Great responses so far! Exactly what I’m looking for.
I’ve been thinking about this for a while actually, trying to think through in my mind HOW two fleets of space ships, or even individual ships could fight it out realistically.
I think both fleets would have to WANT to give battle for it to work. Even with continuous drive ships you’d still need to match velocity/vector and orbital plane…something that would be easy to avoid if you really wanted too. So, say two fleets DID want to offer battle against each other…how would they do it? Long range: I think that realistically they’d use mostly missiles. They could be launched in stealth mode and coast ballistic ally until they reach some pre-determined range and then light off their drives to come in at very high speeds. Space craft would not be able to maneuver (due to the people on board) like a missile, so they would have to rely on EMC and maybe anti-missile defenses close in. Medium/Close range: Projectile weapons using stealth shells would be nearly impossible to detect/counter on ballistic courses. Perhaps some kind of beam weapons like high energy lasers and such, though I’m unsure if reflective surfaces could perhaps deflect this. Finally, I think boarding shuttles would be VERY useful for combat on board the ships themselves. I am thinking of this along the lines of the age of sail…or maybe even earlier.
I don’t think ‘shield’ would be possible at all, but certainly I don’t think one hit one kill would be likely either. Ships would be armored similarly to modern warships…maybe even heavier. They would have multiple airtight compartments and redundant systems so that any hit (that doesn’t hit the ammo/fuel bunkers) wouldn’t take the ship out. Simple military principals.
Why fight in space? Well, you’d be fighting for the major resources in a system…mostly the habitable planets and minerals and other resources. You wouldn’t want an enemy fleet to get close enough to your populated planets/colonies…say to drop rocks on them, or launch missiles, etc. So, you’d almost need to meet them as far out as you can. Attackers would need to close in on such targets TOO get into range to drop rocks etc.
I see attackers main strategy getting into such a position to cripple the defenders and enable them to launch an invasion to take those targets away…or completely destroy them (though I doubt this…THAT would be the whole point, taking habitable planets and such).
Fighters: Definitely I see these as viable. They would be similar to the missiles in fact, drone launched from carriers by perhaps controlled like our current generation of unmanned recon craft…but armed obviously. They could be armed with missiles and projectile weapons, and perhaps even armed with bombs so that after making their attack pass they simply crash into the enemy ships…after all, once they are passed (though would necessarily have more velocity than the ships they are attacking), they would just drift off into space otherwise…it would be way too much work to kill velocity, turn around and come back (even assuming they would have power for such things…which I doubt).
Distances: Definitely a problem. You would have to stage your defensive fleets in bases as far out as you could. You’d have to send out a lot of probes and scouts to give them the most time to react they could get. And if we assume there is no light speed or warp/wormhole insta travel you SHOULD get plenty of advanced warning I’d think…anything massive enough to threaten a system would be big enough to detect relatively far out. The attackers of course would need to bring everything with them. I would envision a huge ‘station’ with the attack craft perhaps tied together via static lines. They would probably need to have some kind of hibernation capabilities to put the majority of the crew to sleep and just have a rotating maintenance crew.
Thread is going great! Thanks everyone. Guess I picked the right forum for this. 
-XT