How to stop the Menacing Clown problem.

Pretty easy, actually. And it gives the clowns a WIN too.

So these clowns dress in a manner to incite the greatest amount of clown terror possible. They are not Bozos with buckets of confetti or noses that honk. No, they are trying to plant in the minds of those they encounter that they just came into contact the most fucked-up slash people and grab kids to rape them torture them then mutilate their bodies. So I propose we take them at face value. Let’s accept the threat they are trying to plant as the actual threat. Then we can deal with these douchebags properly. The same way you’d deal with someone who is trying to grab children to do the things they want to plant in our heads. So, on sight, we’d be able to beat them. Subdue them, by any means we feel necessary. Even kill them, the way you might kill someone trying to carry your child out of his or her bedroom window in the middle of the night.

There you go. Make this Anti-Clown Doctrine law and watch these douchebags vanish from sight as they go back to jerking off in the attic over their collection of The Joker memorabilia.

What happens if the cops don’t see that your clown suit has an orange tip?

ignore them, stop publicising it and they’ll get bored and quit of their own accord.

Doesn’t matter. Menacing clown suit? anything thing that happens after that is your own fault. Just like breaking into some child’s bedroom.

No harm in speeding the process up. :smiley:

Let’s outlaw clown suit manufacturing then. Or sales of clownsuits. Fuck it, let’s just go shoot up a bunch of clownsuit stores and factories now. Why wait for those clowns in congress to pass legislation?

There’s always going to be something that is close enough for mistakes to be made.

You can have my clown suit when you peel it off my cold, dead body.

Wait a minute…

If we give the gubberment the right to outlaw clown suits, then we give the gubberment the right to outlaw pink pants suits with pussy ties … I don’t want to live in a world where no one can wear pink pants suits with pussy ties …

Menacing is already illegal … even if one wears Armani …

I guess I don’t understand what the deal is probably because I don’t watch TV. People dress up as clowns and do what? Stand around? Lurk in the shadows? Pick up walnuts? Mow the grass?

What is it that they are doing aside from dressing like a clown, and what difference does the costume make?

this doesn’t seem like a “great debate” to me. :dubious:

Treat them like other people who are planning on grabbing children? The problem there is the word “other,” since there is zero evidence that they plan on grabbing children.

Here’s a better solution: treat them like other people who aren’t planning on grabbing children. Let them have their fun, and don’t beat the shit out of people because they decide to dress funny. Boom, problem solved!

Of course, my solution favors the first amendment. Lemme know if that’s a problem with it.

How do we know it’s a “menacing” clown suit?

ETA: To be clear: you are advocating for summary executions?

Generally things like the above story. People are dressing up in clown costumes and acting in a sketchy to a lot more than sketchy manor.

No, actually, not “just like.” The first thing is choosing to wear legal garments. The second is committing a felony.

Let’s roll!

But, but, what if they know Kung fu?


This certainly seems like a solution in search of a problem.

It would not be a felony because I’m proposing passing a law, similar to The Castle Doctrine. I think the clowns might like this as it would be confirmation that they are as menacing as they want us to believe them to be. Just think about those poor clown egos…going through all that work to be perceived as menacing and you just get laughed at.

Fuck them.


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