I’m posting this in the pit because I want this thread to be “no holds barred”.
Here’san example. Only five posts in and some one has to get snarky.
You know, I see women on here asking for all kinds of advice regarding romance. And people hardly ever get snarky when they ask. So my question is: Why do folks get so snarky when a guy asks for advice? The paradigm return advice always seems to be: “Oh, yhou need to be more confident.” “Grow up! Little boy!” “Leave her alone and let her be with a real man!” I mean seriously, do you think that kind of advice really helps?
It’s a little fucked up if you ask me. Not something I’d expect from a messege board such as this.
I can give more examples if you wish. But hopefully, you people know what I’m talking about.
Conspiracy. Everyone on this message board hates men and thinks they are just the worst. It’s not because you’re exaggerating or selectively remembering, or because you’re more sensitive to criticism when it’s directed at you or someone you identify with.
Probably poor articulation on my part, but my main concern was that I didn’t want to give her the idea that I was getting all “goo goo” after her. As she already told me her previous FWB did.
There is an easy answer, and I speak for all men who remember the Kennedy Administration. We get all snaky and smart-ass when asked for advice on matters of the heart and the wooing of women because we have no idea what we are taking about and feel an obligation to hide our ignorance in order to maintain some level of self respect. Any of us who have had a successful relationship – that is, long term, affectionate and mutually supportive – can only attribute it pure blind luck and a companion with great patients and tolerance for clulessness.
You can’t seriously have thought you were going to get any real help.
So did you open this so more people could witness your humble brag?
Weak pitting. If you think the linked example was over the line, the internet’s going to destroy you. And if you’re shocked that a FWB at some point wants something more, you’ve got pretty naive and immature views on how intimacy works, as well.
One other thing that monkey wrenches this situation is that, as much as you may want to define the rules of the relationship, a woman’s point of view will always challenge them. (I’m trying not to draw some fire to myself here while implying that women have a more emotional attitude about any relationship)
So, you never know what a woman wants to emotionally invest in any relationship. You scratched her sex inch yesterday but she may want her romance itch scratched today. Tomorrow you are still not her boyfriend but tonight you better damn well act like it.
So take it from me, a guy who understands women completely and lies profusely about that accomplishment - you were stupid to bring up the subject in the first place and now you’ve made it worse by taking it to the Pit.
Right, I see the problem. You accidentally posted this to the Straight Dope Message Board. I think you meant to post it on the Super Nice Non Judgmental Romantic Advice Message Board. It’s an understandable mistake. They both use the same vBulletin format.
You have a FWB, by circumstance, you end up doing some smooching, sharing a casual dinner, she borrows your shower, and this is enough to freak you out?
“Do you have this issue with your FWB?” is the question you asked but, have what? The Heeby Jeebies because, instead of just fucking, we shared a casual dinner and some ‘friendly’ intimacy instead?
You seriously can’t see why anyone would see this as just bragging rather, than an in earnest question? And one crack, and you’re upset about that too?
You’re kind of being over sensitive, if you ask me. If you were a woman someone would have accused you of being on your period by now, consider yourself lucky, I say!
I didn’t find the linked thread particularly snarky. Most responses looked sincere. If you are going to get bent out of shape over the 1 in 10 posts that come from an asshole*, then you should really cut down on the internetting.
*And I’m not even sure which post set you off, honestly. I’m guessing its the braggart comment, but that isn’t all that bad.
