I am a stupid moron...

Sorry, Satan. What you’re going through hits just a little too close to me and my first wife.

No, you’re not a moron. She’s either a cheater or emotionally arrested. Either way, you’ll be better off without her.

And if it helps you get through this, my ex-wife just divorced her 4th husband. On Monday my current wife and I celebrated our 19th anniversary.

Satanbaby, just thank your lucky start that you got out when you did.

She is one scary human being.

or your lucky stars

I’ll leave it up to you.

:::rolling my eyes at my own self:::

Sorry Satan, although I still can’t get the link to work.

I think my man George Harrison said it best:

*Sunrise doesn’t last all morning, a cloudburst doesn’t last all day.
Seems my love is upand has left you with no warning.
But it’s not always going
to be this grey.

All things must pass,
all things must pass away.*

Great minds discuss ideas;
Average minds discuss events;
Small minds discuss people.

Okay, I came this close { } to spamming the HELL out of xhtrleex@aol.com with some insulting animated e-mails.

Then I remembered that I’m at work and I could get into a lot of trouble if she decided to figure out where it came from.

Then I thought, “She’s not smart enough to do that.”

Then I remembered my house payment.

Satan, does the thought count?

Here’s the one I wanted to send really really bad:

Two Faced

and this one’s simple, but cool:

For Heather

Good grief. Going from “I wanna fuck you in the ass with a strap-on” to “I’m marrying someone else” within the span of a month is a mental process that I can’t fathom.

Personally I think you’re more lucky than stupid.

Show me a faithful woman and I’ll show you an unattractive woman.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Karma, baby. You got lucky, and karma covered your ass so you could get away in time. And the angels said Satan could never win – HA!

This chick scares me.

Should we start sending Matthew sympathy cards now, or just laugh our asses off at him?

Yeesh. I have to admit I DID feel sorry for her while reading the recent flurry of postings. No more.

Poor guy. (Matthew, I mean. I think it’s safe to say that Satan lucked out big time.)


You are definitely not a moron. She is an immature little girl who only thinks about herself and you definitely deserve more than that. In my opinion you are a very sweet man and there is a perfect woman out there looking for you. Use this bad experience as a learning experience.

Hang in there baby!


They’re not Hot Flashes,
They’re Power Surges!


What fucking medication did you not have her on, Satan? You know, I’ve kept out of this because I didn’t feel I really had anything to offer, but for fuck’s sake! ENGAGED!?!???!?!? Man, where is this chick’s soul? The vacuum toilets on the plane must’ve sucked it out her ass.

Nah, man, you’re not a stupid moron-you’re one lucky sumbitch. Just think-that could be you sitting behind her on that fuckin’ page. Engaged to somebody who doesn’t have the COMMON FUCKING DECENCY to tell someone they’re with someone else, let alone serious enough with them to consider getting engaged. Thank your Archnemesis that he got you out of there before you got shackled to that rotten fucking excuse of a human being.

I know revenge isn’t supposed to be a real healthy thing, but I gotta wonder if tall, dark and scary knows he was part of a set…

Take care man.

And the problem with small furry animals
in corners is that, just occasionally,
one of them’s a mongoose.
Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad

Hey Satan,
In no way are you a moron. Originally I thought that you two had a loving commited relationship but now I know better. If the loving and commitment are all one-sided and the other person is just putting on airs (like Heather obviously was) then there is no point in continuing to let yourself hurt over these issues. She used you and her subsequent engagement proves it. There is no way that you could have known how she would behave thus there is nothing that you could have done. Anyway, my advice would be just to think about the good things that you two shared and then tie a picture of her to a dart board and see how many times you can poke out her eyes. If that gets monotonous, fire is a nice cleanser for pictures. The fortunate/unfortunate part of this, depending on your viewpoint, is that there is now an endless supply of her pictures on the net. I know advice is just that, advice…take it or leave it. I hope that you put her vindcitiveness and just plain evilness behind you as quickly as she seems to have done with you.


Gasoline: As an accompaniement to cereal it made a refreshing change. Glen Baxter

Sweetheart, you are a lucky, lucky man if you ask me. Like someone above me said - that could have been YOU sitting behind her…

Now, at least, you don’t have to be the one who:

  • is not allowed to talk back to her family; remember? NO DEBATES!!!

  • has to worry about where your stupid bathtowel ends up since that’s such a “BIG BIG BIG PET PEEVE”

  • has to try to attempt to understand her “reasoning for things”

  • has to worry about “ultering” her beliefs

  • Must “flaunt” over her giving her the attention she craves and deserves

  • “must worry about NEVER putting your SO in a situation that makes them uncomfortable”

NOW - as a freewheeling kinda dude, you get to:

  • date women who use punctuation!

  • date women who know how the “caps lock” key works!

  • date women who don’t fall apart over some stupid cyber-bulletin board comment!

  • date women who use wierd fonts that make web content unreadable to most normal people!

  • date women who actually are able to carry on a conversation that has something to do with things not related to sex!

Take it from me babe, you are in a much better place…

And even though I’m not a gushy kinda chick, here’s a hug anway (which is just my sneaky way of coppin a feel…but I digress)


“If there’s anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.”

By the way, I should have not used my sig line in my previous post. I don’t think this situation counts.

D’OH - DON’T USE WIERD FONTS blah blah blah

I need a beer…

Ouch, Satan. Fucking ouch. Sorry about your continuing travails.

On the bright side (the revenge side) – do you think this Matthew guy knows about you and Heather-ho? It could be that you’re not the only one to get done by her over this. Just a little word or two in his ear and he might swipe that ring back so fast her finger comes with it … :wink:

–Da Cap’n
“Playin’ solitaire 'til dawn
With a deck of fifty-one.”

Sorry Satan!

Same thing happened to me! girl i was dating for 5 years ran off with my best friend since 7th grade–and they took my dog with them. bastards. so I know how you feel, and I know nothing we can say would help, but you really are better off.

You should email ol’ matty the dildo/ass thread for kicks.

We live in an age that reads to much to be wise, and thinks too much to be beautiful–Oscar Wilde

This sounds like a case fooooooor…


I think the guy had to have known. Remember Heather’s shrine to Brian? If the guy checked her website anytime in the past few months, he would have seen that. She practically mentioned him on every other page.

So Matthew knows, but doesn’t care. He deserves whatever he gets.

Uh oh Konrad. I know that guy.

I spent a couple of hours on his site reading stuff, thought he was a pretty good guy and wrote him an E-mail saying so. Then I read the part where he says he’s not a racist and then proceeds to tell racist jokes. I wrote to him about these conflicting statements and he put my E-mail up on his web site…

He sucks.