Darling,
Could you please stop being so considerate and senstive and kind and generous and giving? Could you please stop thinking of my needs first and always considering my point of view? Could you please quit being so handsome and dishy, and buff? Could you please try to be less intellegent, and more neanderthilian? Could you plese quit buying me expensive gifts for no reason whatsoever?
Really, you’re making me look bad.
I love my life.
Janie’s SO: “I stopped off at the market on the way home from work and picked up the crackers, veggies, bread, cheese, crisps and beer we need for the party”.
Me: “Crisps and what?”
Janie’s SO: “I stopped off at the market on the way home from work and picked up the crackers, veggies, bread, cheese, crisps and beer we need for the party”.
Me: “AAAARGGH! You did it again!”
Actually, that line about having to be the financial reality meter hit home. I’d like to be a dreamer too. In fact, I used to be prone to be rather spendthrift. These days, however, I just get to be the grumpy old miser. It’s either that or poverty.
Small thing, not really an issue. But if we’re bringing up the little things…
pan
Most of us would agree, Honey, but you were talking to Coldie there. For him and his SO, 3000 miles would be practically local.
That should be your sig line.
Heh. 5569 miles as the crow flies! I know, insanity. I never thought I’d say this, but bless Air France for sending me my tickets today!
[sub]24 more nights, woo![/sub]
Dear Snookums,
Fart on my foot again, you die.
Thanks
My dearest,
I fully intended to get jiggy with you last night; we had even discussed our “date” during the day. However, when our conversation prior to going to bed consists of an hour’s worth of reminiscing over your old boyfriends and the dates you had (up to and including “He didn’t mean anything to me; we just used each other for sex”), then don’t be surprised when I’m not particularly amorous once we hit the covers.
I laugh at your easy trip Coldie, according to that same site I have 9596 miles (15443 km) between myself and my SO.
Darling, please stop thinking that I will sweat less in our sweltering heat if you tell me all about the snow there. It is not helpful and while we are at it, you really are not so tough living through your harsh winters because everything is heated, I know, I have been there in winter, I have never been so comfortable. I saw you shiver in my unheated bathroom in our wimpy winter and I was not the one who bought a mat to protect feet from the tiles when on the toilet now was I?
Oh, so that’s how she feels about me, eh? See if I ever get used for sex again!
…wait a minute!
Dearest Darling,
Remember last night when the temperature dropped after we went to sleep? And in the middle of the night it got a lot colder in the room? And I was sending you psychic brainwave messages saying “Please please please get up and get another blanket, because I’m sleepy and cold and don’t want to get up out of bed and put my feet on the chilly floor” …
And then you DID get my psychic brainwave message! You did get up and get an extra blanket so I didn’t have to get up and subject my feet to the dreaded Cold Floor Syndrome!
But next time, please listen more closely – the psychic brainwave message said “get the WHITE FUZZY blanket” not “the BLUE QUILTY blanket.”
Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.
[sub]Yeah, it’s hard to be me, I know.[/sub]
Sig line, hell. I’m going to get it tattooed on my ass.
I tried and everbody took my wife’s side.
Hose them down with a squirt gun–works wonders and it doesn’t cause any lasting harm.
Sweetie, a simple “yes” or “no” is an acceptable answer to any “yes” or “no” question I ask you.
Me: “Do you want to go out tonight?”
She: “Well, it’s really up to you, I’m good either way. We can stay home and have dinner or we could go out. It really doesn’t matter to me one way or another. Then again, I think it’s dollar beer night at Vinnies, but we can stay home if you want to. Just whatever you wanna do is fine with me. All the kids are finished with their homework, or I’ve got some steaks in the fridge. What do you think, do you wanna go out?”
Quit eating those big ass pickles!!!
They make the whole house stink! And they’re so crunchy, they drown out the T.V.!
Ok ok I’ll admit it - its really 2,995 … I said 3,000 for the sympathy vote !!!
But still… ya’d think he’d move his ass over here - if even for the Guinness and Cadburys choc lol… 