How To Use Baby Toys To Create An Adult Klutz

I’ve got this bizarre contraption that can be set up over a baby–it looks like a big white plastic Fisher-Price torture machine, and if you hit it (or kick it with baby feet) in a certain way it starts to play something like music while these different colored lights start blinking on and off. Now I’m not sure but I think that the sales pitch for this thing is something like, “This toy will develop your baby’s rhythm and coordination.” The thing is, the lights don’t blink on and off in exact sync with the music so, if anything, the device trains the infant to arrhythmic and uncoordinated. Could using such a contraption actually “train” a kid to be a klutz? Or, if the thing worked, would it help a child develop a greater degree of dexterity?

Not that I’m truly worried about this, because the torture machine occupies only a very small percentage of my baby’s time. Besides, with the genes my daughter inherited from her parents, her future clumsiness is an almost absolute certainty.

Still . . . could you train a kid to be more or less coordinated with something like this? Just how much can you influence a child’s development in the areas of rhythm and timing and coordination? And at what points in a child’s development are they most susceptible to this kind of influence? I’d guess that most of our adult physical abilities stem from genetics, yet they have gym class in kindergarten so somebody somewhere must think you can promote certain physical traits in future adults by giving them the right kind of exercise early on.

What do you think? Know any theories? Care to make any up? Am I destroying my daughter’s future as a ballerina or fighter pilot with this horrible machine? I’m hoping somebody here has studied–or at least read up on–subjects that might pertain to my questions.

Thanks in advance!