Bear with me; this is my first thread I have started.
Ok first I am only 16, and well aware that I am a baby on SDMB, but I really need to just rant about this.
My parents got divorced when I was 10. I didn’t think it was a big deal then, and I don’t think it is a big deal now. My mom got re-married to a guy about a year ago. It is no secret to anyone that step dad is making a very decent living doing what he does. ** Why do they feel the fucking need to rub everyone’s nose in it!!!**
Mom and step dad have recently began construction on a new house in a very prominent neighborhood in town, and I hate it. Why do you need a crystal chandelier in a dressing room? Why do you need a dressing room? Does it really make that much of a difference if you get dressed in a specified “dressing room” or in your own room? In any event, they dropped what I feel to be an insane amount of money on this house. Part of this sum was spent to get a lot that overlooks a golf course. They don’t even play golf! I guess I just don’t see the point in buying all this stupid stuff for the house that we don’t really need.
I’m sure that some of you are thinking “poor little, spoiled, rich girl”. I swear that’s not me. When my parent’s asked me what kind of car I wanted I told them an el Camino. I’m trying really hard not to fall into this decadent lifestyle that they are trying to pull me towards. So far so good…
Why does their enjoyment have to be born of need? See if you can find something better to do with your time than pouting about the happiness of others. It’ll do you a world of good. 
It’s their money. If they want a chandelier in their dressing room, why not?
If they ask you what you need, ask them to put you through college.
::ivylass…who loves rich people, and hopes to be one one day::
Ivyglass wrote:
Now, there’s an excellent suggestion!
Maybe you guys missed this, though it was in bold.
This is perfectly tacky and rant-worthy behavior, at least in my little world. It has nothing to do with pooh-pooing another’s happiness.
They aren’t necessarily rubbing people’s noses in it when they buy a house you consider excessive. It may be just what they’ve always wanted. Be glad, but not proud, that you come from wealth. If something bad happens (such as a serious illness), you have fewer worries. Most of us aren’t that lucky.
You sound like you have your head on straight, but don’t worry about what your parents do. Be happy in your own right.
The above was supposed to refer to the OP, not Maeglin’s post, which wasn’t there when I wrote mine.
I rather imagine the nose rubbing thing is a purely subjective take. She seemed to me to be saying that buying the house is rubbing people’s nose into the fact that step-dad is wealthy.
Fair enough. I assumed that there was something else going on, namely, that the OP was justifiably irritated that her mother was making a big show of trading up, as it were.
Could be. But speaking for myself, the only time that I’m annoyed with someone else’s happiness is when it comes at my personal expense and against my will. So I say either enjoy the big show or go find something else to do.
I think it’s perhaps the rubbing everyone’s nose in it attitude of the mother that has ScorpioStem upset. I’ve seen this behavior before in my own family and in certain acquaintances. Sometimes, someone who just recently had their financial status go up, gets a little attitude about it. At times, it’s subtle. Other times you really want to tell them that they haven’t become better than everyone else, they just have a little (or alot) more money. Wealth doesn’t always guarantee good taste, either.
But, I hope ScorpioGirl is able to talk about this to someone whom she trusts. Maybe the “no big deal” divorce feelings are finally showing up, and this colors her view of her mother and step-dad’s spending.
But, when all comes down to it, Scorp. it is their money, right? And you are benefitting from it, right? Look on the bright side… And show us some pics of your bitch’n El Camino!
I, perhaps, should have mentioned in the op the way they are rubbing people’s noses in it. Anytime I have anyone over at our current house (small one story that we had before mom married step dad) they pull out the plans and proceed to give them a “tour” of the new house. These “tours” tend to last 20-30 minuets, tons of fun when you are trying to leave. These tours include exactly where all television sets and other appliances go, what color all rooms will be painted, and any and all custom moldings/floorings.
And on a side note noclueboy I didn’t get the el Camino. They were afraid it would break down. However, if you want to see some pics of me with my “bitchin” ’97 Saturn, I’m sure I could work some things out
I’m just wondering if the OP’s problem isn’t the money or the house, but the step- father. I just found a little strange how the OP brought up her parents divorce, claiming she felt it was “no big deal then… no big deal now,” and then that her mother remarried a guy a year ago. It could just be that she’s trying to give a little background, but it didn’t come across that way to me.
I felt a little resentment from the OP for her stepfather, reading between the lines that is.
Maybe I’m overanalysing, but it’s only 9:30 and I just woke up dammit!
I can honestly say that the information about the divorce was purely background info. There are no ill feelings toward step dad and mom except for in the case of there new found lavishness. Or should I say Mom’s new found lavishness. Step dad, from what I understand, has always been this way.
I can kind of understand ScorpioStem’s angst.
Recently, our town has seen an almost overnight mushrooming of cookie-cutter McMansions. To me, they seem pretentious and posturing . . . visual bragging. More amusing is the landscaping, each homeowner desperately trying to outdo the next with fabulous mounds, and carefully shapped shrubbery. However, driving through this neighborhood, you will never see one of the occupants out in the yard, enjoying this grossly expensive display. It’s all for show, meticulously maintained by men in a van who travel from house to house, grooming the lawns which will not be played in, or enjoyed, but only serve to show off the homeowner’s disposable income.
I find better uses for my money.
Hang in there ScorpioStem. My parents got divorced when I was eight and I lived with my Mom and Step-Dad too. As I look back, one of the toughest things about this was integrating my Step-Dads different values/priorities into the family. It wasn’t that he was wrong and I was right, it was just that it was different and uncomfortable to me. Some things weren’t a big deal and some mortified me in front of my peers. I think that that is the root of the rant, folks, and, like many things, it’s difficult to understand unless you’ve lived it.
I won’t hijack this thread with my particular examples but ScorpioStem, feel free to email me if you want to talk about this.
Haj
** Lissa **, you couldn’t have been more on point with the landscaping remarks. In fact, I was told that one of the reasons we bought a house in this particular section of said neighborhood was because the whole neighborhood has a landscaping company that does all the yard work. It is seriously in the neighborhood bylaws that we are to let the landscaping company do all the yard work. “Fuck you, you damn flower lovers” in other words. I guess we have to ask to company to plant flowers if we want them.
** Haj **, thanks for the support; I just might take you up on that offer.
I think that if I were in ScorpioStem’s shoes I would be uneasy as well. Pretentiousness is always ugly, and to see your mom exhibit it, well, yuck.
I thought of what my 17-yr old daughter might say to me if I were the offending mom. Something along the lines of :
“Mom ~ that’s a little over the top isn’t it?” with maybe a swish of hair or needling frown thrown in. Of course, your mom may be so caught up in her ga-ga-ness that you can’t approach her with it.
I also liked the college thing, but have you considered how you could use your space at the new house? I mean, plan your room etc. the way you like it, with minimal decoration, or whatever your style, so that it will be a place for you to rest & be refreshed, in the middle of all the cheesiness. 
My original idea for the room at the new house was that I was going to paint a large mural on one of the walls and paint all the other walls coordinating colors. Mom’s response was-“No! Because when you move out in a year and some we are turning your room in to the guest room.” I have been told that the room is going to be furnished in all oak antiques and be painted tones of blue and gold. YAY!
With people like that, I take some satisfaction in knowing that (with the odd exception) they don’t own fuck all. It’s the banks. And if they want to get a massive mortgage since “they can afford it” go right ahead. They look that much worse if the guy loses his job/whatever and the bank repo’s the house.