Give him a pointy stick, or a golf club.
What’s under the bed is going to get him much easier if he’s sleeping on the floor.
Am I helping?
Maybe don’t tell him that.
Give him a flashlight.
Or a fly swatter. My nephew went through a scared-of-monsters phase and nothing my brother and sister in law did worked until one day he got hold of a fly swatter and took it to bed so he could give any monsters he found a royal smackdown. The SLAPSLAPSLAP thing drove them nuts but at least he stayed in his room at night.
My office manager re-labeled a can of air freshener as “No More Monsters” and let her daughter spray the hell out of her closet (which was where the monsters lived) before bedtime. The downside was the daughter would go through the stuff like water and the smell was murder on Mom’s allergies. phall0106’s monster potion would be both cheaper and easier on the nose.
If you have an iPhone, there is a “Monster Detector” app as well as a “Monster Scanner” app available. Maybe they would help.
Thanks, all for the great ideas. I don’t think he’s being purposefully manipulating with the monster idea, he’s very matter of fact about it. He mentioned it to my parents on the phone, like he was discussing what he liked about his lunch. “Why don’t you sleep in your new bed” “Oh, it’s just the Monsters, I need to sleep with my stuffed animals on the floor, or the Monsters will get in my bed and take my toys.”
He happily manipulates us in other ways, of course, I just don’t think monsters is his way to do it.
I think we may have to have an Anti-Monster project, perhaps using “Science”.
An iPhone app? Is there anything these magic machines can’t do?
I know, right? Crazy kid sleeping on the floor. The only time you even touch the floor is as you sproing up to your bed when coming back from the washroom.
Sooooo…
No one here is even going to consider the notion that the kid might be right, and the house is rife with monsters? Sheesh.
I must have done this parenting thing all wrong. When my children had imaginary friends I just shared mine with them. I use to spend entire afternoons picking up my imaginary friends from soccer practice and dropping off my children’s imaginary friends and such. It seemed innocent, kinda dispelled the whole thing and was super fun for us. We never had much of a problem with monsters. A couple issues with ETs, yes plural. but I just accepted them as real or used our imaginary friends as protectors and it seemed to work. I often got upset becasue my daughter did not believe in my imaginary friends and monsters. I think she just played along.
Of course he’s right, that’s why he shouldn’t sleep on the floor within easy eating distance!
Sounds like me in my teenage years.
Perhaps they need to hire Susan as their governess?
[Twyla hears a bogeyman under her bed. Susan bashes it with a poker and hauls it out from under the bed]
Twyla: Do The Voice on it.
Slimazel the Bogeyman: No! Not The Voice.
Twyla: Hit it on the head with a poker.
Slimazel the Bogeyman: Not the poker.
Susan: This is a friendly warning. Understand? Because it’s Hogswatch.
Slimazel the Bogeyman: What are you? A witch or something?
Susan: I’m just… something. Now you won’t be around here again, will you? Or we’ll put your head under the blanket. It’s got fluffy bunnies on it.
Slimazel the Bogeyman: Fluffy bunnies. No!
Susan: [sternly] Go away and stop bothering me.
Twyla: That wasn’t as much fun as the one last month. You know, the one when you kicked him in the trousers.
You may try putting objects that have a associations with happy memories in strategic location where monsters tend to hide or those inter-dimensional doorways that the monsters use are. The child doesn’t even need to know you are placing them there, but the association to happiness contained with that object may dispel the association with monsters to that location.
But be sure of the object you chose and make sure your child actually associates it with good feelings as opposed to objects you think he does.
Good Luck
Give the kid melatonin so he /sleeps through the night.
StG
Why do you think I suggested the Monster Detector app? It finds and zaps away all kinds of monsters- and it really really works.
We had Monster Repellant spray, but used a stainless sprayer from a cooking store–looked more impressive, I guess.
We’re going to go with a two pronged approach, Monster Repellant spray, backed up by a Monster Detection app, just to prove that the spray worked. Can’t be too careful.
I hate it when there’s exactly one thing I can contribute to a thread, and someone beats me to me. :mad:
I was cleaning out the sink yesterday in order to install a new faucet, and found our old Monster Spray bottle from when Millical was little. We filled the spray bottle with water and inexpensive perfume.
We still use it, by the way, to sprasy at the cats when they go somewhere they’re not supposed to. The spray works on Monsters of all sizes and probabilities.
My parents put a lava lamp in our room. It was much less bright/shadow casting than a regular night light and it gave us something to look at instead of creepy shadows.
Of course, it did have a metal base heated to kid-burning temperature by a 40 watt lightbulb , and a giant glass tube of possibly poisonous hot water and wax. In retrospect, it was actually a terrible idea. Never mind.