Not sure if I’m turning into an intolerant old crank, or just relying on several decades of experience to spend my time on things I know I might be interested in.
I used to say I would go just about anywhere, watch/listen to just about anything done at a high level - whether I knew anything about it or not, or was predisposed to it or not. Just figured that there was value to having the widest range of experiences possible. As of late, I’m more and more content just realizing that I have no interest in more and more things, and just not wanting to attend to them at all. I’d rather sped my time and money on things I’m pretty sure I enjoy, than seeking experiences I suspect I will not.
I was thinking this yesterday. I spent the morning cleaning house. Then we went to a musical - Evita. Then to friends’ house where we watched the Super Bowl thru halftime. Sometime during the halftime show, I realized that cleaning the house was the thing I had done that day that I enjoyed most!
-I just don’t enjoy the vast majority of theater - especially musicals. And I had seen (and had not enjoyed) Evita before. But my wife likes to go and we have season’s tickets with another couple.
-The Super Bowl was the first moment of college or pro football I had watched all year. Did not know a single player on either team, and couldn’t care who won. I used to not really mind watching the SB and ads sorta as a cultural experience, but I realized I really didn’t care about just about anything they were advertising, and didn’t know any of the celebs in the ads. Not bad, tho, as we could talk during the game.
-The halftime? I’m done with people saying I just have to listen to more rap/hiphop to appreciate it. I am glad other people like it. But I’d prefer silence.
Somehow or another, as I’ve realized I just am not interested in much of what passes for entertainment, I’ve found it more challenging to give the impression of enjoying - or even tolerating - sitting through it. The previous play in the series, the other folk joked me about falling asleep. This one, I thought I was paying attention, but my wife told me I was sighing audibly. And during the halftime, I felt strongly that I would rather be reading a book.
Anyone else feeling the same? Just becoming more and more circumscribed in their preferred pastimes - and okay with that?
I aggressively want pro/college sports to not affect my life.
I have said for years that my goal was to get through the Super Bowl without knowing it was happening. This is the first year I have achieved that goal (sort of). I knew it was coming up, but I did not know it was yesterday specifically until I read your post.
What a relief. Does that mean I feel the same as you?
yep. Some of it is merely being old enough to have satisfied my curiosity about many things. Some of it is a sense of time being wasted that no longer feels to be in infinite supply. Some of it is an ever-waning desire to connect with other people by doing stuff they like but I merely tolerate; I don’t seem to have the energy any more to pretend to like stuff-- takes all my energy just to be politely non-committal, apparently.
This is called the exploration/exploitation tradeoff and is a key part of reinforcement learning. If you are a kid, you stick mud in your mouth as you don’t know how it tastes. If you are new in a town, it’s worthwhile to eat at a wide variety of restaurants. On your last night in town, it’s usually best to eat at your favorite place.
It’s also quite useful as a way of handling multi-variate testing as it “minimizes regret.”
I work desperately to make sure what you describe does not happen to me. I see how my father ( who watches TV all day and only leaves his apartment to smoke/go to the dining room), calcified as he got older, and I really desperately want to avoid that for me. Luckily I have an adventurous spouse and 3 teen/early 20 kids who introduce me to new media, music, and interests (my college freshman loves sharing the stuff learned in Anthropology class) so I can avoid becoming so set in my ways and traditional interests that I become unwilling to experience new things. There are certainly misses (I suck at pottery, and I still despise almost anything that has to do with “fashion”), but some hits (I actually like some Kpop [Day6 is pretty good] and I never would have known I loved escape rooms but for my wife’s family). I think it’s very important to keep trying new things as we get older.
Let’s see - 9:10 a.m. - I’m wondering if I should google to see who won the damn game?
Covid has actually been a positive for us in some respects. We are VERY fortunate that we have a comfortable home ad secure income. Our main interests include gardening, making music, enjoying the company of each other and our dog, reading, binging some TV, having a select few people over… We’ve focussed on making our home the most comfortable place in which to do those things. The more successful we have been in accomplishing that, the less interest I have had in goin gout and doing other things.
I wonder if there is a correlation between folk who bemoan the lack of options during Covid, and how comfortable they are w/ their living conditions/cohabitants?
One saying that I’ve taken to heart is “You don’t have to eat garbage to know you won’t like the taste.”
I have to use that philosophy every time family members pressure me into watching yet another movie that I know I’m not interested in. Problem is, their idea is, “You can’t judge something before you’ve actually done it” - even though I may have already done it a dozen times, they still think a slightly different iteration of the same thing will be different, and claim I am being narrow-minded or prejudiced if I refuse to give everything a blank-slate chance even though I know full well Thing XYZ isn’t my thing. If I’m not interested in Broadway musicals, or a particular food, I don’t have to go through lots of money and hours of boredom/annoyance to make my point for their sake.
I do not at all describe what your dad does.
-Each week, I go to a coffee shop to play music w/ 1 group for 2-4 hrs on Sat, I play w/ my string band 1x for 2 hrs, and 2 people come to our house to play classical music for 3-4 hrs.
-In warm weather, I play golf every Sun morning w/ a group ranging from 18-82. And I play additional rounds at least every other week.
-We walk our dog multiple times - around our neighborhood and in forest preserves.
-I bike hard w/ my sister 2-3x/week for 20-35 miles, discussing al manner of things, including our interest in nature/birding/gardening.
-I enjoy traveling from IL to Denver, St.Louis, Fla. to visit family.
-I attend an annual banjo camp in Mich.
I also enjoy reading - A LOT. And ending the day w/ an hr or 2 of TV we enjoy.
But I really know I really enjoy all of that. I’m perfectly happy to do those things, rather than things I have reason to believe I will enjoy less.
And I would rather clean toilets than fuck around trying to learn new technology…
This weekend we went out twice and had a great time. But, if someone asked what the best part of the weekend was, it was giving my gf a driving lesson in her Arctic Cat, a walk in the woods with the dogs, and throwing the Jolly Ball for Kizzy.
I think there’s a certain amount of having enough experience as you get older to know that if you haven’t liked things in a general category, it’s unlikely you’ll like another one in the same category.
I mean, I don’t much like most organ meats. I probably will pass on those in the future, because I’ve tried a variety and know I don’t like them. But if it’s something I don’t even know about, I’m not going to just decide against it because there are other things I enjoy.
That’s toddler thinking - I won’t try a new food, because I know I already like chicken nuggets.
I’ve become increasingly uninterested in the Outrage of the Day, and pundits’ take on said Outrages.
A great man, Don Herold said in “The Happy Hypochondriac” that “there are a lot of well-meaning people out to scare us to death”.
He was referring to health advice, but in a different sense there are a lot of angry people who want to rile us up about social issues and political causes, and make us just as anxious and hate-ridden as they seem to be.
I get stirred up about such things far less as time goes on.
I think it depends on whether or not there are still plenty of things that do interest you.
Life is short, and I know I won’t have time to experience more than a tiny fraction of the things that are found interesting or enjoyable by some people. I might as well focus my time and attention on those things that are interesting or enjoyable to me.
Man, I really whip through the paper every morning. I just skim the headlines and think, “Yep. More ugly shit going on.” And then just concentrate on living in a way that I am not causing anyone unpleasantness…
Some of the guys I golf and play music with are in their 80s. We went and played music with one guy in his hospital room the day before he died. I’m figuring I’ll be golfing and playing music as long as I can function, and when I’m no longer able to do either of those, I’m not sure how much I’ll want to keep going.
Last year I lost about 10 yards on each of my clubs. I imagine at some point in the future I’ll need to invest in “old man” clubs, instead of the sticks I’ve been using since I used to be good, and more fit than I am now.
Upright bass is my main instrument. But 3 years ago I realized a time would come that I wouldn’t want to haul a large piece of furniture around with me. So I picked up banjo, figuring if I started now, w/in 10 years or so I’d be decent at it.
So yeah, I’m not planning on becoming a total recluse anytime soon.
Somethings, like learning the guitar, well yeah. The latest TV show, not so much. My Wife and I play cribbage and or chess nearly every night. It’s great, some classic rock and a game or three.
After 6 decades, it’s not being a stick in the mud, it’s more of a ‘been there, tried that, no thanks’.
This may be a stupid question, but have you looked into getting an electric upright bass? That’d be a lot easier to haul around.
Anyway, at 74, I pretty much know what I want to be doing and not doing and don’t want to waste what little time I have left on things other people think I should.
I’m in a similar space, mentally and physically. I think part of my “lack of interest” is shaped by the fact that the parts of popular culture that are mass produced like any other product are designed to offer “cheap thrills.” That is, they excite the more primitive emotions: fear, anger, sense of being aggrieved, with no resolution except “tune in next week!” This is, at some point, futile and tiring and tiresome. Professional wrestling is a particularly obvious example, but professional sports, action movies, a lot of music, fall into the same category. I’ve enjoyed all of it, but it seems like white bread: a slice can taste like cake, but it’s not very nutritious and not very filling and kinda boring.