NinjaChick, Topaz, ju’iblex, Merla, and any other young female folk on the SDMB: I wish you guys the best.
I feel as though any offer of sympathy, emapthy, or concern for a female poster (young, middle-age, old, or otherwise) will be interpreted as a veiled come-on. Am I totally nuts? If I offer MA advice to NinjaChick, coolness tips to Topaz, life advice to ju’iblex, or Alex Mack comments to Merla, will I automatically be perceived as quasi-anonymous pervert looking to advance a career in serial killing?
Seeking your thoughts,
js_(I swear I’m not a perv)_africanus
I’m unfamiliar with the advice you’re posting, so is there something specific to let us know where your fears are coming from? Have any female posters expressed offense to you?
Nope. Just a feeling I get. It’s like I’ve internalized the every-man-is-a-rapist shtick.
I personally don’t think any guy offering advice to me is trying to get in my pants, but I am notoriously oblivious to guys trying to get in my pants. Also, I’m middle-aged. I am female, though.
Advice preceded by “If I may offer an insight form the middle-aged male perspective,” or something to that effect, will likely be taken in the spirit in which it is given. There is no reason to anticipate that your intentions will be misinterpreted.
However, I would suggest that habitually introducing one’s contributions with “Honestly, I’m not trying to get in your pants, but…” is likely to render the opposite effect. (Methinks the gentleman doth protest too much.)
If your posts have the exact same tone they would when you offer advice to a male poster, why in the world would anyone interpret it as a come-on? Some women may be conceited enough to think every man who’s civil to them wants in their pants, but I’d say those are few and far between.
Besides, even if people did think you were coming on to them, it would probably be dismissed as just more of the jokey flirtatious stuff that abounds in IMHO and MPSIMS.