My wrist hurts. Probably carpal tunnel.
My shoulder aches. I have a headache. I’ll bet it’s a brain tumour.
What hurts on YOU?
I can’t believe that Tatertot hasn’t been here yet.
A couple of months ago she was sure she had hoof and mouth, or something with a long latin name, instead of a run of the mill virus. She was sure fun to watch though…
If you stop smacking yousrelf in the head you will not overwork your shoulder, you will not compress the tendon sheaths in your wrist, and you will not bounce your brain.
That will be 5 cents please.
This is the thread where I seek diagnosis for my many illnesses.
Headache, hmmm, could be a brain tumor, but that’s rather bland, don’t you think? Somebody as interesting as you would surely have Kreuzfeld-Jacob Syndrome (sp?).
Or maybe you have a blood clot in your wrist, and your brain knows that it’s about to dislodge itself and work it’s way up, giving you a stroke and this is it’s way of warning you.
You know, I’m going to feel really bad if you die, after I wrote all of this stuff.
Right now, I’m feeling okay, but my tummy hurts. It’s probably cholera, but who knows?
Oh, DoctorJ…
My back hurts- I think aliens kidnapped me last night and filled my spine with broken glass.
I just sneezed- I think it’s the Ebola virus.
Zette
I think I’m in the early stages of rigor mortis - I’m so stiff. It can’t POSSIBLY have anything to do with the two trees I planted the last 2 days… or the fact that I have a sedentary job and any exertion kicks my butt… Nope, it’s gotta be ol’ RM…
Do speak kindly of me upon my demise… <sigh>
Well, I either have Alzheimer’s, Mad Cow or a brain tumor. Or all three.
I’ve been getting more and more vague and forgetful—in an amusing Aunt Clara way, of course—and my balance (never the best) has been more off lately.
I’ve been forgetful and falling down. Surely I am at death’s door.
Uh, oh, Girl—if you really are Next Door, maybe we’re living under the same power lines?
::taking inventory, from head to toe::
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Headache, permanent - probably a brain tumor. Explains the memory loss, too. But that could be Alzheimer’s.
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Shoulders tight - spina bifida or osteoporosis
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Fingers hurt - onset of arthritis (I think this one’s real)
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Breasts vaguely ache - breast cancer, or just PMS
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Stomach - heartburn, permanent - Reflux disease
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Bowels - Irritible bowel syndrome
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Bladder - full, maybe a bladder infection
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Back, lower - more arthritis, or spina bifida, see above
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Left knee - more arthritis
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Skin - dry and itchy, dermatitis of some sort (or just dry winter skin!)
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Toes - ingrown toenails on both big toes.
I’m a mess… am I the most pathetic? Well, I think I am!
(muttering to myself) Shoot, I can’t compete with Delores. She thinks she came down with a case of spina bifada. Unless of course she was born with spina bifada and then that’s not really hypochondria, is it? (done muttering)
My tailbone aches horribly. It is probably a tumor or I broke it when I fell down the stairs 2 years ago. I’m sure sleepy on strange beds over the Thanksgiving weekend had nothing to do with it.
SLEEPING not sleepy. I am sleepy. Maybe I shouldn’t be typing in this condition.
Eve and GND, it might be Parkinson’s too. Are you feeling weak?
Check out this Onion article- very relevent
http://www.theonion.com/onion3616/internet_illness.html
Yes! Weak! I was watching “Out of Sight” and when it got to the part where George Clooney strips down to his undies and does Jennifer Lopez in the hotel room, I felt horribly, horribly weak. And sweaty.
I’m dying, aren’t I?
Poor balance, poor hand eye coordination, I forget things … this one is tricky because the symptoms for “brain tumor” and “generally ditzy” are hard to call.
I’m on the brink of having Toxic Shock Syndrome every month. Did you know there have been reported cases of TSS caused by wearing contact lenses? Now I’m on the lookout for it every day.
My hands hurt … I feel a bout of stigmata coming on.
Stigmata? Ooh, that’s bad… I’m impressed!