A pit of me (maybe TMI?)

The BBQ Pit
1

I’m sorry for the lack of decorum in making my very first post in the pit. (Maybe it takes away from my rudeness by offering that I’ve been lurking since the AOL days?) Also, apologies for being gauche and posting with no sleep in the past 29 hours; the job pitting will be posted in another eight or so years.

Background: This was the first man I have ever hit on. It was two months after the disolution of a seven-year relationship. I liked his voice and he is 21 years my senior. Settled and mature, I’m thinking. Soon, I find that he’s stupid. Not nice of me, I know. But really, he is stupid. He truly believes that stars are planets reflecting the sun’s light (you know, like the moon!), women were created by a swiped rib and -TMI part- during intercourse the fleshy thing he may bump into is my little penis coming out to meet him. I’m so sorry for typing that, but fer cryin’ out loud, how does one respond to those comments? My way to respond is to introduce him to this site. Then I have to explain what ignorance is. And I"m still with this guy.

Mid-ground: I partake in many serious discussions with him until he interrupts with belching or announcing that one of the dogs has passed gas. HUGE spat because I walked out of a Gallagher comedy show. We got free tickets and I was excited because Gallagher is fun on TV. Live, he was a sexist, racist, homosexual-bashing pig. Not cool. But the old man didn’t leave when I did; he wasn’t offended by the show. And I’m still with the imbecile.

Tonight: I honestly don’t remember how the yelling started. It did end with me screeching (like only neurotic women can) that “dogs fart!, women do not steal ribs!, stars aren’t reflections of the sun’s light! and I HAVE NEVER HAD A LITTLE PENIS INSIDE OF ME OTHER THAN YOURS!” The old man is soundly sleeping in my bed right now.

In the spirit of the pit (to myself): you are an idiotic, slimy piece of cunt muscle. You are wasting your lesser-educated brain on a leech of the world’s oxygen supply. You are so insecure that you would rather be associated with the likes of the worm-infested waste of your animals than be alone. Grow up and grow some balls; you know better than to tolerate ignorance let alone subject yourself to stupidity.

Thank you for your time. I feel better.

2

=(

good pitting, but a shame you are still with him.

don’t suppose leaving him is possible? You really deserve someone with a few braincells to rub together…

3

Why are you still with him?

4

hoosier mama, there’s nothing I can tell you that you don’t already know about this situation, so I will offer only this one piece of advice: Listen to yourself. Go back and reread your post, as many times as it takes. You know what you have to do, even if it is difficult.

I have to echo the sentiments of aruvqan… it sounds to me like you deserve better.

5

Nah, I don’t think you’re an idiotic, slimy piece of cunt muscle. People make mistakes, it happens. Beating yourself up about it isn’t going to help you stop being so insecure, which is a large part of why you’re still with him, right?

Repeat after me:

Good dick is not worth putting up with ignorance.

Arm candy is not worth putting up with ignorance.

Financial security…well, that’s almost worth it, depending on circumstance, but you’re young and bright and quite likely more than capable of making it on your own and being much happier and fulfilled struggling alone than with this putz.

Do what you know you’ve gotta do.

6

What a hoosier.

:wink:

7

Isn’t it true though, that the clitoris and penis start out as the same thing when one is in the womb, and the reason it gets larger or not is due to hormones? I think both are made out of the same type of tissue, and have the same type of nerve endings. I don’t think I’d call it a “little penis” though, that’s just kinda creepy. :dubious:

8

I’m shocked in this day and age anyone would believe that the stars are actually planets reflecting light! What a total dumbass! We all know stars are giant fiery cauldrons hung from the blanket covering up heaven! Geez. Drop the loser, already. :wink:

9

I feel your pain. It sounds to me like you know that you don’t want to be with him, so what’s the problem? Kick him to the curb, show him the door, boot his ass. “Mmmm, bye-bye, now.”

Or are you living with him? That does complicate things.

10

Great screen name, Mama.

I read a great piece of advice once; it’s better to be alone than wish you were.

11

That is true. However, when I read the OP, I interpreted the part of anatomy (since she refers to it being “inside her” later) as the cervix that’s being bumped during intercourse. I agree though, it’s still kinda creepy either way…

12

He must be hung like a mule!

13

I was thinking the same thing. Or he must be a great cook.

14

Or he has an 18" long prehensile tongue and can breathe through his ears.

15

Man, I hope I get this response right. Thank you to everyone for your replies. I’ve done as suggested and seriously considered why I remain with this man. Here’s what I came up with.

  1. He’s genuinely a kind, loving and protective partner. Awwwww.
    1 1/2. My animals like him.
  2. He’s pretty amusing. Kind of like watching a dog trying to eat peanut butter. See story below (long).
  3. I care about him.

This actually happened this morning.

Silly Man (SM) flies from the bedroom like a bat out of hell, shouting: The trashmen are coming! The trashmen are coming! (hee-hee, ha-ha)

I guess I (bitchy woman - BW) wasn’t suitably impressed.

SM (quite agitated): Didn’t you hear me?! The trashmen are coming!
BW (with “the look”): Doll, I’m pretty sure the whole neighborhood heard you.
SM: Yeah, but did you?
BW: Middle finger salutation.
SM (hopping foot to foot): What side of the street do the garbage guys normally come down?
BW (irritated): Both.
SM (nearing hysterics): OH MY GOD, I have to get out there!!!
BW (calmly): I don’t believe that normal society considers trashmen a threat nor subscibes to your over-reactive response to the presence of said trashmen. (Yes, I’m a dick.)

SM doesn’t respond. He’s busily grunting while trying to maneuver his undershort clad body into my housecoat. He begins panting in the attempt to force his nasty feet into my Eeyore slippers. Then he is momentarily stunned by his inability to open the front door. The deadbolt is no mean feat for my hero. But not to worry! SM places one semi-slippered foot on the wall, grasps the door handle with both hands and twists and tugs with all his might. The door frame busts and the trim falls down around his ears. I’m too busy laughing to get angry. My womanly-cloaked savior doesn’t give up; he rams into the screen door, rebounds and without hesitation or my instruction, construes how to get it open. I belittle myself to howling at the sight of him rushing outside, grabbing the trash bin and, with housecoat flapping in the wind, pushing/pulling the bin to the curb as quickly as Eeyore will allow the poor SM to shuffle. SM manages to get back inside unaccosted by the trashmen and tries to slam shut the storm door. It bounces back open (the still engaged deadbolt hits the broken frame) and dings him in the arm. SM leans against the wall gasping like a hooked chub and wipes sweat from his brow.

BW (wiping tears from her face): Just cause you chased the trashmen away today doesn’t mean they won’t be back next Monday.
SM (crestfallen): How many Mondays are left?
BW: All of 'em sweetheart.

I haven’t been able to stop giggling all day. Once upon a time I opined that smarts were not important as long as I was treated well. I was wrong. Now I’m an IQ snob. It’s not right to be mean to him for his being a bonehead when I’ve been stupid enough to stay with him. Poo on me. It really is better to be alone than to wish for it (thanks for that wake-up). When he gets home from bingo - yes, bingo - we’ll have the talk of “It’s not you, it’s… Okay, it is you.” Again, thank you all for allowing me to share. I’ve finally got it all off my chest and will slip back into lurk mode.

– hoosier mama
(Admittedly, I didn’t get it until a friend told me how it sounds. I live in IN and I’m a mama to five animals. Obviously, I’m also stupid; I prefer to be considered not quite young enough for today’s slang.)

BTW, cervix. Generally speaking, it’s easily accesible and I promise, it is not a little penis (as the clitoris - correctly noted - may be considered in an early fetus sort of way).

BTW again, to Silly Man - not that you read anything beyond your horoscope and Family Circus: it’s ludicrous, NOT lunedicrist. Yes, I’m 100% sure that living things will one day stop living. Yes, I’m 100% sure that Native Americans were NOT baptised to become Native Americans. If you haven’t read the Bible, please don’t try to quote it (I’m 100 % sure that a freedom of speech clause is not written into the Bible). When my parrot screeches “asshole” he really isn’t speaking directly to you (I say it and he mimics) so quit screeching back at him. Trust me when I say that bump-drafting has nothing to do with the military (and Dale Jr. isn’t going to Iraq). When I ask you if it’s painful to be stupid, don’t answer. That’s all.

16

Wait-he reads Family Circus? (and not just out of habit when skimming the cartoons?)

DUMP HIS ASS!!!

17

Ha! I heart you, even though I am a born and bred Boilermaker. Our love shall never speak its name.

Guinistasia - HA!

18

Whoops, I apologize for misspelling your name, Guin.

19

Eh, don’t sweat it-everyone does.

20

Yep, sometimes saying just saying/writing it out gets you to the final realization that you really can’t stand it anymore.

Is it weird to say ‘best wishes’ for a breakup? As in, I hope the two of you can disengage with as little drama and hurt feelings as possible, eh?

Yeah, that’s weird, well intentioned but weird. Apparently there’s a reason Hallmark doesn’t make a card for this.

Please don’t slip away into lurkerdom, though! I like you. :slight_smile: