This is a simple instructional post for those unfamiliar with the process of walking down stairs.
Step 1: Pay attention
Step 2: Don’t be a dumbass
Unfortunately, I failed to heed my own instructions last night. My mind was elsewhere, and I firmly set foot on a whole lot of air.
It could have been worse. There were only two steps, so it’s not like I tumbled down an entire flight. I was carrying a glass jar full of water (I was getting ready to paint), and it broke my fall. Amazingly, it not only didn’t shatter, I managed to spill very little water.
The worst of it, though, is that I now have two broken feet. And yes, that sucks almost every bit as you can imagine it. I can walk, but I’m not breaking any speed records.
The ironic bit is that on Saturday, I dropped big bucks on some extraordinarily fancy dress shoes. I guess this means that they will look brand spankin’ new right up until Christmas.
You broke your foot?! Ouch Sending healing podiatric vibes your way.
I did the same thing you did actually, exactly two steps, at a bar in Orlando a month ago. I sprained my ankle pretty bad. I think the alcohol helped by loosening me up (despite probably causing the accident in the first place.)
I needed those instructions for walking down the sidewalk this spring, and did a header into the planter. i got away with only a twisted ankle and couple of scrapes, fortunately.
I said I broke BOTH feet. Actually, not breaks, just fractures, in the left piggies that went to market and stayed home, and in the right talus. But the most throbbing pain is in the right piggies that did or did not have roast beef, radiating from the talus. That’s the worst.
Thanks for all the well wishes and similar stories.
I’m glad to accept:
-{{hugs}}
-{{kisses}}
-Instructions on how to walk with a cane. (Injured foot side or non-injured foot side? Neither seems to do much good.)
-Accusations of being a clumsy moron who should have known better
-{{oral sex therapy}}
-Oral sex therapy (Please submit resume, picture, and ice pack)
-Ideas on how I can exercise, aerobically, without turning my feet into maracas.
At least you didn’t have fair warning first. Here’s what I did about three weeks ago.
Friend (atop her awkward spiral staircase): Can I turn the lights off?
Me (descending said staircase): Yeah, I think I can handle a few more stairs.
Friend: Careful. Don’t miss–
Me: THUMP
My ankle is still recovering from that.
tdn, as a fellow bearer of physical stupidity, you have my sympathies.
remember when you would be told as a child to hang up your jacket?
my coworker forgot that piece of advice and tossed his jacket on the stairs (to take up later).
of course he didn’t take it up later and when coming down the stairs with a full basket of laundry…
after everything landed he had a rather severe ankle break. surgery, 4 weeks on crutches, 4 weeks in a walking boot thingy, phys. therapy, he has an ankle that tells the weather.
tdn, i think you should have as much chocolate and ben and jerry’s ice cream as you can eat. for the calcium of course.
From my recently-acquired expertise in Walking With A Cane:
Gregory House, MD does it wrong.
Cane goes in the opposite hand from the injured foot, so that your weight is partially redistributed across your body. You will be convinced that it doesn’t help for at least a week. Trust me, it makes a huge difference.
Don’t have any hugs or kisses for ya, since I’m a married Doggy, but tell ya what, I’ll give you my best Concerned Wrinkly Forehead, how’s that?
Owie! Sorry to hear tdn. I am so very bad with stairs as to be scared of them now. Going upstairs or going downstairs, doesn’t matter…I can and have hurt myself. I hold on to the bannister for dear life.
That sucks hard. My cousin fell off a roof and broke both feet, and was laid up completely during recovery.
I was trying to get a queen-sized mattress down a steep, narrow stairway. I sort of folded it into a U-shape to get it down the stairway, but it was stuck. My Bright Idea was to sit on it and bounce it down the stairway. The combination of satin, bounce, and angle shot me down the stairs at lightning speed – right into a wall. Yeeeaaahhhh…that left a mark.
I have two sets of steps - 7 each. On one set I always take all the steps. On the other set I often forget the last one and step into empty air. Usually I twist my knee. They are identical sets of steps! One just goes to a different place than the other.
Cane goes in the opposite hand - injured left foot, cane in right. And it moves with the injured foot.
So: move left foot and right hand (cane) forward. Plant on ground (carefully, with the foot, however you like, with the cane).
Place weight on cane + injured foot. Swing good foot (which is in the middle of the cane+broken foot pair) forward. Plant good foot.
Repeat.
HOWEVER, as you’ve managed to break both feet, I’m not quite sure what the protocol is.
Stairs are teh eeeevil. I am truly frightened of them, having come to grief quite a few times in both upward and downward directions. Twice, the “grief” involved somersaults. Only one of those times resulted in a broken bone (my elbow). Many more near misses. I go into near-panic mode if I’ve got to go down stairs without a handrail. I’ve even fallen while carrying one of the babies (you’d be amazed at how quickly your body can twist so that you land with the baby on top). Doesn’t help the situation that I’ve got lousy proprioception and sometimes forget where my feet are, and have to literally stop cold, glance at the feet, then proceed.
I stopped on the second step at my mother’s house once (the house I lived in growing up, so I should know it, right?) and then stepped from there to the floor. Broke the bone right behind my left little toe. Somehow this necessitated a cast to the knee and crutches. I can’t imagine walking on that, and nursing a broken toe on the other foot. Owie!
That sucks so much! I’m a complete and total clutz, and it’s amazing that I’ve never broken anything (that I know of, anyway), but I’ve sprained my ankles each more times than I can count. Ugh.
Once again, thank you all for the advice, hugs, and stories.
I’m feeling amazingly better today, even though I’m walking at a snail’s pace. My plan was to grab a wheelchair when I got into work, but the idea holds no appeal to me. I’m fine with just a cane.
I’m getting a huge amount of sympathy, even from complete strangers. And almost everyone asked me how it happened. The truth has become increasingly dull and repetitive, so I’ve taken to embellishing the story a bit. The latest version includes five knife-wielding terrorists.
I usually go with bar fight, but I’ve never had to concoct a macho explanation for a foot injury. What’s rugged and manly, and involved risk of injury to the feet? Rugby? Putting out oil-well fires?
Sending healing podiatric vibes your way.