Difficulties at work (a small startup) but also lots of good things. I (along with several other people) are having a personality conflict with one of the people there, and I am letting it get in the way of my personal relationships.
Many things at the company are going great, exciting, starting to get traction in the market, new people coming on who are really making great contributions.
Other things not so great. Personality conflicts, the afforementioned person who is in an ill-defined leadership position, very difficult to work with. Although the organization chart is somewhat fluid, convinced he is everyone’s boss, and people should jump when he says jump.
He reacts to stress by unfairly criticizing everyone else, demanding to be in the middle of decisions that don’t concern him, about issues that he doesn’t understand, demanding overly frequent “updates” that take time and energy away from actually getting the urgent work done. Constantly offering unsolicited (and repetitive) advice about how to work better with people, how to draft diplomatic emails, etc. when all (but him) seem to agree that he is the LAST person who should be offering advice on how to work with people.
My problem is that he is really getting to me, and in turn that is getting in the way of my relationships with girlfriend, family, friends. When I am having a problem, I like to talk it through with friends and family. This can be a good thing at times, but right now people around me are getting sick of hearing me make the same complaints over and over. My girlfriend is feeling bad because she says it hurts her feelings that this is all I ever talk about. I have a really great co worker (one of the new folks mentioned previously who has only been here for 6 months but is already making a HUGE contribution to the company) but I find that she and I spend too much time and energy comisserating.
At work the situation seems to be getting better. The CEO has (on his own) decided to step in and get more involved and sort of removing this difficult guy from the mix.
But I want to focus on my own reaction: how can I get better at leaving all this stuff at work, so I’m not driving my friends and family nuts?