On the flip side of this topic, I recently watched “Valley of the Dolls” actually expecting it to be hysterically awful. It’s considered an over-the-top camp classic, like “Mommie Dearest”. Yet I found it to be surprisingly run-of-the-mill ordinary bad. The first hour of this 90-minute movie is a tepid soap opera that drags on and on. A lot of the sensational shocks of the film are dated, to say the least. Sharon Tate and Barbara whatsername were both wooden and uninteresting.
The last 30 minutes pick up a bit, but even Patty Duke’s ludicrous bottom-out scenes aren’t worth more than a chuckle or two. The one howlingly bad moment is the weird, weird, weird “broadway musical number” with Susan Hayward singing onstage beneath a psychedelic diorama. But that is the one moment it truly reaches Ed Wood level of badness.
In that case, I might recommend Beyond the Valley of the Dolls. The acting is even worse, and the story is downright cringe-worthy. It starts off with a disclaimer that essentially states that the movie is in no way connected with VotD, but the writer and producer wanted to cash in on what they thought was a trend. The film’s tone alternates between naive cluelessness and heavy-handed moralism, and generally gives the impression that the writer* was a sweaty 40-year-old virgin typing with one hand as he feverishly imagined what kind of things “kids today” were up to, and how they should be ‘punished’.
Dungeons And Dragons - if it sucked any more your ears would bleed, yet weirdly, awfully, compelling, if only to watch previously respected actors {hello, Jeremy Irons} make utter tits of themselves for beer money.
Another vote for Night of the Lupus. My favorite scene is when the rampaging rabbits knock over a truck on the highway. As the vehicle bursts into a fireball (well, O.K. - bursts into a match flame) you can clearly see the word “Tonka” written on the underside of the truck.
Surprisngly, the original book (The Year of the Angry Rabbit) is pretty good. It’s about how a super rabbit killing bug accidentally turns rabbits into frenzied killer (regular sized) bunnies. The book is a also a comedy, a fact which seemed to escape the makers of the film.
The best line in the flick, and the best thing about it is it’s said by Maximillian Schell who immediately hits himself in the forehead almost as if he was talking about himself.
The Unanamable Returns. Me and my ex boss watched this after shutting up the pub one Friday night years ago. We did a bottle of vodka in watching it, and were just constantly pissing ourselves laughing at it.
“We must be quiet, as not to wake the evil” (Slams car doors, and then car boot)
Yep, this woulda been my pick. They’re supposed to be coming out with a Criterion Collection DVD of it soon. “This is my happening and it freaks me out!”
For a moment there I got the IMDB and the SDMB confused, and thought that maybe Roger Ebert was chanelling Wesley Clark’s Why is my semen black and orange!