I am not of the Jewish faith, nor do I, to the best of my knowledge, have any Jewish ancestry. I never had much of a religious upbringing and to the extent that I consider myself to be anything, i’m an atheist.
That being said, i’ve always felt a sort of camaraderie with the Jewish people. It’s nothing short of admirable the way that they’ve survived persecution and ostracism and hatred over thousands of years, and yet managed to retain their distinct identity as a culture and a people. I know the Bible well enough, and the Old Testament stories have always been the ones I found the most inspirational.
With that in mind, i’ve found the story of Passover particularly inspirational ever since I first learned a little about it in 6th grade. I’ve read a few different versions of the Haggadah on the net every few years when Passover comes around, and i’ve often felt like I would enjoy the experience of attending a Seder and taking part in that reminiscence.
As Passover is coming up next week, i’ve found myself thinking about it again, and I wonder - if I, as a non-Jew, wanted to attend a Seder, how would I go about doing it? Are there such things as group Seders sponsored by Jewish organizations that welcome any comers? Would I be able to call a local synagogue (i’m assuming i’d need to talk to a Reform group) and find a family interested in hosting a stranger? Would I just have to know someone?
What Krokodil said. Seders are usually family affairs. We’ve invited some non-Jewish friends to ours some years. So, if there’s someone you know, ask 'em.
There are some organizations that have seders for large groups. The Hillel Group on most large university campuses usually holds seders. My suggestion is to be honest, call them and tell them your situation and ask.
Step 1. Find a Jew.
Step 2. Ask them if they’re having a passover seder.
Step 3. Say, “so, I’ve always been curious about seders and I like free food. Can I come?”
Step 4. Prepare to be exceptionally bored as some old guy reads about how this night is different from every other night, yadda yadda bullshit bullshit, as the hostess places course after course of delicious food in front of you which you are not allowed to eat until the completion of yet another absurd ritual.
In 1991 my family had the (non-Jewish) commander of a Patriot battery over for our Seder. He showed up in uniform, and seemed to have a great time.
It depends on who you’re doing it with. My family always read the Haggadah in turns, with each participant reading a paragraph, and then everyone discussing it/telling jokes about it. You can ask for a bilingual Haggadah if you don’t read Hebrew.
Yup, what they said. We have people over every year for Seder. Ours is not the most traditional, however, as my Jewish SO isn’t terribly observant these days.
Or find a Hillel group on your local campus. Ours here always celebrates the holidays for students away from home. As far as I know, anyone is welcome.
You crack me up, Krokodil!
I’m not Jewish, but many, many “moons ago”, I was engaged to a girl that was. IIRC, the family was what was termed “Reformed Jews” (as opposed to Orthodox, or Ultra Orthodox) Consequently, I attended more than one Seder. My recall of the particular details, ie: the food served, and the signifigance of each dish, is pretty hazy, at best. But I do seem to recall the fact that the front door of the house was deliberately left, wide open. And that there was an allusion, that it was left open so that any who wished, may join in the Seder. I’m sure that there are some Dopers that are WAY more knowledgeable on the subject, than I.
All in all though, I found it to be a very pleasant experience.
(And the food was pretty good, too. Most of it, anyway.;))
Thanks for the advice so far. Neither of the colleges in Olympia have a Hillel that hosts Seders (one being very small and its Hillel new, and the other being a Catholic school), but the former’s website referred me to this center in Seattle which is holding a public Seder. It’s a $50 admission, but I can afford it and assuming I can get Tuesday evening off of work I think I might attend.
As I mentioned before, i’ve read an English haggadah on the net before, but my understanding of what would be expected of me is a bit limited. How would I be expected to dress? Is there any Hebrew I should be expected to know or be able to recite for the call-and-response sections? (This appears to be a fairly liberal group, but I know at least part of the ceremony is almost always in Hebrew). Are there any particular bits of etiquette I should be expected to do or not do?
The entire point of the Seder is to carefully explain what’s going on. It is an educational tool at its heart. Nothing is “expected” of you except to come and listen, and do as instructed when you are instructed to do something. Note that If you can’t do something ,because of your health, that appears to be a required part of the ceremony (such as drink wine if you are an alcoholic, or eat parsley if you’re deathly allergic) DON’T. It is NOT RUDE or against Jewish law to avoid doing things that are harmful to your health.
The hagaddah has everything in it that will happen at the Seder. Some parts might get skipped, if so the leader will tell where to find the next reading. Considering that the seder leader is a noted interfaith expert, there will most likely be transliterations for any prayers recited in Hebrew. Even if there isn’t, if people are reciting a particular prayer in Hebrew and you can’t follow along, just do what they are doing (lifting a glass, not lifting a glass, etc. ), and say “amen” at the end. If you lose your place in the hagaddah, just ask your neighbor quietly. As long as you are acting within the bounds of normal good manners, you’re fine.
When I was in college, I was visiting a Jewish buddy of mine during this time of year, and was naturally just invited to attend their ceder. It was no big deal that I wasn’t Jewish. In fact, it turned out I was the youngest person there, so I got to ask the questions. Again, no big deal. Of course, these guys were Reform Jews, if that matters.
I thought it was very interesting. Not that I’m religious or anything, but having been raised Catholic, it was sorta like being at The Last Supper.
You could talk to any group. Where do you live? I’m sure some Dopers can hook you up with someone to talk to. Passover is the PERFECT time for a Jewish meal invite. We were strangers in a strange land, so we like strangers at our table. If you were in Denver or Monterey, I’d invite you over!
Dress nicely. Not over the top, just “church clothes”. If they’re handing out yarmulkes at the door, put one on.
Be polite. Basic good manners. They’ll give instructions and explanations for any specifics of the service that you should participate in, so you’ll know what to do. Wikipedia has a decent rundown of the service under “seder”.
Since it’s a paid affair, you shouldn’t need to bring anything, I wouldn’t think.
You will be drinking at least four cups of wine, so be prepared. If you have to drive, only take small amounts.
It’s possible that the blessings will all be done in English (or Hebrew and English), since it’s an interfaith service. Any Hebrew will be transliterated into a semi-pronounceable form. And if you can’t figure it out, just mumble. No one will know the difference.
Ah, Seattle. I think I can help you with that one. If you go to the Hillel bit, just keep in mind it will be pretty liberal, though the kids may think it’s odd to have a Gentile there. Ironically, my best friend lives in Seattle but he’ll be in Denver next week! If you can’t afford the $50 ticket, then I’d suggest asking politely for a discount and explain your position.
Haggadot differ. Most have Hebrew and English. Some are heavier in Hebrew. Some are kid-friendly. Some are gay-friendly. You get the idea.
The order (“seder”) is the same. The blessings are almost always in transliterated English. If you are in a situation where you do not know a blessing (such as washing of the hands), someone can say it for you.
As far as dress, it depends where you are. When in Rome…business casual is appropriate, but if you are at a more conservative Seder, you may want to up the ante if you are female.
If you really really want to understand the “feel” of the seder, go to someone’s home. I’m serious. I can try to find a Jewish household in or near the area for you, but it’s pretty easy -
[ul]
[li]Post on Craigslist [/li][li]Email a rabbi or a secretary of a local synagogue and ask (politely) if they know of a family who would be willing to have a guest at their home for Passover. Explain that you would like to know more about the Jewish culture and have respect for the holiday, the people and their customs. Say that you understand that a seder meal is a family-centered event and you would be honored to be a guest in one’s home, and if he/she knows of someone that can accommodate you, you would be very grateful . I know of NO rabbi who wouldn’t try to help you out.[/li][li]Contact a local Chabad organization. The Chabadink can be a little whacky, yeah, but if you want that traditional Jewish experience :giggle:, you’d be in for it![/li][/ul]
Customs:
[li]Males and females who are not family don’t touch each other in Orthodox circles. It’s OK to wave instead of shake hands.[/li]
[li]If you bring food or wine, make sure it is pre-packaged and kosher (UD to be safe). DON’T BRING FOOD WITH CHOMETZ IN IT! Make sure it says “Kosher for Passover”.[/li]
[li]Don’t preach…or compare Judaism to another religion[/li]
[li]It’s OK to ask questions. :)[/li]
[li]Read up on what the Seder is about before you go - Seders have always been teaching experiences for me, so I always walk away with additional info/history that isn’t on Wiki.[/li]
[li]Hmm…Don’t eat before you’re told. Hah. That’s why you read the rules of a Seder. Don’t down that first glass of wine because you got thirsty.[/li]
[*]Speaking of eating…I don’t want to force chopped liver on anyone, but try to eat what’s on your plate. :o