge mess and he sounds like a jackass but in fairness, honestly nothing is more annoying than a roommate who has their SO over all the time and at 2+ times a week for stay overs and however much time you spend hanging out with him in the apartment your BF is being injected into the situation as a regular part of the household. Having a non-paying person staying in the apartment 2 days out of 7 is pushing the envelope pretty hard and you do not seem to realize or accept this as being kind of intrusive and annoying.
If I was in a similar scenario and I’m hosting a roommates BF or GF who did not sign the lease in my apartment 2 days out of 7 on a regular basis that could get very annoying. So you’re a little entitled and clueless about appropriate boundaries and your roommate is being a huge annoying slob/asshole partly out of spite. It sounds less like a crush and more that he’s just obnoxiously super sensitive to sharing his space.
You need to move out ASAP. Talk with him and tell him it’s not working out and you are both miserable. See if you can sublease the space or if you can find a replacement roommate and assign the lease.
Why not move in with the boyfriend?
At any rate, pack your shit and move out without saying a word. Chances are pretty close to zero there will be no repercussions. Landlord won’t care, he still has a renter. What the hell is the asshole roommate gonna do? Take you to court? Not likely.
Move.
When I was in the .mil living in the barracks, one day a new guy moved in the “two man” room. Seemed OK, but he set his alarm clock for something like 3 AM. I figured he had an early show or something. Nope. He then proceeded to hit “snooze” for over 3 hours. Then he did the same thing the next night. So by the third night I figured what the hell. When his alarm went off at three I got up, and started banging around and starting my day. If I can’t sleep, you ain’t either. Problem solved!
Re your comment that your roommate needs to “sign you off” what exactly do you mean? He has no control of your lease obligation that’s between you and the landlord. If you are subleasing from your roommate you should probably just walk. If your agreement is directly with the landlord that’s a different issue. What exactly did you sign and with who did sign it?
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Um, agreed. ? Did I make any sort of suggestion that this guy is mentally stable?
All i can remember about the lease is that in order to get out of it my roommate has to sign me off of the lease. I signed a lease where me and him were both equally responsible for the entire rent. It wasnt a lease between each of us individually amd the landlord. My roommate took the lease when he took my paperwork for the internet company so I havent been able to look over it. My plan was to bring up rhat the living situation is hostile and i do not trust my roommate when I drop off the rent. As well, as ask about the lease and the rules for getting off of it. My boyfriend and I are looking for a place now, but I want to make sure I can get off of this lease first.
I get that, but they never even cross paths when he is here. We live in a duplex that has a lot of space. My boyfriend works early in the morning and leaves at 5am. When he is here we stay in my room and dont go out in the living area and hang out there, usually it’s at night anyways so we are just sleeping. Honestly I think he only knows when my boyfriend is around is by his car being outside. The owner pays for water, so I dont see how that would be an issue. Also my roommate keeps zero food in the kitchen and weve never touched that. It just seems like a personal vendetta to me, I dont see why he gets so upset.
I do leases as part of my job and I can’t make heads or tails of what you are saying here. Normal enforceable leases with two roommates have both roommates and the landlord sign the lease so both roommates have both joint and individual responsibility for the payment of rent. If (per your note) the landlord is not involved it sounds (maybe) like you have some kind a side agreement with him to split the rent that is between the two of you. If the agreement is with him unilaterally and does not involve the landlord’s review or approval it’s enforceability is potentially questionable. It also might be in violation of whatever standard lease he does have with the landlord.
So, this is an update from the original post. I had contacted my landlord and he said he would give my roommate a call to see if he would be willing to sign me off of the lease and take it over. My roommate is rqefusing to sign me off. What do I do? I dont think it is right that I have to pay rent for a place I wont even ve living at anymore. Im planning to move out by June 1st. My roommate has made it completely uncomfortable to even be living in my place and now wont even sign me off the lease, how is that right?
Because, you signed a lease / contract for a given term, and even if the landlord agrees to take you off, you’ve inflicted additional financial burden upon your roommate, in that now he has to make up the difference that you are not paying your share.
He entered into the agreement relying on the fact that you would be contributing to the rent. By breaking the lease, you’ve altered the terms of the arrangement - one that it sounds like he wouldn’t have entered into without you.
Have you given any consideration of offering to sleep with your roommate? That might just end some of your problems.
This isn’t funny. I’d be pretty scared of this guy.
Groved, since it sounds like the landlord isn’t going to help you, I think it might be time for an attorney. Document everything that’s happened, and continue to document it (date, time, what happened). An initial consultation with an attorney shouldn’t cost much if anything. Take a copy of your lease.