I am failing where the brain damaged succeed

She said that she works with brain-damaged patients, providing assistance to help them at the neurological clinic. She said that some people get a certain brain damage in the pre-frontal cortex that elicits symptoms quite similar to some of the symptoms of ADD: Poor “executive control” functions, e.g. planning & undertaking things, beginning tasks, etc. She said that there is one thing that always works. She said that it works on even the most intransigently disorganized of the brain-damaged crowd. She said that even those who have failed miserably at every other organizing tool, succeed with this tool: The Palm Pilot. Specifically, the Sony Clié because of the way the calendar opens up, or something like that.

A Sony Clié shows up under the christmas tree. Since then, what small gains I made have deteriorated so much that I am now at the point where the only thing functional that it does is to keep my hours at work, and I don’t know how long I’ll keep up at that. I’ve actually stuck sticky-notes to it. Do you get the god-damn, earth-shattering irony of that?! Sticky-notes on the effin’ PDA because I can’t undertake the effort of writing a couple of words in the thing.

I must be some kind of mother-fucking genius to get what I get done at work—how do I keep that many things in my head at once? Maybe it’s because I’m disorganized: If it’s out of sight then I forget about it and I’m constantly finding things that I need to do as I shuffle through piles wondering what the hell is going on. Unfortunately it ain’t cutting the muster and I need to get myself on a better trajectory in the not-too-distant future.

I know! I can use the organizational tool that even the most obstinately-disorganized, pre-frontal-cortex-brain-damage-having patients can use successfully! Oh wait, I’m evidently too effin’ screwed up to even succeed at that. I wonder what fantastic organizing method I can fail at next. I just love being so pathetic that I cannot exist without the largesse of my family, and these periodic reminders sure do add to the fun. Yay!