Baseball:
Double the size of the playing field.
Basketball:
Lower the hoops to 6 feet high.
Soccer:
Allow use of hands.
?
Baseball: Add a play clock and each half inning will be 8 minutes long instead of 3 outs.
Tennis: Randomly weighted balls.
Randomly tensioned(?) racquets. Players pick one from a bin.
And call it rugby?
Baseball:
Allow a hitter to be walked by a wave of the manager’s hand.
Allow a non-fielding hitter to hit in place of the pitcher.
Specified innings start with a runner on second base.
Allow instant replay to dictate when a baserunner’s hand comes one millimeter off a base for one nanosecond when he was clearly safe.
Football:
Rule a touchdown when a runner never enters the end zone (i.e., “imaginary plane”)
Basketball:
Allow traveling.
Why would I want to ruin a sport?
Professional wrestling:
Enforce the rules
Baseball–the Batter is allowed to carry the bat with him, as he runs around the diamond. He may try to strike the basemen with the bat, if they try to tage him out. If one is rendered unconscious by the blow, this counts as an extra runs scored by the team at bat.
Well, to even up that scenario, a strike is called only when the batter is hit by a pitch.
Professional golf: make them play on Holey Moley inspired courses. 18 holes where they risk falling into the water, wear silly costumes, etc. I am there for that.
Ice Hockey - no skates
Golf…
Already ruined.
I’m at a loss with respect to ruining golf. Pretty much any change I can think of would improve the game: i.e. Introduce a time limit and make competitors run while carrying their own clubs, make it a contact sport by establishing a shot clock upon which the opponent can tackle the person at the tee, allow crowds to jeer the players “Swing golfer-golfer-golfer! He-cannot-he-cannot-he-cannot swing golfer-golpher!”
Now, ruining American football is easy. Allow players to try to draw a penalty by rolling around on the ground in feigned agony the second a player on the opposite team brushes past them.
Chess: each player’s turn is over as soon as they blink.
In baseball hitting the ball very far is fine. But not too far. If the ball goes over the fence, foul or fair territory, the batter is out and so is anyone on base. Yes, it is possible for 4 players to be out in the same play. The extra out is carried in to the next inning.
Hey how about Sandlot rules? If you hit the ball over the fence, you have to go get it while avoiding being mauled by large dogs.
American Pro Football:
Disallow use of hands. Make it true football. But keep the ball the same shape. That would ruin the game real good.
Baseball: let each team have one member in the batting order whose only function is to bat in place of the pitcher (who is permitted to return to the field), and doesn’t play a defensive position.
That was almost the case for some historic ballparks. For instance, the Huntington Avenue Grounds where the Red Sox played before Fenway Park was built, had a centerfield fence 635 feet from home plate.
The technology probably exists to allow teams to vary the park’s dimensions between or even during games. Big power hitter coming up for the opposing team? Move the fences out 200 feet. Or bring them in when your weak-hitting lineup comes to bat.
Ballparks were definitely more fun in the old days.
“The playing fields themselves were often an adventure; outfielders, some playing without walls behind them, had to contend with slopes, trees, swamps, lakes and dangerous debris left over from the garbage dumps some ballparks were built upon. The original Polo Grounds in New York featured two fields, each backing up against one another; it wasn’t uncommon for an outfielder’s concentration to be disrupted by an invading ball—and the player in pursuit of it—from the game behind him. When the city decided to build a road through the park in 1889, it left the New York Giants—suddenly without a home—to briefly play at a roughened facility on Staten Island that included an off-Broadway stage in right field. The actors hung out on stage during the games, not so much to watch but to protect the props from an incoming drive.”
I would definitely be in favor of allowing catcalling and other attempts to distract golfers and tennis players. Why cater to those prima donnas?