Change the team name whenever a franchise moves to a new city. No more Tennessee Oiler nonsense. If you gotta move, change identities.
Speed Golf. Your score reflects the number of strokes taken, and a bonus or penalty based on how long you took. Imagine hot rod golf carts.
You obviously don’t have the same worldly experience as I, so trust me on this – severed heads don’t bounce very well.
One way to improve basketball, though, have them dribble an oblong shaped ball (not quite as pointy on the ends as a football). It should make all that dribbling much more fun to watch.
[ul]
[li]In order to make the ‘sport’ worthwhile to the average viewer, all curling matches should begin with the following statement: "Release the ravenous wolves!"[/li]
[li]I think Ethilrist has it right - the combination of sports would go a long way to their improvement. I’d like to add one to the aforementioned list - How about combining the Battlebot area with floor gymnastics?[/li]
[li]For all jumping sports (pole vaulting, high and long jump…) I have two words: Shark Tank.[/li]
[li]I think more sports should take advantage of rocket technology.[/li]
[li]All cyclists should be required to attach a baseball card to their wheels.[/li]
[li]Fencers should be allowed to sharpen their blades.[/li]
[li]Teams sports should integrate more fan participation. I envision that after signing appropriate waivers and statements of qualification, one or more fans for each team will be randomly selected to come down to the field, suit up and play along.[/li]
[li]Where is professional dodge-ball?[/li]
[li]Obstacles, Obstacles, Obstacles.[/li]
[li]The cannonball and the bellyflop should be considered legitimate dives and scored appropriately.[/li][/ul]
I have more, but I have to go get the pumas ready for the next road race.
Basketball: Shorten the game to 5 minute halfs. The winner is usually whoever scores last anyway. This way they could cram more games in the season and still have the excitement.
Basketball: Actually call travelling and carrying violations, stop having so many TV timeouts at the ends of games, limit total number of timeouts more, allow teams to decline fouls.
Pro Football: Make the rules more like college football, stop promoting parity as much.
College Football: Change the Halo Violation to more than a 5 yard penalty, never listen to idiots that want a playoff system instead of bowl games.
Baseball: Realign the divisions, get rid of interleague play.
All Sports: STOP EXPANDING, follow the rule books more closely.
They have an endurance golf league already. You run between the shots. But they don’t carry their own clubs anymore so that really sucks. And people still shoot mid 70s and run it in like 40 minutes. You get strokes added for taking too long.
And just for the record I don’t want topless womens golf either, I can only think of one or two that I would even want to see. Now tennis on the other hand…
xizor wrote:
I’ve got a better idea for football:
Eliminate the game clock entirely!
Instead of having each quarter last 15 minutes, have it last 25 “plays.” (The PLAY clock stays, but the GAME clock goes.)
This will eliminate:[ul][li]Players trying to get out of bounds to stop the clock[/li][li]Using time-outs as a clock management tool[/li][li]Hurry-up no-huddle plays[/li][li]Hurry-up no-huddle plays in which the quarterback merely throws the ball to the ground to stop the clock[/li][li]Close calls where the ball carrier is tackled near the sideline and the officials have to guess whether he was tackled in bounds (thus keeping the clock running) or out of bounds (thus stopping the clock)[/li]The two 2-minute warning time-outs[/ul]
and how about sychronised pole vaulting. With vaulters approaching from opposite sides natch.
And where’s uderwater unicycling I hear you ask? here!
From: The Whole F’n Federation <no_wcw@hotmail.com>
To: tnm@ruizexport.com, tnm7list@onelist.com
Subject: Something…
TOP TEN REASONS WHY SPORTS SHOULD BE LIKE WRESTLING
10. Really bad players could leave for a while, and come back with a new name and number to become one of the greatest in their sport.
9. Every sport would have cheerleaders. Even curling.
8. Basketball would be played exactly the way the Harlem Globetrotters intended it.
7. Hockey teams would be split into two groups: Americans and Canadians and would vie for control of the NHL.
6. Boxers bite off the ears of their opponents when the ref wasn’t looking.
5. There would always be a couple teams that never won. Ever.
4. All-star baseball players would be escorted to the plate by stunningly beautiful women with huge, fake cans.
3. Football coaches would all have flamboyant personalities and help out their team by distracting the ref.
2. Players from other teams could run in and interfere with other matches, causing heated rivalries and numerous rematches.
It wasn’t my idea, it was my son’s. And BTW I think the rules of sport should be changed to make it compulsory that everyone has Shawn Michael’s ass. Or any ice hockey player’s ass…or, well I think you have the idea.
BTW, we have a female golfer in Australia who did a Playboy spread…I’m sure gaspode can provide her name, I’m too lazy to look it up.
Nonsense. There’s no more need for fighting in hockey than there is is baseball or basketball. It’s ridiculous and a travesty of sport.
No … women’s knickerless tennis
Did I just post that … I need help
I can think of very few sports that would not be improved with the addition of randomly placed land mines. Baseball, ice hockey, auto racing and, above all, golf would all become much more enjoyable to watch with just this one little change.
Team sports: one substitution from the bench. After that, you have to pull someone from the stands.
Ski-jumping: allow checking, like in For Your Eyes Only.
Auto Racing: I’ve always been a big fan of Car Wars. 'nuff said.
–sublight.
Baseball would be better if hitting a runner with a thrown ball was an out.
It’s funny you should mention a gymnastics/ballet combination, I was telling my wife tonight BattleBots would be better if it was somebody from death row armed with a crowbar in the cage with the robot. If he wins, he gets life in prison. If he loses, we get to see how those saws and pneumatic hammers work on flesh!
Basketball - do away with dribbling, add tackling. Actually played it this way with some friends once - leads to low-scoring highly bruised players, and it’s fun.
Baseball: EVERY NIGHT sponsor a “Kick a Millionaire in the Nuts” Night. You want full stadiums? Between innings pull a seat number out of a hat. Then pick a player who makes more a $1mil per year. The lucky fan gets to kick the player (sans cup)in the nuts. Player MUST continue to play. Fans are allowed to wear steel-toed boots, but no spikes. Fans can even dig a hole in front of the player to get a deeper swing.
Soccer: NO MORE TIES. At the end of regulation time, plat until a goal is scored. Don’t worry, we have all night.
It’s not a matter of whether or not fighting is really necessary to the game - we’re talking about entertainment value here.
some ideas to improve football:
Make the field concave up at about 20 degrees with the lowest point being the 50 yard line. It makes those last fifty yards a lot tougher and touchdowns become more valuable.
In order to combat the lower scores resulting from rule change #1, award each coach the option of calling three “automatic touchdowns” per game. Team merely has to take the field, coach throws his blue flag and his team is credited with a touchdown.
Each team has one ultra-valuable “automatic win.” Request for “automatic win” must be submitted to the commissioner’s office prior to kick off. This can be especially frustrating to teams making cross country road trips only to be hit with the devastating “automatic win” from the opposing team.
RickJ. said:
Well, in basketball, no there isn’t. All of those wanna be rappers that think they’re so hard (Kobe, Iverson) act like they’re going to fight once everyone is on the floor and holding them back.
In baseball and hockey there is absolutley a need for it. It’s like a system of checks and balances. You can’t just let pitchers go up there and hurl a hard ball 90 mph at someone’s head without them knowing there’s going to be retaliation coming. Same with hockey, those guys are skating around with sticks and can get wild with them at times, those guys need to know that if they’re going to be reckless with their sticks they’re going to have to watch out for themselves. Yes, stick work and bean ball games go on, but because of fighting it isn’t nearly as common.
Badtz Maru wrote:
Funny you should mention that.
The game of “townball,” which many consider to be baseball’s immediate ancestor, DID allow you to put out a runner by hitting him with a thrown ball. (Sometimes this would cause him to be “put out” in more ways than one!)
Five years from now every team in MLB must be playing on natural grass with a payroll of $50 million or less. Any team not complying falls victim to unexpansion. Even if its my beloved Yankees.
IIRC, putting a runner out by pegging him with the ball was known as “soaking.”