I really don’t know if this should go in GQ, GD or IMHO, so mods, feel free to move this wherever you please.
Recently, my two friends and I were in the car on a rather long trip, and we started making up hypothetical situations and pondering suitable solutions to pass the time. (Because we’re weird that way.) I came up with one that had us all stumped. Now I would really like to know what one should do in this situation.
Supposing we have a boy and a girl, who are 17 years old and have been going out for a year or so. Now let’s assume that both live with single parents. Through some turn of events, the parents meet, start seeing each other, fall in love and decide to get married.
What happens to the girl and the boy? If the parents get married, are they legally brother and sister and unable to continue their relationship? Or, since they’re not blood relations, can they carry on seeing each other? Are there any other legal questions involved? Have cases like these ever gone to court?
What about moral issues; do the parents have some sort of obligation toward the children because the kids were “there first”?
Does the situation change when the children turn 18? What if this had occurred when the kids were already 18?
I’ve been pondering this for quite some time now, which proves that I really don’t have much of a life :), but now I’d like to hear your views on the subject.
“What happens to the girl and the boy? If the parents get married, are they legally brother and sister and unable to continue their relationship? Or, since they’re not blood relations, can they carry on seeing each other? Are there any other legal questions involved? Have cases like these ever gone to court?”
They, of course, being the girl and boy, not the parents…
This exact situation actually occured with some acquaintances of mine in high school. The two teens (both 17) started dating as seniors. The girl’s mom who was seperated, but not divorced yet, soon thereafter started seeing the boy’s dad, who is a widower. The kids got married at 18 right after graduating, and their new in-laws were married two weeks later. This happened quite a few years ago and as far as I know all are still happily married. IANAL but I would guess that had the parents married first, the kids aren’t automatically brother and sister legal-wise without some type of adoption proceedings.
I think dbygawdcapn is right. But I also think that because they are not related by blood that doesn’t nescessarily matter. It’s not like their parents married each other when they were kids and they decided when they grew up to marry each other. (That would just be icky, if you grew up with them in the same house it WOULD seem like they are your brother/sister.)
Could be wrong but seems to me that if their parents are married and they want to get married but are not related to each other, then they would be allowed.
I don’t know anyone whose been in that exact situation, but my great-grandmother’s sister married by great-grandfather’s brother, and I think that’s sort of the same. They were related through the marriage of their siblings, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t marry eachother. I doubt anyone even questioned it.
I would think that the parents would wait and marry after their kids had moved out, though. For one thing to keep it from being uncomfortable, and also to not have two teenagers who are dating living in the same house together.
As I understand it, it depends on the state you live in.
One of my sister’s elementary school friends (elementary school was a long time ago) married her step brother. In her case, her dad married her step mother when she was 12 or so. She lived with her mother and only saw her step brother (who lived with her dad) a few times a year. They went off to the same college, fell in love, and married. I understand there was attraction between them before college, but they left things platonic until they were both adults.
This actually happened with my parents. My moms little sister married my dads little brother. I don’t really see it as the same situation though. All of the people invovled were adults and they never lived in the same house. It’s kind of like “I have a friend who might like your friend.” situation. They weren’t parents and their children so my parents had no legal responsibility for what was going on with their siblings. Does that make sense? Basically, it isn’t the same as far as the law goes.
I have a good friend who is married to his step-sister. Their parents married each other when they were teen-agers and a few years later they got married. They have been married at least 45 years, so I guess it worked. I don’t think the law was ever mentioned–I assume neither was adopted by the other’s parent. I don’t even recall being asked my parents’ name when I got a marriage licence. Of course, that was 38 years ago, so I could have forgot.
As for siblings, there is an item in today’s paper about a set of twins marrying a set of twins. And I have an uncle and an aunt who married a brother and sister. I don’t think there is any law or custom that suggests that is the slightest bit odd.
I remember there being a story on this in one of the teen magazines once. I think it was Seventeen magazine, but I’m not sure…It might have been Teen magazine. Anyway, there was a story about two kids that this happened to. Their parents married and then they fell in love. They experienced a lot of teasing at school.
also i side note, a similar situation was showed on a talk show, i believe it was Montel. Two teens were dating and everything, then their parents (both divorced) met and got married. The two teens hated it because their parents tried to keep them apart all the time. They couldn’t be in the same room alone because the famiy didn’t want them touching each other or anything. That’s about all i remember though.
