How to kill a suffering deer humanely, without a gun? [graphic images warning]

Out of curiosity, is your kukri sharp and stout enough to sever the neck with a single strike?

I don’t think I’d be able to decapitate it in one shot. I think I could reasonably either cut it’s throat or chop the cervical spine, depending on the positioning.

If I can get positioned such that I can start at the angle of one mandible and go to the other, then yes, the kukri would be able to sever the soft tissues of the neck back to the cervical spine, and cut both jugulars and carotids in one go.

I tested the edge a couple of weeks ago. It is probably sharper than the razor with which I am currently shaving, and it is very stout. I’ve frequently split firewood with it, although it is not as effective as an ax, simply because of it’s lesser mass, and curved blade. That said, the curve of the blade would be very useful in the deer situation.

I didn’t mean ‘decapitate’. What I was thinking is that cutting the throat requires very close proximity and a bit of time. Not much time, but time enough to be injured. If the spinal cord is severed, then the animal should lose consciousness immediately – or at lease render it immobile so you can safely cut its throat.

Incidentally, what kind of kukri do you have? I saw that the Cold Steel has some very good reviews, and is cheap to boot.

The facts are, he had one. And was asking for help. Nothing hypothetical about it.

Ever since I read this, I’ve been picturing Wile E. Coyote tearing open a package marked “ACME INERT GASES” and pulling out a canister the size of a nuclear warhead…Seriously, are people supposed to have inert gas, in any kind of container, just laying around the house?

Oh for the love of God… yes I am well aware that most people don’t have something like this at their disposal. Then again many people do have camping gas stoves, CO[sub]2[/sub] fire extinguishers, lighter refill canisters etc. or something which would suffice.

If you want some other humane method of euthanising a deer in these circumstances without access to a firearm or a veterinary surgeon, you’re shit out of luck. There isn’t one. That is why I suggested hypoxia.

This may have been covered already and I’m not trying to be a dick, but why on earth do you own a gun if you are clueless on how/when to use it? A gun is a tool, not some incarnate evil object, it has its uses. This incident certainly seems to have been one of them. Snapping pictures and posting them online and wringing your hands instead of putting this creature down was an EPIC FAIL on your part mate.

P.S. Didn’t read all the above posts so might have missed something but from how this thread started the answer was obvious.

My brother gave it to me in case of zombies. It looks very similar to this image from Wikipedia. My brother posts here as well, if you’re interested, he may have a source.

In all seriousness, my real motivation for asking is to try to come up with a better plan, 'cause the kukri one does have some problems associated with it. I just don’t have a better one yet.

I would use a gun. The animal does not know what a gun is, or that it can hurt them. One blast to the head and the animal is dead. Make sure that you are a good shot. Probably seeing you are from rural Colorado, you know how to do this.

After it’s dead, butcher it and eat it. or if you don’t like venison, give it to a food bank or a homeless center and they will happily take it.

I agree with using the gun, but butchering the deer and eating it is a bad idea - at that point you may be poaching (at least you would be in New Mexico, I’ll defer to enipla to know Colorado game laws). The correct away to deal with game animals is to call the game warden. If there is salvageable meat, they will know what to do with it. You might even end up with it, but with the game warden’s permission, which makes it legal.

There are poachers who would eat deer every day, claiming “they shot a dying deer” if they get caught.

Exactly. There is also the part where he asked this –

It seems like “yes” is a reasonable answer.

Get some black widows, rattlesnakes, and scorpions. Sprinkle liberally.

This is true in many states, but in this case, the meat would not be fit for consumption. Adrenaline and lactic acid make meat tougher and taste awful, which is precisely why a single kill shot when hunting is far preferable to wounding an animal and having to track it down to where it’s run. Heck, when my Grandfather would kill a cow or pig on the farm, he would basically sneak up on it and would even hide the gun from the animal’s sight. Animals learn what guns mean.

This is true in many states, but it’ll often depend on which (if any) reservation is closest to the roadkill site, and whether the animal died immediately or not, for the reason I mentioned above.

The Gurkha Kukri is a famous weapon – it was traditionally regarded as a throat-cutting tool in military special forces. The Wikipedia summary:

Just speaking of the physical mechanics involved, a Kukri is probably one of the best tools for the job, if one is using a blade at all.

I happen to have one, not for killing deer or enemies of the Queen, but because my father knew the Ambassador of Nepal.

I think mine is technically for killing zombies, because I know my brother.

That said, I live in Canada, and the Queen is coming to visit, so I suppose I could wind up killing her enemies.

Somewhere I saw a page on improving kukris exactly like yours. FAIK, you posted a link. Pretty interesting page.

“Improving”? I don’t understand. Could you please explain further?

Use the Force, Luke.

I found the page. How to Turn a Ghurka Khukri Into a Very Formidable Field Knife.

The author is mentioned in one of the comments for this item. So that’s where I found it, rather than an SDMB link.

I called Road and Bridge [from the DOW website] and they came and winched her up and into the road kill truck. I had to drag her the 200 yards up onto the road which was not fun.

BTW, when I spoke to the guy who came and got her, he opened the back of the truck and said, “this year I’m gett’in more bears than anything else.”

Sure enough he had 6 bears in the back, and a feral horse. He proceeded to winch the deer up by the neck and into the back of the truck. There were a few other carcasses up there but they were mainly unidentifiable.