When the dog was tied up, my ex and I would torture her by putting the cat out. No, really. We had the dog on a runner thing - wire 1 running between the back door and the back fence, wire 2 attached to wire 1. We’d let the cat out had he’d sit just outside the dog’s leash, then suddenly run across the yard. The dog, of course, would take off after her til she got yanked back Stupid dog would do this for hours
My favorite trick to pull on my cats has been dubbed “twitchy-fur”. That’s when you sneak up on them while they are asleep and gently pull one or two hairs on their back or ribcage. The skin underneath starts to ripple and the cat wakes up and frantically tries to wash the itch away. You have to be quick because if the feline in question sees that you are the cause, you could end up wearing stripes.
Instead of feeding the dog peanut butter, try taffy. I did it to my dog, but it’s kind of hard to describe. He tried to open his mouth and realized it was stuck. After a few moments, he got free and his mouth flew open. Then he chomped back down and did it again. Took him forever to eat the stuff, but he loved it.
Just remembered one more thing. First I have to describe my ex’s house. There was an atrium in the middle, and the kitchen, living room, den, and computer room encircled it. She had a dog who loved to run in circles arounf this thing. But, if the furniture was moved he wouldn’t make it very far. The first time I saw him, he ran through the kitchen, computer room, den, and was turning the corner when he ran head on into a chair.
Not something she did on puropose, mind you, but funny nonetheless.
My dog goes nuts whenever my husband and I hug. He barks and jumps on us. He’s so jealous! We also like to put a blanket over his entire body, then start the “slap the face” game where he pretends to bite the hand. He gets a little more aggressive under the blanket though. Watching him try to get out from under the blanket is fun, too.
I used to have a cream colored Shar-pei named Sharpie that I played this game with. It drove him absolutely ape shit!
He had a rope toy that he loved. You would get him all riled up, then pretend to throw the toy. He would run in the direction you pretended to throw it, and you would hide. He would then search high and low for you, getting madder and more annoyed by the second. Eventually he’d find you, and if he was irritated enough, he’d give you a bite. Otherwise, he’d jump on you and take the toy away.
The scariest part it, I had that dog for 3 years and he never, ever figured it out. He ran in the direction you pretended to throw each and every time, and became furious when he’d find you hiding. Everyone who came over played it, and several went away bruised. Believe it or not, he loved to play. He would wag his tail after finding you and assaulting you, beg for treats, and bring you the toy back to you to play again. What a nutcase.
We had a cat named Homer. She was raised in a nursing home where they gave patients sedatives in their milk. Homer used to wait until the nurse was out of sight, then beg for a drink – they found her passed out in the middle of the floor many times.
All those drugs made her slightly psychotic. I left a sock on the floor of the hallway one day. I watched her stop dead in her tracks when she saw it, walk slowly up to it, crouching down with her nose extended, then LEAP 4 feet up and over the sock, landing on the other side of it, but still facing the sock!
To tease her, I would give her a small amount of tuna juice in one of those small, square, plastic containers. She invariably would get the container stuck on her head, and back around the house until something knocked the container off.
Our little black-and-white cat Sugar loved to “play sponge.” We had a little piece of sponge rubber, shaped like a wedge of Swiss cheese, we would throw across the room; she would go retrieve it and bring it back for us to throw again.
At one point we had lost the wedge and instead threw a small disk-shaped piece of foam rubber, like the thing women might use to apply Pancake make-up, that she would retrieve. One time my cousin Benny sneaked out to my car and brought in a larger piece of foam rubber–about 12 inches across–that I kept my portable cassette player on. (Long story.) Anyway, Benny would pretend to throw the little piece–and then throw the big one! Sugar ran over to it, saw it was a big one, and looked at Benny and me as if to say, What are you doing to me?
We miss that cat…
The first night I tried this on my dear departed Ching-Ching, it was priceless.
This little pug liked to catch bugs in the house, like spiders or crickets. This gave me the idea to bring home plastic bugs, tie them to a thread, and tease her with those. She’d chase them like a cat with a mouse, and I’d let her catch them and chew on them sometimes.
Once I put her on our big bed, put a plastic spider on the cover, and then put my hand underneath the cover just under the spider. Gave a little flick upwards with my fingers, and the spider leapt straight into the air. So did Ching! She’d lunge for that spider, jaws trembling, and “kill” it. No matter how often we played this game, she still acted like she thought the spider was real.
The general theory about my dog (just ask dpr) is that it was a drug smoking hippy in a past life and hasn’t realised it has been reincarnated as a puppy yet - thinks it’s all one bad trip. There is little we could do to my dog that wouldn’t spin it out so teasing it is a little superfluous.
However as she is tiny we quite regularly find that a housmate has placed the laundry basket over her head, dressed her in dolls clothes or hung a toy from the ceiling fan that she just can’t quite reach.
My dad’s Dalmatian is an endless source of amusement. Once we discovered that he would try to fetch thrown snowballs. He never figured out where they went…
One Christmas someone gave him a squeaky toy in the shape of a turkey leg, which was also supposed to smell like turkey. My dad didn’t think it smelled like turkey enough, so he soaked it in the turkey drippings from Christmas dinner just to be sure. The dog’s reaction was hilarious: he’d pounce on the toy, intending to eat it, then the toy would squeak and he’d jump back a foot and just stare at the toy in shock. Then he’d work up his nerve, move forward slowly, step on the toy again–squeak!–and jump back again. This went on for half an hour, until he finally “killed” the toy; he mangled it enough for it to stop squeaking.
Of course, the absolute best was on another Christmas, when someone tried to give him little dog booties. We got them on, eventually, and the dog spent a minute trying to stand without putting his feet on the ground like one of those lizards in the desert. Then he tried to eat the booties.
This works on cats and dogs. Just touch an ear lightly and the ear will “flick”. Repeat until the animal gets fed up and goes away.
This works on a lying dog. Just walk around and around the dog. He will follow you with his gaze, and when he can’t turn his neck any more, he’ll whip it around so he doesn’t lose one precious second in watching you. It’s during this “turn-around” time that you can play with his mind by suddenly reversing direction so he doesn’t know which way to turn his head.
When your dog is in another room, knock on a wall or table. The dog will come a-barking at whomever is (in the dog’s feeble mind) at the door.
If your dog notices something in your hand, put it to your mouth like you’re eating it. Make chewing sounds and say, "Mmmmm – this is so good! When the dog can stand it no more, present the object to the dog. He will sniff it. At that point, yell out “SHNORP!” and push the object into the dog’s nose.
If a dog watches you reading a book, take the book and say, “See the book?” When the dog sniffs, slam the book shut an inch from his nose. Much hilarity ensues.
If a dog watches you playing cards, take the deck and say, “See the cards?” When the dog sniffs, riffle the deck in the dog’s nose. Much hilarity ensues.
Citrus fruits are great. You obviously are eating it, so it can’t be another trick, right? Wrong. Take a bit of peel and present it to the dog, with the outside of the rind facing your victim. When the dog approaches, squeeze. The tart juice sprays into the dog’s nose and eyes, and you’ll find him rubbing his face against the couch for a few minutes afterward. This will instill a lifelong hatred of oranges.
Dog Mummenschanz! (If you’re unfamiliar with Mummenschanz, you can click here. Just get a blanket and toss it over your dog, or, much more preferably, dogs. Make sure the blanket is over their eyes. If you have two or more victims, they will present quite a comical sight, trying to back out from various angles and bumping into each other.
One phrase my dogs loved: “Wanna go for a walk?”
One phrase my dogs hated: “I’m gonna give you a bath!”
So…“Brandy? Wanna go for a bath?” Or, “Mollie – I’m gonna give you a walk!” Utter confusion (and hilarity) ensues.