We would never have had these great quotes:
“Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” - Winston Churchill
“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” - Frank Sinatra
“The problem with some people is that when they aren’t drunk, they’re sober.” - William Butler Yeats
“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” - Ernest Hemingway
“A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.” - W.C. Fields
“Work is the curse of the drinking classes.” - Oscar Wilde
“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” - Henny Youngman
“When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let’s all get drunk, and go to heaven.” - Brian O’Rourke
“He was a wise man who invented beer.” - Plato
“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” - Benjamin Franklin
“If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.” - Jack Handy
“You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.” - Frank Zappa
“Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.” - Kaiser Wilhelm II
“Malt does more than Milton can to justify God’s ways to man” - A.E. Housman
“I drink to make other people interesting.” - George Jean Nathan
“I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.” - Abraham Lincoln
“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.” - George Burns
“It’s like gambling somehow. You go out for a night of drinking and you don’t know where you’re going to end up the next day. It could work out good or it could be disastrous. It’s like the throw of the dice.” - Jim Morrison
“Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.” - Mark Twain
“I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on.” - Oscar Levant
“When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.” - Jimmy Breslin
“Not drunk is he who from the floor
Can rise alone and still drink more;
But drunk is they, who prostrate lies,
Without the power to drink or rise”
“The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.” - P.J. O’Rourke
“Beer is not a good cocktail-party drink, especially in a home where you don’t know where the bathroom is.” - Billy Carter
“Something has been said for sobriety but very little.” - John Berryman
“For art to exist, for any sort of aesthetic activity or perception to exist, a certain physiological precondition is indispensable: intoxication.” - Friedrich Nietzsche
“When men drink, then they are rich and successful and win lawsuits and are happy and help their friends. Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine, so that I may wet my mind and say something clever.” - Aristophanes
“To alcohol: the cause of - and solution to - all of life’s problems.” - Homer J. Simpson