One bright, sunny morning, Sneeze is washing dishes, humming the Smurf theme and enjoying the smell of her lemon-fresh dish detergent when Oh No! Snake in the garbage disposal! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! The snake leaps from beneath a stack of ketchup-encrusted plates and proceeds to wind its way around the faucet, flicking its tongue in an insulting manner and getting snake scales all over Sneeze’s silverware. Sneeze, not being one to shy away from a snake, especially one that is fouling her utensils, grabs a spatula in her left hand and prepares to grab the snake with her right, when she realizes - she doesnt know which end to grab?
Does she go for the snake ala Steve Irwin, grabbing the very end of the tail and then dangling said reptile in front of her like a top-on-a-string, dodging the snake as it periodically lunges at her crotch (which is at its most vulnerable because Sneeze does not believe in wearing clothes while doing the dishes)?
Or does she grab the snake right behind the head, which was always what she thought you were supposed to do, until the Animal Channel was overrun with men in khaki shorts who enjoyed running down wildlife.
As she stands pondering, the snake lunges! AAAHHHHHH! Luckily, the snake had gotten soap in its eyes and misjudged Sneeze’s position in the kitchen. It leaps headfirst into a heavy cast-iron pot and falls, unconscious, to the floor.
Sneeze breathes a sigh of relief and wipes the sweat from her brow, and is then promptly knocked on the head as the afore mentioned skillet falls to the floor.
What a tragic, tragic situation, which could have been avoided, if only Sneeze knew the proper way to handle snakes - so no one else is forced to suffer through such a tragedy, could a Doper enlighten the community on the correct way to handle a snake? By the tail or by the head?
Thank you,
love
Sneeze (who is ok after all) and Snakey (who, aside from the occasional bout of double vision, is ok as well)
note: I dont really have any snakes to handle, but I am curious, having watched several hours of Steve Irwin and Jeff Corwin over the weekend: why do they hold it by the tail, when it would be so much safer (it would seem safer, anyway) to hold it behind the head.
Also: Does anyone know what color is the inside of a green mamba’s mouth? In “The Poisonwood Bible,” they say it is sky blue, but I have been able to find any confirmation online. For what it’s worth, the inside of a black mamba’s mouth looks like a smoker’s lung, a necrotically marbled black and grey.