I am Concerned that my Lady Friend Enjoys Rock Concerts So Much

I am having a long-distance relationship with my former high school sweetheart. We are both 52, madly in love, and want to get married early next year. The problem? While she and I have many similar interests, I am concerned that she and her (single) gal pal so enjoy going to rock concerts across the nation.

As background, my GF and I broke up in high school after an older guy at a party cornered her in his house, made some moves, and then took her into his bedroom. She later told me she (then 18 years old) was terrified and just froze. Amazing or no, she stayed the night in his room, but later described the event as “close to rape.” A good friend of hers later told me that my GF later confided that she had been seeing the guy for several weeks, which my GF hotly denied. I couldn’t handle it and broke things off.

Today here we are, older, wiser, and appreciative that fate has actually brought us together. We get along wonderfully, but I have some residual trust issues. What makes me apprehensive is her fondness for going to David Cook and Daughtry concerts. They’ve been to some 25 this year. Call me old-fashioned, but when I think of rock concerts, I conjure images of a libertine party atmosphere of much dancing, drinking, smoking, flirting, and loose people. My GF and friend stay in hotels when on travel, and her friend sometimes goes down to the bar for a drink while my GF (upstairs in her room) and I chat online.

To me, there’s something not quite proper about chasing rock groups across the nation. It seems … unladylike and somewhat wild. It unnerves me. My GF insists she is completely faithful and her gal pal says the same thing: We are “fuddy duddies at those concerts,” she says. That same gal pal also says my GF “never, ever looks at other men.” I have no reason to think otherwise, but I fear that some smooth-talking Lothario is going to see her dancing and celebrating and take advantage of her–something I concede could happen in her hometown. And if you’d ask me, I believe my GF is virtuous and not at all flirtatious.

I guess I need an attitude adjustment from the teeming masses because my Edwardian mind associates women who frequent rock concerts as easy prey and perhaps even a bit loose. Yes, I guess I feel threatened. And I’m a relic.

You need to go to a few concerts of your own… I’ve been to quite a few, in several countries, and never have seen the debauchery that you describe. Promise. The pics of chicks twirling their blouse are from the only chick that twirls her blouse (and that’s one in several dozen massive concerts, putting her as one exhibitionist out of around a million normal folk); it’s like when there’s fashion reports on TV, they always show the least-wearable of whatever the designer showed.

Nava, 41.

I hope you take this in the best possible way, but you’re being ridiculous.

I think that you need to go to a rock concert with your GF to find out what actually happens there, and perhaps get over your unreasonable jealousy.

Get over it.

I heard they also play Negro music at rock concerts.

That would unsettle me too! Now in all serious, folks, I hope this thread is a joke.

My husband and I (42 and 40, respectively) go to concerts whenever someone interesting comes to town - it is so far from debauchery that I really don’t know where you got your ideas, Edwardian. We go, we sit down, we listen to good music, sometimes we get out of our seats and dance a little, and then we go home. This isn’t about the concerts, this is about you not trusting your girlfriend; do her a favour and break up with her or get some help to work out your trust issues.

(For the record, I wouldn’t date someone who went to 25+ concerts out of town a year, but that is just because I want to spend time with them, not having them off without me every other week.)

Yeah, all that stuff you’re describing? It may be happening somewhere, but it’s not happening at David Cook and Daughtry concerts. And it is most certainly not happening to ladies in their 50s at those concerts. If there’s a “smooth talking Lothario” looking to debauch anybody at at David Cook concert, he’s looking at the pretty young things, not the lady old enough to be the grandmother of the pretty young things.

In other words, get a grip, dude.

I agree that you should go see for yourself.

And also that this is the best username/post combo ever.


I know of many affluent 30-50+ year olds that spend thousands of dollars following their favorite bands around the US (and even Europe and the Pacific Rim). They have the money, and they enjoy the music and the community of fellow music lovers. If that’s what they want to spend their money on, so what?

So…you think your girlfriend is enough of an idiot that she’s easy prey, and that all it’s going to take for her to be unfaithful is some smooth-talking guy?

If you DO really think that, you have something to worry about.

Seriously - nobody is having sex on the floor of a David Cook concert, of all places.

Drat, you beat me to it.

Edwardian Prude- great band name

Well, she’s probably not sucking off the band’s bouncer after he did a line of coke off her left breast, but you never really know. :smiley:

I’d be more concerned at the bands she’s going to see. There’s much better music out there.

Is this a woosh? Really? You REALLY think that women who go to rock concerts are easy prey and possibly snork loose? Come to think of it, which is it? Are they easy prey or are they loose? Or in your mind are they the same thing? Ya know, when a woman gets raped she’s really just asking for it by the way she dresses or talks or where she goes. She should know better than to be out at night by herself without the protection of a man. Right? I mean, how dare a woman have the nerve to be out in public, especially in a place that plays rock music, without proper male chaperoning? I mean really. Harlot.

Yep. When she was 18 she found herself in an unfortunate situation. She’s had 34 years to develop some coping skills.

I haven’t gone to a lot of rock concerts in the last 30 years, but I went to one a couple of years ago. I had no fear that someone would try to sell me bad acid. Life insurance or an AARP membership, maybe.

Agree with t he others, but this is what leapt out at me: You’re 52 and you have trust issues over something that happened when you both were 18?

Wow. Get the fuck over it. She’s an adult! Unladylike??? I’m sorry, the definition of a “lady” has changed some over the years.

A) You should start going with her, at least some of the time - couples should at least attempt the other person’s interests.
B) You really need to get over the trust issues. 18 is vastly different than 52 and I am only 33 and I know that. I don’t make the same mistakes from even 25. (Why should I, there’s plenty new ones to make.
C) It’s her money, it isn’t yours, and control is an ideal way to drive her away.

I’m fairly certain this is a joke. If you don’t think so, read this and not laugh:

Ha ha ha, come on!