…I have a sore throat, an upset stomach, a sniffly nose, and a headache.
What could I possibly have?
(Yes, I am well aware I have a cold / flu bug. I want to hear all the crazy, outlandish things I possibly could have. ;))
Mange?
And if you’re also foaming at the mouth, you may have the rare strain of Shampoo Mange.
Ooo… that sounds bad. 
Anthrax. Definitely anthrax.
Hypochondria with a touch of Idontwannadoanythingitis.
Sounds like Alergis Workus to me, possibly complicated by The Doper Syndrome - an uncontrollable urge to stare at your computer all day. It’s contagious but rarely fatal, except to your job!
Could be a severe case of Laka Nookie or SARS.
You have a hangover.
I think you drank to much at Lobsang’s LOTRs party last night! We all saw you there, taking a drink everytime someone said “The Ring”.
Don’t deny it!
Ah, you enjoyed it as much as I did 
Anthrax? Shampoo mange? That’s the worst I have? C’mon, guys!
I still vote for a hangover.
So, when do you plan on joining us at a member? I could introduce you to the “Doper Bart Chairguy” and sponsor you.
Soon as I scrape up enough money!
“Doper Bart Chairguy”? 
:o 
I dunno what it is, but my uncle had the same thing and 40 years later he died. I’d be careful…
:: sighs ::
And I previewed. :smack: Doper Brat Chairguy.
It sounds like aliens abducted you in your sleep, slipped probes down your throat (thus making it sore), and implanted chip into your brain, the runny nose is the fluid draining off the fresh implant.
Headache and upset stomach are from the drugs and traveling at light speed, of course. Any other orifices sore?
I’ve heard a snug tinfoil hat can prevent these types of occurrences.
Well, starting from the top, the headache is from the flying elephant that landed on your pate. The runny nose is your allergic reaction to the panic-stricken monkeys that fluttered out of the elephant’s ass. The sore throat is either the result of screaming in horror at the giant slugs that emerged from the monkeys’ abdomens, or perhaps from the noxious gases released when the elephant fell off your head and landed on the slugs. The upset stomach is from overindulging in elephant tartare.
In other words, you have a bad case of GOPitis. Take two Democrats and call me November 3rd.
Tiggrkitty: I’m a n00b, I don’t know who or what that is either! :smack:
Ghanima: A tinfoil hat, just the thing! Do I have to use those Hershey’s kisses wrappings or will regular tinfoil do?
**
EddyTeddyFreddy**: Ah, but being of the True North Strong and Free persuasion, I suffer from Liberalitis at the moment
Monkey Pox. That nasty bug was going around some where in the world about a year ago. I actually called into work, told them I had Monkey Pox and wouldn’t be coming in.
Sounds like that deadly virus that I’ve heard can actually spread over internet forums. I know it’s silly and will shortly be debunked on Snopes. But just the same, I’m backing off from my monitor and keyboard just as soon as I hit “Submit.” The rumor is that this thing can kill instan
Sounds like the plauge. Make sure your family is prompt about putting your rotting corpse out on the side of the road when you finally kick off!
Dutch Elm Disease. Or maybe Irish Potato Famine.
It’s very cool to call in sick to work claiming to have Irish Potato Famine.