A friend and I were doing random searches on the web. My friend is ostracized from his family and moved here several years ago. He literally decided to one day pack his things and leave. During our search, we came across a missing person report on him. Ok, he’s obviously not missing and isn’t dead. Is it possible for him to notify the police and have them close the case without notifying his family about his whereabouts? He wants no contact with them.
If he’s a legal adult, telling the police that he does not want his whereabouts to be divulged should be honored, once he affirmatively proves his identity. If he’s across the country, your local police may be involved in that step.
Call your local police anonymously and ask.
If you don’t like the sound of their answer, get an attorney. An attorney can often act as an agent while preserving absolute privacy. You, on the other hand, might be compelled to tell your local police everything you know, which they would then pass along to the investigating agency out of a mistaken belief they are required to do so.
One thing your friend can’t do is un-divulge the information once given. So get your assurances up front from the only people who can reliably provide them: your local police.
Adults go missing on their own , it’s not uncommon. I believe the police will tell the family the person is OK.
He’s an adult. If someone cares enough to worry about him, he should show the decency to call them and tell them that he’s not missing, just not interested. Maybe the family had a change of heart.
Regardless of how badly he regards himself as having been treated, I agree with NurseCarmen that he should take steps to let his family know that he is safe and well, but that he does not want them to know where he is. That might be easiest by contacting the police indirectly by someone who will respect confidentiality – that could be through a lawyer, as suggested by LSLGuy, or through a minister of religion (who is less likely to charge for the service).
You are assuming that his family has his best interests at heart, and that the decency to respect this should prevail. It may be, however, that his family are a bunch of onerous jackals that are simply looking for someone to latch onto and use, and the o.p.'s friend’s desire to maintain his anonymity is his only effective way to avoid drama, harassment, or possibly violence in threat or action. I know some people with good families just don’t grasp this, but not all families are people who would want to associate with.
LSLGuy has the right idea; having a lawyer act as an intermediary provides legal protection against divulging his location or information. However, if this is not an active investigation and just lain fallow, I’d leave it be. Responding to the report, even anonymously, may just incite more private investigation, and unless you are living in a trailer in the middle of Montana, it just isn’t very hard to locate someone.
Stranger
He could write a letter to them to let them know he’s OK. If he’s worried about them tracing him via the postmark, mail it when he is out of town far away from where he lives. Or get a friend to mail the letter when they are away on a trip.
Thank you to Stranger on a Train for that answer.
A friend of mine who was in this situation contacted his local police, who contacted the police in his parents’ town, who forwarded to them that he was alive and well–and no other information. So my data point of one indicates that a lawyer is probably not necessary.
Today, my friend went to the local police department. After showing proof of his identity, a detective contacted the police in his old town. The old town detective was satisfied with the identifcation. He said that the family member who filed the missing report would be notified that the case was closed as he was located, but desires no contact. No note of his location would be placed in the file.
Just how hard would it be to find paricular person Andrew S. Jones in the USA? (using “normal person” resources, without recourse to official agencies)
And barring something particularly out of the usual with the person, or a narrowing of location.
I has been missing for over a day now.
Unless the person were making some special effort to hide, i.e. not having credit cards, utilities, apartment lease, et cetera in his or her name (see Brandi Stahr) it’s an effort of about thirty minutes for a private investigator. A friend once had to employ a p.i. to find someone (for professional reasons), and he found her while still on the phone in conversation. When you see Veronica Mars look up a missing person from a database on her PowerBook, that’s not Hollywood bullshit; it’s really pretty close to the truth.
Someone using a false name or not leaving a ready paper trail in public records would be harder to find, but most people fuck up at some point, either by omitting some vital step or going back to an old haunt. It’s the rare fugitive or runaway that is so divorced from past life that no one can find them; it’s just a matter of talking to the right people or looking through the right records.
Stranger