SCAdian, no kids but around enough people who have them.
I’d say let your kids have their fun. They’ll find their own niches regardless of what you try. If they want to continue in the SCA, they’ll also find a niches there regardless of how your ex is at events.
I don’t find the “Highness” comment odd because they are royalty…in the SCA of course. I’m sure your son truly does know the difference but isn’t separating real vs events. Hopefully he can because as ex-royalty, it’s pretty odd to meet SCAdians mundanely who bow to you and call you by your title. (I don’t mind being called by my SCA name though. )
Maybe so. I’ve very occasionally encountered SCA “royalty” that wanted to use their titles outside of weekend events. I tend not to use titles even at events; outside of those, the “royal” couple is just, say, Connor and Beatrice, or, if I know their real names, Bill and Margie.
My off-the-cuff opinion is that people who get lost in the SCA are like people who get lost in any other group endeavor (and here I’m speaking specifically of social activities, not solo arts and crafts) be it a Shakespearean troupe, a sports team, or an online message board. That is, they find validation there that they do not get outside the activity, and therefore feel more rewarded in their hobby than outside it.
The solution as I see it is to make sure the kids not only participate in outside activities, but to make sure that they get validation from same. Success, praise, acknowledgement of peers, some sort of ego-stroke for doing non-SCA social activities. But kids can tell false praise, so I’d try to actually help them find something rewarding that they do well. Understanding your kids’ strengths and helping them find something they’re good at is rewarding to the whole family in its own way, of course.
Once they have found a few things that they do well and love to do, I think the chances will be reduced that they’ll retreat solely into a niche activity.
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