Ravenous Lady: Did it work?
Zoe: :eek: Somebody help!
Spudo: The plague? I didn’t know they had computers in 13th-century Europe. Wow! 
Colibri: Dutch Elm Disease? That sounds fatal!
Ya, it worked. I was a hard worker and I had been feeling like crap a couple days before I called in sick. The person I talked to wasn’t the owner, so was easy to tell him Monkey Pox. They were a fun group of people, every one was happy to hear I was feeling better after my bout with Monkey Pox.
Here’s a link if you’re just that bored and want to learn about it.
Legionnaire’s disease
The French disease
Rickets
Jaundice
Cholera
Flavivirus
Smallpox
Possession by demons
Halitosis.
These sound like the symptoms of Gadchecker’s disease. Gadchecker’s disease is caused by a rare, poorly understood bodily reaction to contact from the Spenilucoccyl astremperi bacterium.
Although S. astremperi is by itself harmless, the Killer T cells of a small percentage of individuals seem to react with S-Freisplei-DX, a protein found on the surface of N-strain S. astremperi. The exact cause is unknown, but this protein seems to cause the Killer T cells of predesposed individuals to mutate. They then begin engulfing and destroying red blood cells, gradually robbing the blood of it’s ability to transport oxygen over the course of about 48 hours. Anemia and brain damage, leading to death, usually occur.
Apologies in advance for implausible science in relation to my fake disease, and to anyone who happens to be named Gadchecker. Props to anyone who gets the S-Freisplei-DX reference.
Nymphomania.
I’m a doctor, I know these things. OK, I’m not really a doctor, but I do know these things. OK, I don’t know squat, but we could pretend. The key is not to cure the disease, but to keep the symtoms well treated.
Hmmmmmmmm… not real sure what ya got there Kythereia but it sounds like it needs my world famous cure all. Take two well oiled nekkid cabana boys (or girls if that’s your thing) to wait on you hand and foot, a quart of Ben & Jerry’s, a bowl of chicken soup, and lie on the sofa with remote in hand and and call me in the morning.
Ooh! Ooh! I wanna be sick, too!
Ok. Take two 'nanner sammiches with lots of mayo and call me in the morning. 
Too much deergoat. Like many German dishes it’s hard on your works first time around.
Or it could be rabies. My baby’s got rabies. She’s absolutely MAD about me.
In my professional opinion as a certified liar, I’d say you either have AIDS, Alzheimer’s, bird flu, a mild sniffle, ebola, or The Dreaded Lurgie.
The musty-gusty grungy friggies. Has to be…either that, or the greasy snarf buckets. Yep. uh-huh…
Wow, all these diseases…
Ravenous Lady: Your workplace rocks. Can I sign up? No Monkey Pox from me, I promise… maybe Dutch Elm Disease or a bit of Ebola.
iampunha: Which one? All of them at the same time? :eek:
Shirley Ujest: Halitosis! My God… is it fatal?
emekthian: Wow… Are you a sci-fi writer? You should be a sci-fi writer.
Doctor Jackson: Care to help me with the cure?
swampbear: I like the way you think! Want to join me in recovery with TellMeI’mNotCrazy?
Inigo Montoya: Ooof… too much miruvor, too. (You know, you look even nicer when I’m not drunk on that stuff… ;))
jjimm: The Dreaded Lurgie? That sounds bad. Will I expire in a horrible and gruesome death?
Faruzia: You must be channelling the guy I’m quoting below.
To conclude, I quote a famous and well-known author:
–Shel Silverstein, of course 
Nope. I just know enough about human body processes and Latin-sounding names to BS about such things.
I do write really bad fantasy, though.
Yup, that would do the trick. :queasysmiley:
…and tired.
emekthian: Cite?
TellMeI’mNotCrazy: Oooog. Poor thing patpat Come and join me with my cabana boys and Ben and Jerry’s! (If you’re not of the ovarian persuasion or don’t swing that way, I can scare up a few cabana girls…)
NoClueBoy: Of? (Hopefully not this thread. :()
The only other possibility is that you didn’t heed my email advice…
Quite possibly - for anyone nearby.
If it’s all the same to you, let’s let that halitosis run it’s course first.
It’s either that you’re pregnant or you have plagiaritis*.
*Generally a bad idea to post complete works