I don’t know why I got my hopes up about this shit. I have had zits since I was about 17 years old and I am now 26 and I don’t know why I thought this would finally nuke them into oblivion.
You see, I never break out really bad, just 2 or 3, sometimes 4, at a time. But they are the cystic ones. You know, the ones that don’t come to a head and they take weeks to go away. I have pale skin too so they are nice and red.
Luckily for me my skin doesn’t seem to heal as well as it did in my youth so I am left with nice red marks on my cheeks and chin that I am assuming will be there forever.
I am also “blessed” with the appearance of a 17 year old. I am not exaggerating here. I am routinely mistaken for a 17 year old boy. The only people who think this is a blessing are people who look there age. Its tough, professionally, to be taken seriously by people who think you are a punk kid no matter what you do to show them otherwise. The zits just make me look even younger.
So I made my way thru all the medications, over the counter and script. All the antibiotics, creams, washes, and whatever else you could think of. None of them even put a dent in the acne.
So I started accutane since my insurance covers the entire bill for it. Started out great. I was on 40mg p/day and for a month and a half I didn’t get any zits. My skin and lips were dry as shit, but it was working.
Then BOOM!! I was hammered by 6 giant red cystic zits all at one time about 2 months into the treatment. I had never gotten that many at once in my life. It was awful. I called my doc and told her that I needed to boost my dose because the shit seemed to be failing.
So I got up to 60mg day now. Worked good for about a month or so then, now, BOOM! 2 giant red cystic zits on my face. I know you are thinking “Hes bitching about 2 zits?” but these are not your normal zits. They are Uber-Zits. They have their own respiratory systems. Fuck…
I have abot 3 months of treatment left and I will continue it to the end so I don’t have any regrets, but I wish I wouldn’t have gotten my hopes up with this shit because medication almost never works for me. I read all the great stories of people who never got another zit after treament and hoped for that but it just doesn’t look like its gonna happen.
Its kind of an end of the line feeling. If this does not work then the fight against acne is over. Once you have nuked it withe the most insane drugs on the market and that didn’t work its time to accept your shitty complextion. I always had that in the back of my head that I could get on accutane and surely nuke these things if I wanted to.
Well its not working. What a dissappointment.
On a side note I know that there are alot of people out there with skin way worse than mine and I am grateful that I don’t have constant breakouts and zits everywhere. I just cant stand having any because they hurt and they make my already young face look even younger.