How to Eat

The BBQ Pit
21

You can go out to eat with me sometime… I’m a famously good tipper among my friends. (My bartender friend always asks “Where were YOU when I was working in a restaurant?” I have something I call the $10 rule – I never leave less than $10.00 for the total bill. I rarely order more than soup and a drink, or a salad, but in my view it’s not the waitperson’s fault I’m a light eater. So I always plan to spend $10.00, order $5.00 worth of food, and leave the $10.00. And I don’t leave less than $5.00. So if it was $6.00 I’d leave $11.00. Anyway I’m very popular at the places where I’m a regular.

For the record, if I don’t buy everyone’s food we usually split the cheque, but I still tip what I would if I was eating alone. So the waitstaff usually does pretty well when myself and one or two friends come in. :slight_smile:

I do this partly because I’ve done the job myself and know how depressing it can be, because I’m usually remembered if I become a regular somewhere and it gets me better service, and also because once I went out to eat at a restaurant and got to talking with the waiter about my website. He IMed me later that night and mentioned that no one had wanted to take my table when I came in because of my age, and that teenagers were almost always crappy tippers. I felt really bad about that. I guess I’m just trying to compensate for all the clueless jerk’s my age wandering around out there.

I went out for dinner once with a complete waste of flesh who justified giving the waitress a 5% tip because she accidentally gave him wheat toast instead of white or something idiotic like that. Needless to say I went back and gave her a bit more money and apologized for his behaviour when I realized what he was doing. :rolleyes:

So yeah, there are a lot of shitty younger restaurant patrons, but there are a few of us with some class trying to make up for it. :frowning:

22

I’m with belladonna on this one. I don’t see why one person should be held responsible for someone else’s dinner bill. If you know you can afford to have an entree, go for it. You shouldn’t have to worry about paying for what someone else ordered.

23

I generally go for the method of passing the check around and everyone tossing in what they owe when it gets to them (or before if they know). Then again, this is usually with a group where we all order vastly different stuff, at least a few are likely to have only enough cash to cover a small meal, and where no one has a problem with loaning a buck or two if someone’s a little short.

24

You probably shouldn’t watch the introduction to Reservoir Dogs before going out either.

25

Sure they should. Especially this part:

It’s an easy solution to a group dining situation.
On a tangent to that, may I just say that manhattan is a splendiferous tipper. Hands down the best I’ve ever seen. I’m pretty sure he calculates what he has to pay for dinner as a percentage of the tip, not the other way around.

26

What usually goes down with me – and with my friends too, we’re all decent at math, is as follows:

Let’s see, I ordered this meal, which was $6.25, drink was about $1.50, the three of us split a $4 order of fries, say that’s another $1.50 for me, total is $9.25, here’s $12 or $13, whatever’s extra is tip.

We round up the numbers, do the math in our head (or on a napkin if things are tighter), then add whatever’s convenient and/or appropriate for a tip. It’s not that hard.

27

Anyone who’s been to a dinner at a Dopefest with me knows I have zero tolerance for the calculations. I’m with gatopescado, and luckily Dopers seem to qualify. :slight_smile:

My weekly gaming group is a wonderful example. After we pay the delivery guy, we stare at the pile of extra money, trying to decide how to redistribute it (and the delivery people love us because we tip so heavily).

28

Usually, I have no trouble just spliting the cheque evenly among all the dinner guests.

However, I have one friend that insists on going out to dinner with me. This friend has inherited in excess of $3 million dollars. Money is no object for her. Unfortunatly, I have not inherited any amount of $$, and, in fact, currently have 5 jobs, as well as picking up extra work in my spare time (NO, I am not exagerating).

When we go out to dinner, she orders $150 dollar bottles of wine, which I don’t drink, and then expects me to pay for half of them.

Sorry - I don’t think so. I’m not blowing my entire entertainment budget for the month so she can shwank back an entire bottle of whatever.

29

I can’t understand why it’s considered rude if I don’t want to pay for your meal! This idea that if you are in a lower income bracket, that’s tough shit, you should stay home and eat Rice-a-Roni while your friends all go out on the town, is baloney. I know of some who like to enjoy a night out, but can’t afford the 32 oz. prime rib, so they order the 8 oz sirloin. Why should they have to pay for part of yours?? Just because they can only afford to spend $15 instead of $30 doesn’t make them cheap or less worthy to have a night out with friends. It seems rude to me for someone to order a huge entree, knowing that their dinner companions are less able to afford such and then expect them to cough up extra for THEIR meal–that’s akin to inviting yourself to their house for dinner! It’s been stated here that if 10 bucks is gonna break you then you shouldn’t be going out at all–or just be satisfied with McDonald’s. That is nonsense. Even the less fortunate have a right to go to a nicer restaurant and not have to go broke paying for someone else’s food. When they strive to stay within their budget, what gives others the right to demand that they supply extra so that they themselves can eat bigger meals a little more cheaply? THAT is what is rude–not someone trying to stay within their means. See, if you don’t want to pay for the Maine lobster–don’t order it! Not fair to order it knowing that you are going to stiff the rest of the party for it.

I am not talking here, of course, about rounding the figures up. That just makes things easier all around, and the little extra can be added to the tip. no problem. But it is patently UNfair to order high when someone else needs to order a bit lower and then call his manners into question when he protests.

30

Let me just pipe in on the separate check thing - don’t do that to your server. Really. Because here’s what will happen (I’m going to use the feminine pronoun here): Your waitress will stand there juggling checks and making notes on special orders, so when she’s taking the order of the person two seats away from you and you smack yourself in the head and say, “Oh, man - you guys have Bleu Cheese dressing? Can you change my order real quick?” she’s going to have to stop, look for the correct check, make her notes, then go back to the next person. And, since normally she will have first taken a drink order, she is going to have to match up 11 drinks with 11 dinners on 11 pieces of paper. And you just know that there’s going to be three of you eleven who decide to share an order of chicken wings, while the other seven want to split an order of onion rings. THEN, assuming she’s gotten this all straight so far, she is going to either enter your individual orders into a computer/register/terminal - in which case the other servers using other terminals will be putting their orders in at roughly the same time, and the kitchen will receive three orders from your table, one from server B, two from Server C, two more from your table, etc. and so on; OR she will deliver eleven soft copies to the kitchen staff, who will give her a collective dirty look. If the restaurant is computerized, the kitchen will cook the food in the order that they receive the tickets, and, if the restaurant is any good, the kitchen staff will then insist that the server get the food out of the window so the customer receives it HOT; if the restaurant isn’t that great, they want her to at least get it out of the window so they can fit other orders up there. In the former situation, some of you will be finished with your dinner before the others get theirs - in the latter situation, you’re all going to be eating cold food. Now, even assuming there have been no screw-ups to this point, you have of course realized that your server has spent so much time with paperwork and juggling for your table of eleven that the other tables in her station are getting the short shrift - which means your tip better be a good one, because she’s losing money here. After dinner, some of you will want dessert and coffee - and we’re back to playing the match game.

If the restaurant is not computerized, and there are soft copy checks, please be aware that the server must, at the end of her shift, match up hard copies and soft copies, and she will be charged for either of them going missing - this is how restaurants keep track, and if she’s got eleven separate checks for one table, you’ve just about doubled her work for her.

So, just DON’T. It doesn’t matter to your server whether you split the check evenly or bring a calulator, but just don’t do the separate check thing. She is almost assuredly not making enough money to make THAT worth her while.

31

I have simplified it into one simple set of rules.

Do: Find a group of good friends that know when the check comes you all throw in more then the appropriate amount and you end up with a 30-100% tip without anybody caring.

Don’t: Bother going out with assholes who will make check paying into a chore, and sure as hell don’t go out with them more than once.

32

I joked about doing this in my previous post, and I agree that it is unfair (and maybe even downright mean). Generally, if I go out with a very large group like that described in the OP, it’s to a fairly casual restaurant - pizza or burgers. Most of the entrees are around the same price. Most of my friends will be having beer (not wine or mixed drinks). So if there is a difference between what people owe, it’s not going to be massive. It’s going to be a few dollars. I know that sometimes I come out behind, but to me, that’s the price of a fun evening out with a big group of pals.

I have another personal “rule” for dining out that can apply in these situations: I make sure that I have enough cash to order anything I want on the menu. That includes appetizers, drinks, and dessert. If I have $30, pizza and beer is a good choice, but Chez le Ripoff is not. If I only have $10, I’m sticking with Taco Bell. Or just meeting my friends for drinks, not dinner. I don’t try to impose this rule on other people, but my own dining experience is much more enjoyable when I don’t have to worry about whether I can only afford the pasta.

33

oh, that’s a Do.

My favorite thing was picking up the whole check now and then when I was rolling in it, especially when a few in the party were a bit financially stressed. It was — nice. I also love to have people over for BBQ and Beer. Must be my inner hostess. :rolleyes:

34

I always try to make some effort to order food that doesn’t cost significantly more or less than average. If the rest of the table is ordering chicken broth, I’m not going asking for the Sasquatch steak grilled over moon rocks or the endangered species kabobs with a side of Tasmanian devil pate.

35

I don’t drink, so it IS that extreme for me every time I go out with friends. When diners A and B each drink three $4 beers and diners C and D each order a couple mixed drinks at $5 or $6 a pop, that adds up very quickly.
Just that amount of drinks equals another $9.20 added to my bill. I’m not going to be on the receiving end of any “rounds on me” situations, so why should I be expected to consistently be on the giving end?
That sucks, frankly, and means that even when I can afford to splurge on a steak I really can’t, because that extra ten has to go toward everyone else’s drinks. And I have no problem splitting up the check. We all graduated third grade, right? How hard is it to figure 7 bucks for an entree, round up for tax and tip, and hand over a ten?

bella

36

I agree, it is unfair, but the very nature of friendship is generally uneven in particular situations.
Sometimes you pay for your mates, sometimes they pay for you. It’ll work out even in the long run, given enough dinners out.

Sometimes you have a starter, dessert, the fancy steak and a pile of drinks. When the cheque is split they you are probably up.
On another occasion you get caught for a £40 split when all you had was a glass of water and a salad. That’s life, that’s friendship, that’s eating out.

Sometimes you’re up, other times you’re down. As the OP states, the worst thing to do is moan and complain about your share.

37

Hear! Hear!!

I’m fine with splitting up the check, as long as you pay your fair share (including tip, where applicable!), or I’m fine with just dividing the check regardless of who had what…

But if you’re going to be an asshole and FUCKING HASSLE all your friends, the waitstaff, the manager, and anyone else within hearing over $5, be prepared to dine without my company next time…

I had a co-worker a few years ago who argued with a waiter for a half an hour over the number of beers we had been served. I never went out with him again! (was he right about the number? Hell if I know! The dispute was about ONE beer. Our group of 8 or so had had maybe 50 or 60 beers over the course of the evening… he didn’t know for sure, either, and it WAS NOT worth arguing about! The difference to stingy co-worker? 40 or 50 cents…)

One of my pet peeves… :wink:

38

These “rules” certainly apply when I am going out with a group of my close friends. We go out very often, and certainly hate to nickel and dime each other. I don’t mind throwing in a little extra this week, and if I happen to be a tad short, my friends pick up the balance next week. This week I buy the beer, next week I don’t. No one cares, we all have a good time, and I am sure you are all very proud of me.

However, the rules rather change when I’m going out in larger groups or with people who aren’t actually my good friends. Perhaps I can’t count on them to pick up next week’s tab. Perhaps I probably won’t care to see them again for some time. Perhaps I just wanted to go out for a light meal and a little bit of company but am not terribly committed to the group.

I feel no need to subsidize the eating and drinking habits of people who aren’t my close friends, and to be honest, I resent the implication that I should, especially if the event is open invitational.

When I go out, I like to have a beer. So do my friends. In larger groups, often people like to have two beers. Three. Four. Often they slam cocktails. Suffice to say that I do not particularly respect the behavior of such people when under the influence; thus I am certainly not going to bankroll it.

If this means that courtesy obliges me to decline invitations to large gatherings of groups of acquaintances, well, I guess it’s my loss then.

39

I second the bit about the seperate checks for 11 people. It’s hell on a server. NEVER and I mean NEVER request more than 2 checks. Most resteraunts I’ve worked in had a rule against customers doing that anyway.

And while I hate when people bust out their calculators, I agree that someone shouldn’t be expected to subsidize anothers huge meal if they themselves didn’t indulge in one.

My coworkers and I vary in pay significantly. We always go to this hoity toity resteraunt when it’s someone’s birthday. I’m vegan, so I don’t usually partake in appetizers and I don’t order wine or anything when it’s a work thing. We don’t have the choice about attending these things.

There are a few coworkers I can’t STAND who make quite a bit more than me and order accordingly. Then they always insist we divide the check by the number of diners (excluding whoevers birthday it happens to be). I don’t wanna be the “whiner” so I always oblige, then don’t eat out or get coffee for the rest of the week because I was forced to subsidize someone who I am not particularly fond of’s extravagant meal. They are not my friend, and I’m already paying extra to cover the birthday boy/girls meal. How is that fair?

A few of us on the lower end of the payscale usually get together before hand and figure out who has more money at that point in the month and help each other out, which of course, makes us feel like poor shmucks.

Goes to show, it’s usually the people that HAVE money that think it’s “no big deal.”

40

Put it this way: you’ve just had a wonderful three-hour repast with seven delightful people. Delicious food and sparkling conversation was enjoyed by all. You’re contemplating how great life is over the last of your coffee when the check shows up.*

If one or a few members of the party then spend ten minutes hassling everyone else about “what did you order? How many glasses of wine did you have? Did you eat any of the appetizer?” just so they can calculate everybody’s fair share down to the last nickel, it destroys the evening for the rest of us. We all had a nice buzz going and some chump just wrecked it for the sake of a few bucks. It’s worth a little extra to me to not have my evening’s entertainment spoiled.

Yes, it’s a few bucks. As noted earlier, if you are not as well-heeled as your friends, are a vegetarian, hate fish, or are currently suffering from a stomach flu or intestinal parasites, you should make alternate dining or paying arrangements with your friends beforehand. They will understand. The object of going out is for everyone to have a good time, not for some to live large on the backs of their buddies. Sheesh.

  • This assumes a single bill. If a party wants separate checks and it’s not a hardship on the staff, by all means do that. But I’d suggest kicking in a little extra to cover the waitperson’s extra effort.