I am fed up with my sex drive

In My Humble Opinion
61

My advice: meet women and let them put you in the dreaded “friend zone.” It will remove that mysoginist stink that you’re the only one who can’t smell.

No, they won’t fuck you, and they won’t set you up with girlfriends who will. But an exercise in cross-gender relations with them will be more appropriate for you current condition, as opoposed to an unrealistic expectation of finding your One-True-Hot-MonkeySex-Love.

And anyway, you’re 19. Your OTHMSL at this point is also the person destined to become your first ex-wife.

62

Exalted one,

I think this is not an answer that you would give me if I was your good friend.

63

Just be careful about combining those activities.

64

I’m the best friend I have, and that was the advice I’d give myself back to when I was your age.

gvozd,You have a debillitaing chip on your shoulder, not a monster between your legs. You are at an age when you no longer get a pass for having an as-yet-unformed personality, because it’s quickly becoming a malformed personality.

I’m sorry your feelings get hurt and your sex drive is frustrated. Welcome to the adults.

65

I’m sorry, but who gives a shit which is cause and which is the result? It’s perfectly acceptable for women not to want to have sex with him. It’s not acceptable for him to be obnoxious to women.

Yeah, he might want to sob into his pillow over his lack of sex. I get that, really I do. I remember those college years, and they were awful and lonely. So go cry those tears in private, wipe your eyes, and get back out there.

There’s no excuse at all for being shitty toward women. None.

And as for folks offering you advice, get this: sometimes people are gonna give you gentle advice in a loving manner. But the people that will do that probably aren’t random strangers on the Internet. And when you unload a whole heap of shittiness toward women in your posts, there’s not a whole lot of love here.

You’re not behaving in a likable manner. If you want to get some action, you’re gonna have to change who you are so that you’re more likable. Tough up, listen to the advice, stop being so defensive, and decide if you’re willing to change.

66

My dog has no sex drive. Removing his nuts worked for him.

67

To get some perspective: gvozd, you’re in large company.

Kinsey says (data from 2005):

Percent of population having had first intercourse, by age, for Males:

25% by age 15
37% by age 16
46% by age 17
62% by age 18
69% by age 19
85% by age 20-21
89% by age 22-24

So if you’re 19 years old, over 30 percent of your peers is in the same situation as you. And you see that between ages 19 and 24, that percentage goes up. Statistically, your chances are good. College is for many people the time to get sexual experiences.

68

I apologize phouka. I was under the wrong impression.

First off, I am not trying to offend you as you try to do to me :wink:
Look at my first post. I wrote “regards” to show my politeness. What else should I do in my limited English ability and language barrier?

Please listen.

Why does it bother you seeing somebody crying?

I care about that. I created the thread therefore I care. Simple. Logic. Get it sir?

Yes sure. But in this thread what is happening is that I thought she was being obnoxious. Don’t create silly scenarios in your mind, like I am being obnoxious because not all women have sex with me :smiley:

What the hell is this? People are rude and mean to you but you just have to be silent even when they insult and offend you. This is unacceptable.

I guess, Life is just not nice to some people. Thus they try to get rid of their misery by trying to step on people.

In your opinion, why do I have a chip on my shoulder? What is the cause of this? If I know cause I can get rid of this I guess.

69

A very long thread with a similar topic, from way back.

70

Wow, I posted in that thread, too. Two weeks later the US invaded Iraq - if that puts our personal problems in any sort of perspective.

71

So? It’s not set in stone. It’s a saying. We have them in English too–they don’t have to rule your life. :dubious:

My, my. And whatever will you do, young lad, when your partner doesn’t want sex? :rolleyes: I actually like the black and white thinking here: I must have a constantly sexually available female OR castration! There are no other options!

Oh, you crazy kids. Middle-aged suburban American soccer mom checking in here: he means a prostitute.

This is a rather drastic solution to a temporary problem–sort of like beheading yourself because of an itchy scalp.

Here’s a another saying for you: “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.”

“Your kind?” Seriously? Cluephone: females are not another species. If you regard us as females and refer to us this way, no wonder you’re not getting any. :dubious:

“To pain” is incorrect. You can cause someone pain or something can be painful, you can even have a pain (like in your head), you can even BE a pain (to someone else), but you cannot “to pain” someone(it pains me to tell you this). Plus, your statement is incorrect: to cause hurt to someone who is already in pain may well benefit me–but that’s just me being very Doperish.
Bottom line: Find SOMETHING that interests you that involves socializing. Do this. Learn to laugh at yourself. Stop concentrating on sex 24/7. Even 19 year old guys can do this. Get checked out by a doctor, just in case. When you meet a “female person” (let’s call her a woman, ok?) at this shared interest you now have, remember to laugh at yourself, but also to not laugh at others (at least until you get to know them). IOW, learn some civility, manners and patience. Instead of approaching this issue as “me, me, me–must have sex NOW” like a big baby, maybe you could invest a bit of yourself into friendships and getting to know and like others.

Also, if the “unattractive” is due to personal hygiene or skin issues–see your doctor or read a men’s magazine on tips to reduce body odor, clear up acne etc. Most people who are getting laid have put forth some effort to do so.

Good luck, I guess.

72

Speak for yourself!

I was never awkward.

73

This. A hundred times* this*. Now, you shouldn’t let your chercher-la-femme activities take over too much of your time, energy, and $$…but you do have to get over being afraid of failure and rejection.

It took me way too long to realize that failure is a *good *thing. Everyone is going to have a “failure rate” – typically, let’s say 5% of attempts at getting a relationship going lead to something good.

That means if you haven’t failed at least 19 times (on average), you’re never likely to succeed!

The biggest problem for me was that I equated failure (of one’s hopes at the moment) with embarrassment. That’s really a hard emotion to overcome. But it can be mimimized, with practice.

74

http://resim.donanimhaber.com/upfiles/966648/56CC10E126104A559FCB2FBC618072B7.jpg

Whoa!!!1111!!11 Congrats sir. Now tell’em boss tell them!

He said “almost”, not everyone.

It is not an offensive word. Why is it not offensive to call men as male while women feel offended when they are called as female? Seriously asking.

Can I say “you cause emotional pain to me”?

Hell yeah!!! Would you be offended if I call you “Maiden of Anguish” ?

75

You’re right, “female” is not an offensive word by itself, but it can be used in ways that many women find offensive. The reason it’s offensive is that it suggests that someone is less of a person, or that their being a person isn’t important. “Female” can apply to all kinds of animals, after all, while a “woman” is a human being. (Yes, the exact same thing is true of “male” and “man”, except men don’t get called “males” as often as women get called “females”.*)

I think the reason that people in this thread reacted strongly is that many, many times, on this board or elsewhere, we have heard (young) men complaining about their love lives-- and experience shows that when someone uses the word “female” instead of “woman”, they often have unrealistic expectations about relationships (for example, that all “females” are the same). It’s one of those little things that seems insignificant, but can give clues to the way someone is thinking.

I don’t think you meant to offend, especially since English isn’t your first language! I would definitely advise to use “women” instead of “females” in the future, though, in English writing and speech.

76

Oh I told 'em. I told 'em good. I said, “Yo peoples, I am never awkward, in fact, I is a super confident bitch at the best o’times”. Yeah, I told 'em, you betta believe that!

77

Another piece of advice that Savage gives for older teens is to not concentrate so much on getting their 19 year old self laid, but work on getting your 21 year old self laid. Hit the gym (like Brain Dead said), read books, take classes, work on developing social skills and go out and meet people. Person A might not be interested, but she might like you and introduce you to Person B or Person C.

78

It doesn’t, but here’s a pro-tip: very, very few women find the sight of a man crying because he can’t get laid sexy (if any woman in this thread wants to gainsay me on that, I’ll stand corrected). Unfair? Maybe. But that’s how it is, so I suggest you cry those tears in private if you want to get some action.

And that’s metaphorical, too: in general, desperation is unsexy. If you look like you’re anguishing over not getting laid, not many women are going to find you attractive.

Which was my problem. When I was actively seeking out relationships, I knew I looked desperate, because I felt desperate, and I couldn’t figure out how to stop looking desperate, and women tended to get creeped out by that desperation. Every relationship I got into was when I finally stopped looking for a relationship and thereby stopped cock-blocking myself.

Okay, great, you care about the relationship between your shitty attitude and your virginity. But you’ve already managed to get yourself in bed. If you care about having a relationship with other people, then it’s what matters to them that’s important, and they’re not gonna care about the relationship between your misogyny and your virginity: seeing the one, they’re gonna care about the other. Simple. Logic. Get it sir?

That was someone else who created that scenario, suggesting your misogyny could be excused (or something) because of your lack of getting some action. Not my scenario. You responded to her heartfelt, if blunt, correction of your terminology with nasty misogynist rant, and again, there’s no excuse for that, not even if you did it because you thought she was being obnoxious.

No, I’m not telling you to be silent when people insult you. I’m telling you that when you ask for advice, shut up and listen to it, even if the advice is painful or threatening to you. Your response to advice has been to get defensive and nasty back to people, which is totally fine if you want to continue in your lack of a relationship. But if you’re serious about change, then again, shut up and listen to people who are trying to help you.

Because despite the rough nature of these posts, I think we’re all rooting for you, hoping you can find your way to change enough to be genuinely attractive to an awesome woman. Right, folks?

79

Eons ago, I overheard the receptionist/secretary of the tiny company I worked for as she was talking to a friend who was visiting. It started out as “Did you hear Jeff’s mistress dumped him?”

“No. What happened?”

“She asked why, if she wasn’t pissed about the sex-on-the-side and he didn’t seem to love her anyway, why he ever married his wife in the first place.”

“And?”

“When he said, ‘So I could get sex all the time.’ she called him a pig and left.”

“And he didn’t figure it out, did he?”

“No. That’s Jeff. I doubt he ever will.”

–G!

Love is more than a one way reflection
STOP… using Sex As A Weapon
. --Pat Benatar
. Sex as a Weapon
. Seven the Hard Way

80

Moving to IMHO.