Per what the others have said it 's kind of pointless to try and drag a reluctant donkey uphill. It exhausts the patience of the puller and terrifies and infuriates the donkey. Nothing is going to happen for you until you decide you don’t want to be a sack of fat. Until you do that you will continue to be in poor physical condition,
I was substantially overweight 2 years ago and I finally decided to get onboard with a personal trainer 3 times a week. The enforced appointment is what got me past my own excuses. I don’t have to be “motivated” or “up” or force myself to be a good mood. I simply go and he puts me through my paces and works me like a rented mule. I’m lighter, faster and stronger than I have been in a long time and I still have some way to go.
I keep going because I have gotten results and the effort is worth it. The appointment is key.
As a side note if I was a fat married man with a fit wife I would be concerned about the fact that she would find me physically repulsive and may start to find her physical entertainment elsewhere. That fear alone might get me exercising. If you were a fit man with a hugely fat wife who simply refused to exercise or diet would you be satisfied with that arrangement?
OP, are you sure you’re not Ignatius Reilly? :dubious:
You have to want to be healthy. You don’t have to enjoy exercise and diet; you can enjoy the result. It doesn’t matter that some fit people are jerks, and that is just one of many excuses you’re using to give yourself permission to die young and unhealthy. Taking care of yourself is not a waste of time if you consider the increase both in duration and quality of life that accompanies it.
You’re lazy and self-indulgent. That’s not a personal attack, just an analysis of your post. You have the power to change yourself, but you have to genuinely want it. No amount of agreeing with your wife that you really should get into shape or complaining online that you can’t get fit for bad reasons X, Y, and Z will help you. There absolutely is hope for you, but you won’t find it online. Go take a walk outside and think about how your life could be different if you were in better shape. I’m rooting for you to decide to take control of yourself, but ultimately it’s entirely up to you.
For over 30 years and a whole range of different kinds of exercise, the only exceptions having been simulated fighting (CSA-type stuff) and, currently, machines in a gym where the monitors are helpful, non-judgmental and nobody says “c’mon you can do it!” right after I’ve tried to eat the floor:
No.
No, it added to the stress.
What fit body? The few times I was actually able to do something, it wasn’t deemed satisfactory by the monitor, sometimes because of things as stupid as insisting that I had to work righty when I’m actually a lefty for anything involving coordination or strength.
Now, there are things I’ve always done but which for some reason weren’t counted as “exercise” until I turned 40. I can walk for hours so long as I’m going someplace. But most of the stuff that gets labeled as exercise, aurgh!
Most people don’t exercise at that level, but only because most people don’t exercise in the furst place. I still get a little buzz from endorphins 60-90 minutes into a run.
You’re entirely correct about the rest though. That’s no reason to work out, although it is a nice bonus when you’re still in mediocre shape and hit the rush after 15-20 minutes of jogging.
As others have said, don’t “go on a diet.” Just cut back on one or two foods that you know are adding considerable calories. Even if you only lose one pound a week . . . a year from now you’ll weigh 52 pounds less. That’s an accomplishment!
Also, you don’t say how overweight you are, but I think there is a lot of hysteria in the media that if you’re not super ripped and toned you are going to drop dead of a heart attack in the next few minutes. While it is true that being obese is probably not going to do you any favours, there’s some evidence that being slightly overweight actually prolongs your life. And even if that’s not correct, you could also argue that living a few years less is better than living your entire life doing stuff (exercising, eating food you don’t enjoy) that you don’t want to.
Me personally, I’ve chosen a compromise of doing enough exercise and portion control to feel reasonably healthy, whilst still being a lot fatter than fashion dictates.
Like a lot of others mentioned, I also think you should try walking. A problem is that your wife and friends kind of accept you as you are. They don’t seem to nag you much about your weight. Think about how bad diabetes would be. I think they need to inject themselves several times a day. BTW how much do you weigh?
What about this idea: you could get your wife to only have sex with you if you lose a pound in a week… (and no porn either) if you gain weight in a week you could pay her a substantial amount of money or do a chore you hate or something…
As long as you make sure to not “treat” yourself for being so good, of course! That’s why for some people but not others, cutting out one or two things works.
Been there, done that. The diabetes diagnoses is what changed me.
Regarding exercise:
I totally get you on the intellectual pursuits thing. The only time during the day where my mind isn’t running on its own treadmill is when I’m falling asleep. The only way I can stand doing cardio is by watching TV while I do it, so I cut the cable cord and only let myself watch shows while I’m exercising. I probably look ridiculous with the iPad perched on the elliptical, but hey, I’m moving.
You also have to consider it as just another chore you have to do in your life. You gotta go to the dentist, you gotta pay your bills, you gotta hit the gym…
Regarding food:
This is the hard part. I freakin’ love food, and it’s why although I’m a lot healthier than I was, I’m not going to be average size any time soon. I don’t know exactly how you eat, but so much of it for me was dialing back on the starchy carbs and eating more veggies and fruit. Less stuff from a box. I don’t count calories, but I’m aware of what I’m putting in my body and trying to put more good things and less bad things in it.
That’s probably the key to sticking with exercise. You do it because you want the benefits it provides, not because the activity itself is enjoyable. It’s like doing homework, going to work, practicing an instrument, etc. Rarely do people do those activities for their own sake. They do them because they get better grades, live a more comfortable life, get to enjoy playing an instrument, etc.
Actually, it’s funny how similar the excuses are between people who don’t want to exercise and my kids who don’t want to do homework. It’s stupid. It’s boring. I don’t have time. It takes too long. It’s too hard. But the consequences for being sedentary are a lot more severe than just a bad grade.
I find it easier to exercise away the calories than diet. Exercise is just a matter of exertion for a set period of time. Even if you don’t like it, it’s over when you’re done. But diet is a 24/7 effort. I can burn off 600 calories in an hour workout. But 600 calories is more than my lunch. If I skipped lunch, I would be starving and have to deal with cravings the rest of the day.
Even if you never lose a pound, exercise will still make you healthier. Not only does it keep your body strong and mobile, it can help reverse the negative effects of your weight. You want to exercise because it makes you healthier. It just happens to have a side effect of helping with weight loss. A fat person who exercises can be healthier than a thin person who’s sedentary.
I actually like exercising, but a lot of the other stuff is a PITA. The main thing I don’t like about exercise is the huge waste of time in going back and forth to the gym. I was doing very well all summer long because I was swimming for an hour every night at the apt. complex pool. And there is a small “gym” in the apt. complex office building. Not having to waste so much time going to the “place to exercise” was a huge help in getting me up and moving.
I’m thinking that, since you say you really enjoy reading and such, that it would be more palatable to you if exercising took less time away from what you really enjoy? That in mind, maybe some exercise equipment around your house? And the aforementioned dog, using podcasts and good books on tape?
Is anyone really going to lose significant amounts of weight just by cutting back on one or two problem foods? I know I wouldn’t. I’ve been dieting strictly for months and my losses have averaged half a kilo a week. If I’d done what you’re suggesting, it would’ve taken me years, not months to lose the weight.
How about getting an exercise machine like a bike or a treadmill with a shelf? Then you can set a book down and read while you work out? Or you said you liked the bikes – why not try bike riding with your wife? Do something the two of you can do together.
That’s why for some people but not others, cutting out one or two things works.