My brother used to ask me for help on his Latin homework. I never took a lick of Latin. But somehow I was usually able to figure out what was going on.
A friend of mine turned to me for help on an essay on one of Shakespeare’s Henry plays. Never read it. Some dude in there named “Hotspur,” but can’t tell you who it was, really. Still, I think I helped her fake it pretty well.
In Taiwan I’ve occasionally been asked to help figure out legal contracts. Needless to say . . .
How 'bout you?
Are you asking in a general sense or are you asking if I know nothing about the topic but were able to help anyway? I’ve been asked to help on many things I know nothing about and had to decline because I didn’t know thing one about them, but I don’t think that’s what you are asking here.
Able to help anyway (or at least pretend to do so).
The other day in the produce section of the grocery store, a stranger asked me about what foods she should buy for a diabetic. Something like, her friend is diabetic and going on a trip and what food could be taken along for them.
I don’t have diabetes, no one in my family does, but I gave her the best advice I could figure about low glycemic index stuff and protein based snacks. Why she decided to ask me instead of any other random stranger is a mystery.
While at work (at a bank), my boss’s boss’s boss’s secretary asked me to figure out the meaning of some symbols for the boss’s boss’s boss’s wife. She gave me some photocopied pages from a book and I googled the answer. It was a nice change of pace from my normal work.
I often carry my iPad with me when I go to a bar. It is pretty common for someone to say, “Hey, kayaker. . .who is that actress that was in that movie. . ?”.
A few seconds on my iPad and I tell them the answer.
Asked for directions* in Paris (where I don’t live) in French (which I don’t speak).
*presumably
All the time. I work in IT, and I know computers. Evidently, this means I know how to:
Really what I can do? Find the “Help” menu, or search on Google.
People come to me with medical problems. Although I’m Red Cross certified in first aid and CPR, I have no medical training at all. None.
I teach fitness at a dance studio (in addition to my day job as an editor). I see students do this to the other instructors and they do it to me sometimes: they come to us with injuries and medical issues and ask us what to do. “My ankle hurts!” “Could you look at this bruise? What should I do?” None of us are technically even qualified (with paper certifications anyway) to teach what we’re teaching, nevermind none of us are physical therapists, or nurses, or doctors, or orthopedic specialists, or even have any training in sports medicine or anything. My friend has a martial arts school and his students do the same thing to him.
I will give first aid advice and also emphasize about four times to also go see an actual, qualified, medical professional. No, I have no idea if you can do this activity or that in your first trimester. Try asking your doctor. Note: In my observations, I have noticed that the answer, regardless of who is being asked, generally begins with, “Well, I’m not a doctor and you should see one if this is really bothering you…” My answers end with, “But first aid for a pulled muscle is Rest, Ice, Compression, and Elevation. I can wrap that up for you, but you should see your doctor.”
I have a reputation for knowing everything. Fortunately for me, I have a pretty good ability to figure things out, and for making educated guesses that turn out correct 
My wife is the go-to girl at her work for all knowledge, too. She’s usually able to fix the problem or answer the question. When she can’t, she calls me (and if I don’t know, I Google).
All the time. I have some good Google-fu, I guess. Usually it’s at bars - our friends tend to have really cool smart phones with internet access that they don’t know how to use. I have an old flip LG phone from Virgin Mobile with internet that I can make work in most cases. Plus - they all leave their glasses in their cars so they couldn’t read their phones even if they knew how to use them.
I’m a trivia buff, and a bit of a showoff. As a result, I’m often the first one friends and relatives call when they’re trying to come up with the answer to assorted question.
About half the time, I have NO clue… which is more embarrassing than it should be.
This is such a great corollary to the What are the bizarre things people say to you when you tell them what you do for a living? thread
I used to be in charge of the concessions (food and drink sales) for a movie theater. The theater uniform was black shoes, pants, vest, and tie with a white shirt. As the supervisor, I wore a gray vest and pants instead of black. After finishing up late at night, I’d stop off at a grocery store to grab dinner on the way home. Quite often, other customers would approach me and ask where they could find a product. [It’s amazing how people assume you’re some kind of authority if you dress more formally than the norm.] Since I knew the store well, I could usually tell them how many aisles over they should go.
Then some of the other late-night regulars tried asking me to help with a return.
“I’m sorry, I can’t do that.”
“Well, don’t you work here?”
“Nope. Never have.”
“You mean you’re not a manager?”
“No, I just act like one at the movies.”
And then I happened to be at a hardware store, in-uniform, because I was on the clock and had been sent from the theater by my manager to find some extra bolts for our falling-apart popcorn machine. I was walking out the door when some guy was walking in. He stopped me and said, “Can you help me with some plywood?” So I walked with him (Okay, so I led the way because I knew the store well) to the lumber section and even went through the panels to help him pick out a nice one with relatively few knot-holes on either surface. Then he said, “Can you cut it for me?”
“Oh, no.” I replied as I walked away, “You’ll need to find an employee for that.” And then, to confuse the world even more, I walked up to a manager of the place and said, “Uh, Customer Assistance needed at the panel cutter.”
–G!
Well the weekend at the college
Didn’t turn out like you planned
The things you think are knowledge
I can’t understand
. – Fagen & Becker (Steely Dan)
. Reelin’ in the Years
. Can’t Buy a Thrill
Wear anything looking like a uniform in a store and your guarenteed to get somebody ask for your help.
It used to happen a lot to me in the military, where I was an electrician. “Can you fix my television?” “Can you figure out what’s wrong with my car’s electrical?” Well, no to both, as I’m not a) an electronics technician, nor b) an automotive electrician. It’s not that I knew nothing about those things (such as the theory behind them), but would only make things worse by mucking around with them.
Jesus Christ. I’ve worked as reference librarian. Nuff said.
My friend had me help him do a 3D animation project for school using software I’d never heard of on a computer I’m not used to. I guess because it’s very vague related to graphic design. I basically ended up doing the whole thing and he said it was the only reason he passed the class.
And I’ve been mistaken for someone who works at a store many times. But I’ll try to help if I’m able.
I’ve replaced a car battery for someone solely on the “look at the old one and try to put the new one in the same way” principle.
Ever since Linked-In came to be, my profession has been listed as a Ferrari engineer, and then a Ferrari “aftercare specialist”. I think it’s over 10 years now. Anyway, I have a network of people who work at Ferrari, or have worked at Ferrari, some who own Ferraris or are involved in maintenance and repair of Ferraris.
So, I’ve fielded a number of questions ranging from how to start an old Ferrari engine to one about a wing/spoiler.
Good times.
.
If you are wearing khaki pants and/or a red shirt in Target, I will ask you for help.
Sorry. 