It seems like an easy accusation to make against someone with whom one disagrees, yet it lacks some kind of substance. What specific symptoms do I suffer from that would warrant the need for “professional help”? And what would that “professional help” consist of?
I eagerly await your diagnosis, so that I may return to full societal function.
Can you link to a thread where he suggests that you need professional help? Some of us here are in the dark.
Do you need help in copying and pasting a link?
Grrrr… 
Professional help, maybe?
ETA–Victory goes to the quick (and to the biggest shirkers of work).
From this thread. Sorry!
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=9446942#post9446942
Clearly that’s something only a professional can answer. When you get one to help you, don’t forget to post back and let us know what the answer was.
You seem sort of angry about the world. However, in contradiction of A.R. Cane’s advice, I think you should seek unprofessional help.
My prescription is for you to pin a frog to your lapel, stand on a bucket, and say “bibble”.
There has been no charge for this service.
I will take my hysterical laughter as a sign that you are teh funny.
Oh, our Italian cousins, eh?
At last, I have found direction in my life! But I think it would be better if I said “bobble”. That would make us stand out from the crowd.
It’s all the rage in Genoa, I hear.
I think the whole lot of you should seek professional help.
Specifically, professional programming help, which I am able to offer at a reasonable price. BASIC, C, C++, C#, Delphi, whatever, I can do it. I am highly experienced with both stand-alone programs and web apps. Call me today!
You must be crazy if you have not read the terms of service on the dope that prohibit you from using it to promote yer business. 
Get a man in to do it. That’s what they did back in the 1920’s when they needed professional help. Get a man in.
Especially the Italians, in those good old days Doctor Raymond Rimini would come in and say “I see, a-you a-need to say ‘bibble’ with-a frog-a on your lapel in-a middle of a scottish-a moor.”
Ahhh, 1920’s-style “heath Rays”.
Are you suggesting that A. R. Cane is not a man? Let the man fight his own battles!
But these are not the 1920’s. It’s modern times. We don’t “get a man in” to do it any more in these modern times. In Modern Times, we Know a Guy.
So if you need help, just give me the word. I know a guy.
Not to nitpick or anything, but he actually said you need to seek “profession” help. Maybe he thinks you’re not the best you could be at what you do. Also, Agnew was never in the White House unless it was as a visitor.
You are just a nattering nabob of negativism!