ace-You’re probably right. This thread belonged in th Pit anyway. The atitude here when I talk about my parents is not unlike their attitude: I’m not allowed to have a negative feeling about them, because God forbid they upset me.
Your parents may have been total shits for all we know, but there is anger and then there is holyshitOMG anger. You seem to be suffering from the latter. Like unless your Dad ran over you with a car, I’m not sure how you not working is their fault. It sounds like you actually believe they are responsible for every bad thing in your life, and that’s not healthy. I’m saying that as someone who had a really fucked up childhood. At some point I had to say, ‘‘Damn, that sucked,’’ and get on with life.
I don’t remember the whole thing, but there’s a joke that ends with “I meant to say ‘please pass the salt’, but what came out was ‘YOU FUCKING WHORE, YOU RUINED MY LIFE!’”
This. I grew up with narcissistic parents. I’d be lying if I said I don’t kinda blame my mom for some of my dysfunction, but I also have to take responsibility for what happens from here on out. I’m not a child.
I heard something about that once that really stuck with me; she was talking about how your parents did the best they could with what they were working with. No one’s parents (well, except for the children of psychopaths) woke up in the morning and said to themselves, “How can I screw up my child’s life today?” That sort of slammed my less-than-stellar father into perspective - I truly believe he did the best he could, and since he was a flawed human being (just like I am), his best wasn’t perfect, but the intention was never to ruin my life.
