How to kill a werewolf

In My Humble Opinion
1

Hypotheical scenario:

Werewolves exist. You know where one is, alone, and want to kill one.

Ground rules:

-The silver bullet rule is BS. Severly damaging the heart or destorying the brain in some way is fatal. Material invovled in such damage doesn’t matter(so you could use a plastic spork, assuming you could cause brain damage with it). Granted, removing body parts works too.(My scenario, my rules. Besides, the silver bullet thing is from the movies).

-The werewolf has the ability to change forms at will, and withen a matter of seconds(between 10 and 30) This includes an antropomorphic form. Intelligence is inversly porportional to humanity, strength and senes are directly porportional.

-If you fail, you die. It kills you and then eats you. So no “Let it bite me, run off and come back to fight it werewolf to werewolf”.

-The area it lives in sprasly populated and forested.

-Nobody else is willing to help you, because they do not believe in such things, or do believe and are too afraid to help you.

-You have the element of suprise. It does not know you are coming and usually attacks after dark. As such, you will have as much as a day to prepare some kind of attack/defense when you get there.

-The hard part: You do not have access to firearms, explosives or powered equipment. You also do not have access to crossbows. However, anything that do not require electricity or gasoline are fine. And you have to be able to build it or move it without the aid of an automobile.

-You are not in the matrix. No jumping in slow motion 50 feet in the air(and the werewolf can’t do this either).

Your mission, if you choose to accept it. Now, how would you kill it?

3

I hunt it naked with a spear and shield.

4

I think my thread just got spamed.

decides to kill annoying spammer before going after the werewolf

5

I know it sounds crazy but spamming it to death just might work.

6

I have removed the rest of the spam, since most of you have seen it, or something like it, before, and removing the whole post would make the replies seem like nonsequitors. I suggest using spammers as BAIT for the werewolf.

Lynn
For the Straight Dope

7

I’d probably go with some variation (depending on the lay of the land around the werewolf and the wind) of blow gun/poisoned dart or arrow, then stabs to the heart/decapitation. I’d use something like curare or an available virulent venom. Failing that, I’d feed it some bait animal* that had been drugged with enough downers to slow/knock the werewolf out, then drug it with a parylyzing agent and kill it with stabs to the heart and by removing it’s head if possible. I’d go by the concept of “never let them get a whiff of you coming”. I’d be certain wear protective leather leggings, sleeves, and gloves so the werewolve’s claws and fangs wouldn’t rake me.

*Better it eat a sleeping sheep than another innocent.

8

Well since by day it walks around as a human, and presumably maintains a “normal life” cover as a person, doesn’t this basically boil down to the issue of “how does one kill another person who isn’t expecting it”?

Or do you have to kill it in wolf form, so as to avoid charges of murder since nobody else believes in the werewolf?

9

Why do we have to kill it? Peaceful coexistance, mutual trade and all that - can’t we just be friends? :smiley:

10

Burn down the forest.

Either that, or whip up some extraordinarily nasty toxins in my kitchen.

If I know the werewolf is confined to a place (cave, house, etc.), whip up a fertilizer bomb. If I have access to a kitchen, a Wal-Mart, and a chemistry textbook, then I have access to explosives.

11

Another thought: Get videographic evidence of the creature changing forms. Release it onto the Internet. Claim that it’s viral marketing for a new movie. Laugh as the werewolf’s human form suddenly becomes more conspicuous than his hybrid form.

On the defensive front: Ultimately, it depends on how strong our werewolf gets. If it can punch through walls, then fortifications are useless.

You know, simply setting up a bunch of poisoned spikes and letting the werewolf know that you’re prepared for him may cause the werewolf to pick easier prey.

Do we have the standard resourses of a house?

12

The first post lays out the rules. No electronic equipment, no explosives.

The werewolf could punch throug drywall, but not brick or stone.

13

Pungi sticks did come to mind, particulary since a werewolf might be distracted enough to not notice them until it was too late.

14

Well, I never said you had to, but assuming that was your goal<insert reason here>, how would you do it?

15

Crush it under the wheels of a 1958 Plymouth Fury.

You know…that 1958 Plymouth Fury.

There’s a special bond, between a guy & his first car.

16

Nice idea, but go back and read the ground rules.

17

Now you’ve gone & insulted my car.

Christine doesn’t like that.

18

To clarify ground rules:

-Brain or heart damage is fatal, regardless of what causes it.

-The werewolf cannot punch through stone, concrete or brick. Really strong wood might hold. .

-You have the element of suprise. It does not know you are coming and usually attacks after dark. As such, you will have as much as a day to prepare some kind of attack/defense when you get there.

-No firearms.

-No eletrcity(batteries, generators, etc) and Nothing eletrically powered.

-Nothing gasoline powered.

-No explosives.

19

More details on what we can use would be nice. Based on what you’ve said, I’m assuming that I’m in a house way out in the country, I have no car, and my power’s been cut. A run to Wal-Mart is out of the question, I’m assuming.

Lesse…
Rigging the house to explo… to burn very quickly (if there’s a gas stove or if I have propane) would also be a “I know you can smell this. Pick easier prey.” sign.

What are this werewolf’s motivations? If it’s feral and non-stupid, then even minor precautions will keep it hunting animals. If it has a grudge against me in particular, on the other hand, I’ll probably want to run for it while I can. Heck, with no car and no communications, there will be no calvary, and if you’re clever, you can go a long ways on foot in 24 hours. Of course, if you’re so far out that a day’s forced march can’t get you to safety and the werewolf’s hunting you specifically, setting up your house to be a maze of booby-traps and hoping that the accumulated effect brings it down is probably your best bet.

20

I’m thinking it’s more of a “post apocalyptic” or “medieval/low tech civilization” setting than what you suggested robertliguori.

21

If I don’t have access to crossbows or firearms then we’re talking about a fairly primitive level of technology. How did people hunt back then? I’d get a few friends of mine to scour the woods searching for tracks. We’d be armed with spears, war clubs, and maybe even large darts propelled with our atle-atles. Using group tactics we’d eventually run the wolf down and kill it.

Marc