Would it be appropriate to date the sister of your brother’s wife? My SIL has a beautiful 20 year old half sister (I’m 25) and TBH I sort of have a crush on her. She looks a little bit like my brother’s wife but not to the point it turns me off. I lived with my SIL for 4 years so I don’t feel anything for her in that way, her sister is another story though.
I mean, she’s pretty hot and seems like a nice person though I don’t know her too well, only met her a few times and I have her on Facebook and Instagram. She lives a couple hours out of town in the same city my brother and SIL live in.
I’d sort of like to let her know how I feel and ask her out, but I feel like my brother and his wife might get upset with me, and I wonder if it’s considered taboo to date someone who is closely related to someone you are related to by marriage.
Two of my nephews (brothers) once dated two girls who were sisters. There was tension when one of the relationships soured and that led to the dissolution of the second relationship. Plus I alwys made rude comments about the relationships and the possibilities.
I’d say it’s not a best practice, from a sheer “drama potential” point of view.
Why? Because any of your drama now affects them, and any of their drama affects you. If the relationships get serious and any big drama happens, that’s a recipe for tearing a perfectly good family apart.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, no reason to fish in the family pond
Or think of it this way. In a normal relationship, the avenues for drama are “you and her” and “her and you,” and any drama with the extended family will almost certainly be along those lines. Things don’t work out, you part ways and move on.
In the situation you are posing, lines of potential drama are “you and her,” “her and you,” “her and bro,” “bro and her,” “her and SIL,” “SIL and her,” “bro and SIL,” SIL and bro," “you and bro,” “bro and you,” “you and SIL” and “SIL and you.” And the extended families can end up split in all kinds of crazy ways.
So it’s an exponential multiplier of drama, that also makes a clean separation nearly impossible. Not a good idea.
Not my grand parents, but some aunts & uncles. Two sets of brother sister combinations. Three were 'til death do us part. The fourth is likely to be that way as well.
This, and more: My grandfather and his identical twin brother married my grandmother and her identical twin sister. And no, I don’t think they ever “switched”.
I knew a pair of sisters that married pair of brothers. Sister1 and brother1 meet and marry. Second marriage was due to brother1’s married brother (brother2) and his wife offering to put up sister1’s single, hot younger sister (sister2) in his house while she looked for job in area. Sister2 and brother2 started affair while she was living with brother2 and his (now ex) wife which ended his not so great marriage and led to sister2 and brother2 getting married.
Sister2 is a bit of a handful and soon after getting married she and brother2 had their differences and seemed to be moving to breakup and this was HUGELY uncomfortable for sister1 and brother1 as they got it from it all angles. Sister2 got pregnant which seemed to settle her down and so far sister2 and brother2’s marriage seems intact.
It can work but if there are issues they become magnified by an order of magnitude and ripple disruptively throughout the combined families.
Happened in my wife’s family. A brother and sister married a sister and brother. Everything was great until one of the couples split up. Now family get-togethers are, let’s say, complicated.
I read your post and cringed. I wish I could say I never did anything so bloody foolish, but I did. I prefer to pretend my massive mistake never occurred, so I won’t be going into details here…but I will implore you to notice that there are 50 million or so other beautiful 20 year old girls not that far from you, and at age 25 you have a really good shot at meeting many of them. Go do that. It’ll divert you from taking a huge risk that has all the potential to haunt you for the rest of your life.
My older brother married the older of three sisters. 5 years later I married the youngest sister. We divorced 3 years later. A few years after that my younger by a year brother married the middle sister. That lasted less than a year. Older brother and sister are still married going on 43 years.
1 in 10 chance of success. In that slim chance you marry the sister and end up with this big happy family and a bunch of cousins more closely related than is typical. The rest of the time one of three things happens.
Second best outcome, the sister doesn’t like you and nothing happens.
You end up marrying the sister and every inter-family issue your brother and his wife face become magnified and everybody ends up miserable and one or both marriages fail, or worse, the marriages stay intact and all of you are miserable for the rest of your lives.
Things start up with the sister, but then run cold after you bang her. Then the families become split because the sister doesn’t want you around anymore. She’s going to marry some other guy and she doesn’t want you around her husband. You can’t be at any family she is at and your sister-in-law will resent you and take it out on your brother.
Now if may not play out that way, but do you want to take the chance?
Of course if it was me I’d go for it, no point passing up the chance to bang a hot chick.