Washing dishes is thirsty work.
Blue and green seem like quasi-odd breast colors. :eek:
Hang on, hang on, I just caught this … you can never say anything negative about me AGAIN?! What did you say negative about me in the first place? Huh? Huh?
Something tells me your laundry isn’t gonna be folded just-so next time, missy!
(That sounded much tougher and more threatening in my head.)
Before his much vaunted rise to infamy in his profession as a ringmaker, it is a little known fact that **Sauron ** did indeed do household chores.
Everyone who knew this terrible secret was eventually wiped out by the Dark Lord…
The thing is, he’s not even kidding. I was one of the dames he’d waited on this weekend (well, so now you know to get a little more realistic about the playboy-bunny quality of the female flesh present)
I’d barely turn around and he’d whisk away my empty glass… remove the damp towel I’d just hung up… fold up the bedding on the couch I’d just vacated.
I once stayed in an all-inclusive resort where I was embarrassed by the solicitousness of the service. But those staff had NOTHING on Sauron.
Dear Martha Stewart,
I never thought this could happen to me…
Like I wasn’t already bummed enough I couldn’t go. Rub it in, why don’t you?
If it makes you feel better, I thought about you when Nancy mentioned she got her brows threaded on the way to the airport.
See?! SEE?! Independent verification of my rock-hard physique! I KNEW women noticed my rippling muscles! Those three visits to the gym are finally beginning to pay off!
Although, I must say, there’s something strange about favorably comparing our hosting talents to an all-inclusive resort when you’ve just mentioned the couch you had to sleep on while you visited us.
After watching my new copy of LOTR all day yesterday, I have this peculiar image in my mind of The Dark Lord, in his armor, and a tiny little apron, with Grond, the Hammer of the Underworld in one hand, and a dish towel in the other.
It’s passing weird, I must tell you.
Tris
“He deserves Paradise who makes his companions laugh.” ~ Koran ~
Well, us LOTR fans now know what was Manwe’s major error. He sent Gandalf, Saruman, and three other elderly male Wizards.
He should have sent Aries28!
I had planned this little apron deal for Saturday night. I was gonna cook supper in a pair of jogging shorts and a frilly pink apron, and nothing else. When I mentioned this plan to my wife, she first laughed hysterically, then became very, very serious and said: “No.” So that idea got tossed into the wastebin of history right quick.
You don’t know the half of it, man.
I think that’s the problem with most resorts today. I mean sure, they’ve got comfortable beds and clean, plush towels but how many have thought to offer breastmilk chasers?
I can imagine it’s pretty difficult to thread brows in a moving vehicle.
Breastfeeding?
Different colors?
Why do I now have an image in my mind that I really don’t want there any more? :eek:
All the beautiful women of Toronto feel insulted by that, you know! 
And I call first dibs on seducing and ravishing Sauron and dragging him away to my temple at Paphos. Many beautiful women there–much more than ten, I can assure you! 
Not to hijack a thread, but when I was in college I had a sweet apartment. Big screen TV, surround sound, and huge. One of my good friends was a nursing student and asked if she could throw a party for her nursing friends at my place. Of course I said yes, but I had to be in attendance. As the only guy surrounded by 15 or 20 hot nursing students… well… it’s hard to keep your ego under control, especially as the liquor starts flowing. I highly recommend any guy try this out at least once, if you can.
I gotta tell you, I was horribly disappointed when my corner convenience store stopped stocking Breastmilk Chasers between Barely Legal and Buxom.
OK, if you insist, I will take the 10 boyfriends/husbands/brothers of said women and us guys will do manly things…drink beer, watch football, strip naked, take showers, rough house, hog tie and…well, you know, “guy stuff”…
We need a blush smilie. Thanks.