2-3 servings daily is recommended.
Why would I pay for an exterminator when I can take care of the problem for 30 cents worth of wine?
And hey! $4 more wine left over for you! 
Well, you don’t think I’d crack open the expensive stuff for them, do you?
Shoot them in the face, as a sign of respect.
Put dimes on their eyes, to show that they saw it comin’.
Slip a codfish under their suit coats, because…you know…
The Don will call you “Good People” afterward.
My husband talks about calling an exterminator whenever we see three ants in the kitchen during the same week. He is utterly impervious to reason on this issue. It wouldn’t surprise me a bit if he did the same thing for fruit flies.
For you or for the flies?
Inside a dog is too dark to read.
Shenanigans. Isn’t that the bar near O’Reilly’s?
Why choose?
Of course, it’s important to remember which glass is whose.
Despite the name, fruit flies don’t really eat fruit - even rotting fruit. They mostly live off of yeasts and fungi that grow on rotting fruit. They’re also attracted to soft, rotting fruit because it’s a nice place to lay their eggs. But since yeasts make ethanol, alcohol is also a strong attractant.
One at time.
With an ice pick.
Just before killing them I unmask myself so they can see who it is taking their life from them.
Revenge is a violent game …
I swear to God, I’ll pistol whip the next Doper who says “shenanigans”!
I had tried the vinegar thing - I think I used red vinegar - and didn’t have much success. I don’t want to waste my Layer Cake Malbec on them though - I’ll have to grab some Two Buck Chuck next time I’m out that way.
Maybe I’ll put out a dish each of vinegar, wine, and bitters and see which one wins.
Oh and as to getting rid of the offending fruit, we always need bananas on hand, and it seems fruit flies are never far behind. I do try to keep up with disposing of the overripe ones, but I think when you buy bananas, you’re liable to bring a hitchhiker or two home with you.
Yeah. Where are they coming from? I know my infestation is because I haven’t washed my dishes in 4 months but I’m guessing that’s not everyone’s situation.
Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy does the alcohol trap not work for me? Everyone recommends putting a little wine out in a glass. It does not work for me at all. I have tried this multiple times in the past few weeks. I can count on one hand the fruit flies I’ve caught.
It’s a very conservative religious county, it’s true. But surely the fruit flies are not teetotalers!
Amateur! Use your tongue.
You have to put some dish soap in the wine, or so I’ve been told. The flies can dip in to and escape regular liquid surface tension but as we all learned in our Making Bubbles workshop - dish soap changes the surface tension of water, and the flies can’t fly away.
Or maybe your wine isn’t pungent enough?
I have a funnel upside down on top of the wine glass (well, the glass with the wine. Not an actual wine glass.). That way they fly in, can’t find their way out, and then eventually drown in the wine. Otherwise they dip in and fly away.
I’ve tried the soap. It has no effect. I’ll try the funnel.
It’s definitely possible that the wine isn’t pungent enough - I like sweet white wine. (Nothing anyone who knows anything about wine would approve of, I’m sure.)
I read that as “wife” and was somewhat surprised.
You’re thinking of Tchotchke’s - Shenanigans is a few blocks south.
“Murderers! Assasins!”