Humor in the Bible

There was a column on humor in the Bible in which someone said there is none and you found a few humorous things. I found some more that you might want to see. Most Biblical humor is comprised of sinners making speeches that makes them look like utter fools; the English translations minimize this of course. They should be read aloud in the dumbest voice possible. The book of Isaiah is the best place to find these.

Irony of drunks

Proverbs 23:34-35 Yes, you will be like one who lies down in the midst of the sea, Or like one who lies at the top of the mast, saying: “They have struck me, but I was not hurt; They have beaten me, but I did not feel it. When shall I awake, that I may seek another drink”

It may not sound all that funny when you read it, but can you imagine a movie in which Jim Carey gets drunk on a ship and stammering around finds his way to the mast, climbs up to it and twirls around on it a few times yelling “They stuck me… but…I.[huge stupid grin]…was not hurt…They beat and… I…[crazy flailing of the limbs]… didn’t feel it… When shall I awake, that I may seek…[look both ways with shifty eyes]…another drink” and after saying such a thing in his hilarious voice he tumbles into the ocean drunk off his butt. Now who wouldn’t find that funny?

Irony of idolaters

Isaiah 44:13-17 The craftsman stretches out his rule, He marks one out with chalk; He fashions it with a plane, He marks it out with the compass, And makes it like the figure of a man, According to the beauty of a man, that it may remain in the house. He cuts down cedars for himself, And takes the cypress and the oak; He secures it for himself among the trees of the forest. He plants a pine, and the rain nourishes it. Then it shall be for a man to burn, For he will take some of it and warm himself; Yes, he kindles it and bakes bread; Indeed he makes a god and worships it; He makes it a carved image, and falls down to it. He burns half of it in the fire; With this half he eats meat; He roasts a roast, and is satisfied. He even warms himself and says, "Ah! I am warm, I have seen the fire."And the rest of it he makes into a god, His carved image. He falls down before it and worships it, Prays to it and says, “Deliver me, for you are my god!”

Welcome to the SDMB, Joshie. A link to the column is appreciated. Are there any jokes in the Bible?

Previous threads on this subject:

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=2972

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=72588

That was supposed to be a joke? I thought it was a blueprint for making your own personal god! All that work for nothing. :mad:

did you know that Mary and Joseph, the parents of Jesus, had a lot of marital problems? in the bible it says that Mary rode Joseph’s ass all the way to Bethlehem.
i’m sure the Bible doesn’t word it that way, or if there’s anything about a donkey in the Gospels, but i heard it when i was a kid, and it’s about the best Bible joke i’ve ever heard.