Stupid House

The BBQ Pit
21

I don’t think we missed it, you just failed to illustrate how they were “rubbing everyone’s nose in it”.

Are they bragging high and low to everyone? Do they drag perfect strangers to the “new house” to show it off?

Do they say “neenor neernor, look what WE’VE got an you DON’T”?

If what they are doing is to merely design something that is enjoyable to them…

Well, even if it might not make SENSE to you,hey,who are they hurting?

First of all, they are putting all KINDS of money back INTO the economy by buying and hiring custom things and craftsmen.

Second, I KNOW you’re gonna hate me (and all others who’ve said, or hinted at this), but "youll understand when YOU get to be that age.

22

I don’t think so, CanvasShoes. The OP appears to have a good head on her shoulders and, as I said earlier, I understand where she’s coming from. You see, I am that age and I guess I still don’t understand. I retained my values and didn’t become a materialistic jerk when I got older and actually achieved financial comfort. I suspect that ScorpioStem will retain her values as well.

Haj

23

Decadent?
Uh, unless your parents have changed in their fundamental characters then their large new house is just, well, a house. The crystal chandeliers, dressing rooms, etc. aren’t my taste either but why the rush to judgment?

Maybe they’re just excited and pleased about their new home. Unless they stole the money that’s building it, they aren’t harming anyone. They’re just enjoying something you don’t, and spending money on things you wouldn’t. Would you consider it decadent, i.e. borderline immoral, if they bought you, say, a powerful computer system or something else you did enjoy?

As little as I admire Martha Stewartism, I admire Puritanism even less. *People are not their possessions, rich or poor. * IMO the genuinely higher road for you would be to try to be happy for them, be tactful when you don’t like something and leave it at that. Frankly it’s not very nice to rain on their parade. They are providing a home for you, even if it’s not the one you’d choose. If your parents are caring, decent people then being kind to them will compromise your principles much less than judging their choices so rigidly.

Veb

24

It does sound to me like they’re doing stuff in and about the new house that isn’t for their enjoyment, but so that others can see how much they’re enjoying it.

25

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by hajario *
**I don’t think so, CanvasShoes. The OP appears to have a good head on her shoulders and, as I said earlier, I understand where she’s coming from. You see, I am that age and I guess I still don’t understand. I retained my values and didn’t become a materialistic jerk when I got older and actually achieved financial comfort. I suspect that ScorpioStem will retain her values as well.

Well, the OP herself said that she hadn’t really clarified in her post how they were “rubbing people’s noses in it”.

I’m 43, and I have a 23 year old daughter and REMEMBER being 16, 17 and going through the whole “parent’s divorcing thing”.

Based on the OP’s follow-up posts, the step father and mom sound excited about their new house!!!

BEING that age,and KNOWING what hell on earth people GO through to GET to the stage where you can finally have some luxuries and FUN in life, I can very much Identify with how they feel.

I bet if she were honest with them and talked to them about her feelings about what they are doing, it would go a LONG way toward decreasing her resentment. I think both she and her parents would find out that neither is thinking or doing what the other imagines them to be doing and/or thinking.

I bet that in her joy and excitement of FINALLY getting something this great, that the mom (or was it step mom?), does NOT realize that she is coming across to others that way.

If on the other hand, and the OP didn’t express it this way that I could see, these people truly ARE being very “in your face” and snooty about their new acquisition, then I concur with the OPs opinion.

Otherwise, sounds like some communication is in order here between her and her parents.

26

Listen to CanvasShoes. I suspect that they are just being excited, as anyone would be in a similar situation. I know when I bought my place, I brought a date by and pointed saying “That’s the place I’m buying!” I was excited, I certainly wasn’t bragging about a little studio apartment, but it was going to be MINE!

Talk to them, and ask them to not give all your friends the virtual tour. Say that you’re uncomfortable because it feels like bragging. Be understanding about their excitement, and they’re more likely to be understanding about your feelings too.

27

** CheeseSteak ** I know that Mom and Step Dad are excited about this new house. The excitement, to me, does come off as bragging. I, being pretty non-materialistic, do not understand mom’s new found obsession with huge houses and fur coats. I suppose this is just one of those things. However; I do think that you guys, for the most part, are right. What they enjoy is not necessarily going to be something that I like or really understand. I just wish they wouldn’t give the tours to my friends. I also wish they would let me furnish my room they way I want to, but that’s not going to happen.

28

Well,gently broach the subject with her…based on what you’ve said so far,it sounds more like she just really excited and happy. I bet she’d be happy to tone down the “virtual tours” with your friends if you nicely talk to her about it.

As to you not getting to decorate your room the way you want,that DOES seem a bit unfair. But it could be that they’ve budgeted for the construction as it stands now,and know that they might not be able to, with the current expenses being what they are, afford to redecorate a room in as little as a year and a half.

Perhaps if they know how strongly you feel,some compromise could be reached?

For instance,maybe not a painted mural,but there are some lovely ones available that are “wall-sized” but like posters sort of. (sorry bad grammar,hope that made sense,).

29

See, that’s because it’s their house. You live in it, but it’s their house, and so they get to decorate it anyway they want. One day you’ll have your own house and you can decorate it any way you want, and if you’re lucky your daughter won’t complain on the internet that you’re tasteless and tacky for putting a mural on your wall when a simple chandelier and some tasteful antiques would have been so much classier.

30

When I got divorced from my son’s father, I had a whole lot to worry about. Where would we live and how would I manage on one income were right at the top of the list. When I did remarry, we moved into a little house and I could finally relax, knowing we had a home and a little security. I don’t know whether your mom had the same worries.

It sounds like your stepfather worked to get where he is financially. There was likely a time when he struggled, maybe during his college years or when he was starting out on his career. Now he’s probably proud that not only can he have a nice house built, but he has a family too. I’m only guessing here.

Maybe this home and the family together is beyond their wildest dreams. Maybe it does seem over the top, but I say let them enjoy it. You can always tune them out when the talk turns toward the house for the millionth time.