S’okay - not quite used to discussing personal matters with a bunch of anonymous (although generally great!) people, but figured this might help out more than just me. Here goes.
First off, my libido’s okay - not great, not hyperdrive, but okay. However, I’ve been reading the recent threads on marital difficulties and differing sex drives and have been wondering if it couldn’t be better. I did discuss it last December (last checkup!) with my doctor and she switched me to a different birth control pill, Alesse. Are things better? I guess, maybe. I don’t really know - things don’t seem that different. I know, I know, “Go talk to her again, fool.” I should.
Part of my problem (maybe) is that I’ve been on birth control pills for many years now. Before I went on them, I was 17. I’ve been on them for so long now that I wonder if there’s a difference between my “normal” and my “no BCP” state (seeing as I haven’t been in the normal, non-BCP state for so long). Perhaps I should go off just to see.
So’s I’m looking to all y’all for advice - how have you dealt with similar situations? What’s worked, and what hasn’t? Where would a girl look for some resources about this sort of thing (besides her doctor - we’ve been over that, and I know I should)? C’mon - share.
Thanks!
Snicks
I think a lot of it has to do with chemistry. If you and your partner aren’t clicking, the loss of interest can feel like a problem with one of you - but I think it’s just a problem of feelings. Look how some people who think they have no libido perk right up when the right person comes along !
Having said that, there are many books of every conceivable flavour intended to get you and your partner talking - and hopefully, eventually more. Go to a women’s sex shop in your area. Good Vibrations has a good selection (and some other neat stuff on the site too !), for starters.
Oh, and check this out ! It’s an advice column from a women’s sex shop in Toronto.
How can I increase my sex drive?
… busily testing the limits of my employer’s internet filter …
As you mentioned, perhaps you should try a different form of birth control. One without hormones. Don’t know if that will change your situation, but if you can’t point to any other causes, it might be worth checking out.
FWIW, I use a diaphragm. Since I don’t know your situation, don’t know if this option would work for you. We’ve had several threads devoted to different types of contraception, so there are other options available.
(Sorry, can’t do a search for the threads. On a terribly slow computer.)
Good Luck.
I experience the same problem on Depo Provera. Unfortunately, there’s no way I can go off of it because I’m epilleptic and it controls my seizures, which are hormone-related. (I’ll be in an interesting situation when I decide whether or not to have children soon.) What I’ve found is that, while I can get interested, orgasm is extremely difficult. The best advice I can give you if you can’t go off your pill, or if they all have the same affect on you is masturbate and have sex regularly. You know - practice makes perfect. 
I find that the more sex I have, the more sex I want.
Before I got with my current b/f, I was only having sex 3-4 times a month, and masturbating about once a week. Now that I’m having sex more frequently (5-6 times a week), I find that I crave it more often. I masturbate on almost all of the off-nights that he doesn’t come over.
Maybe it’s the thrill of being in love, I don’t know, but whatever it is it’s fabulous.
Also, I’ve never noticed The Pill having an effect on my sex life.